Kyle Hates Lou Holtz, a lot!
by trumpetduck on Jan 11, 2009 8:06 PM PST
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PrintLou Holtz is awful, as in terrible at his job. He is old, a homer domer, doesn't understand today's game, and is annoying as shit. These are some of the reasons why I 100% loath everything about him. So the topic came up, I said I could write a blog about it and this is my best shot. However, the nation championship game was on last night and the broadcast team of Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis was so terrible and all about Tim Jesus Tebow I cant resist.
They really got the ball rolling in the first half with my favorite moment of the entire game. A lil' paraphrase for you: If you have the fortune to meat Tim for five min or even a half hour you life will forever be better for it. Are you serious? The whole forth quarter was a Tebow love fest the likes of which have never been seen before, which is saying something. Including this gem in regards to the OU defensive back who said Jesus Tebow would be the 4th QB in the Big 12. Thom calls it the most ridiculous statement ever made. (Don’t remember the actually quote, but it was worse) Ever? So that means the entire history of talking correct. I just going to say there might have been a few worse statements made. Just piss poor all around by Fox, makes me happy for the ESPN BCS era, who woulda thunk it?
Speaking of ESPN and the BCS, the most important question we cn ask ourselves is: Will the executives wake up by 2011 and fire Lou Holtz or will he be on even more, and heaven forbid, call a BCS game? Oh what a scary thought. He can't remember players names, he mixes up schools, do we remember the last show he got through without a major mistake? Ok, so is not the best talker out of the talking heads, so that means his information and opinions make up for it, right. WRONG! He really does not understand the modern game. The spread is like a different language to him and it is always clear he has no idea what is going on. His blind, senile devotion to Notre Dame makes ESPN's totality of coverage loose credibility. His best quality is making everyone around him look and sound a lot better. Especially Mark May, a great open mind who's man job is owning Lou. Lou Holtz in general is just the worst person on TV. Whoever gave that man a job should be worse that fired. He should be locked in a room with Lou and made to listen idiot ramblings about football for eight hours a day. Torture!
P.S. He spits all over the place when he talks. I mean come on his job is to talk. You have one job, one job!
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.
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I love holtz <3
i crack myself up when i do his voice!!!!!
Just slur your words and sound like you're losing precious oxygen and I bet you have it nailed.
Is a mancrush on LeGarrette Blount considered beastiality?
Addicted To Quack [dot] com; Where the Shufelts, butthols, and like half of the population of Chicago roam...
YEAH
Sometimes when i watch him and mark may i just brust out in laughter!!!!
I’ll bet you even burst out laughing too
My HDTV is a JustinTV streamer who doesn't just use a webcam :(
by inroywetrust on Jan 12, 2009 8:42 AM PST up reply actions
Loescherrific!
Is a mancrush on LeGarrette Blount considered beastiality?
Addicted To Quack [dot] com; Where the Shufelts, butthols, and like half of the population of Chicago roam...
My personal Lou Holtz classic was midway through the 2007 season
When Notre Dame was like 1-7 or something, Lou Holtz dedicated like a 5 minute “coach’s board” segment to them in the middle of like their show. It was all about the history of Notre Dame and “what they have to do to get back to their winning selves” or some horseshit like that. I literally rained tears of pity. I just turned to my dad and said “Seriously. HOW BAD DOES NOTRE DAME HAVE TO BE IN ORDER TO NOT GET ATTENTION?” After feeling cheated by Notre Dame in the 2005 season where we ended up in the Holiday Bowl while Ohio State hammered ND, I could not stand them still. It was one of those things that truly hurt my college football soul.
Is a mancrush on LeGarrette Blount considered beastiality?
Addicted To Quack [dot] com; Where the Shufelts, butthols, and like half of the population of Chicago roam...
I would be so thankful...
…if Lou Holtz was a play-by-play guy. It could be the funniest thing ever. He would shame every other terrible broadcaster ever. John Madden would look like Stephen Hawking.
--AddictedToQuack, SBNation's Oregon Ducks blog
he does it
crappy Thursday night games with the whole college football live crew. Its so horrible. It makes me cry.
Ducks Go!
694, bam!
Does he actually do the games?
Or just do the studio stuff…
--AddictedToQuack, SBNation's Oregon Ducks blog
he and mark may were doing color, they did the poinsettia bowl at least.
It's spelled "M-A-R-C-H-I-N-G-B-A-N-D."
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
I'm incredibly sad that I missed that...
It must have been magical.
--AddictedToQuack, SBNation's Oregon Ducks blog
How about
a mud wrestling contest between Lou Holtz and Dick Vitale?
It's spelled S-H-U-damn it I can't think of one!
...as long as they literally fight to the death
My HDTV is a torrented game that I can watch lag-free :(
Let LaMarcus keep the headband!
by inroywetrust on Jan 12, 2009 12:56 PM PST up reply actions
So what are the coaching openings?
Idea: Holtz/Aliotti.
Freakin' Lou Holtz
I’d swear that between takes, he has an assistant replace the soggy papers that he is reading from. I do feel bad when I make fun of him though. I’m really not that bad of a guy.
As for everyones love for Tim Tebow…I’m gonna step out and say that I am a Tebow fan. I like his style. He must have some serious will power to not have revolving doors on his bedroom while being the BMOC on a national championship team, a Heisman winner, and a local guy at Florida. Have you seen the girls down there? I couldnt do it.
I bleed grellow. Maybe I should get that checked out.
I respect Tebow as well, and I like his game. He’s one of my favorite non-Ducks, but the way that some people treat him, like he’s the Messiah, is a bit much in my opinion
My HDTV is a torrented game that I can watch lag-free :(
Let LaMarcus keep the headband!
by inroywetrust on Jan 13, 2009 10:33 AM PST up reply actions
He isn’t?
DAMNIT!
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
No...he totally is...
--AddictedToQuack, SBNation's Oregon Ducks blog
by jtlight on Jan 13, 2009 11:28 AM PST up reply actions 3 recs
CRUCIFY HIM!
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
...too soon man...
Is a mancrush on LeGarrette Blount considered beastiality?
Addicted To Quack [dot] com; Where the Shufelts, butthols, and like half of the population of Chicago roam...
I spy with my little eye…Touchdown Jesus!
My HDTV is a torrented game that I can watch lag-free :(
Let LaMarcus keep the headband!
by inroywetrust on Jan 14, 2009 8:56 AM PST up reply actions
I don’t care for making fun of his speech impediment. He’s insane enough as it is.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
Not to discount what you're saying,
‘cause you’ve brought this up before so it’s clear you think it’s distasteful, but fwiw I don’t think his impediment is natural—it sounds like ill-fitting dentures.
That could be.
I’m not out on some politically correct agenda, but I just think that making fun of how he talks/impediment/dentures/enlarged tongue, is just going for the easy target.
I really dislike the guy. He’s delusional and he’s bat-shit insane. I think we have a witty enough base here that we don’t have to succumb to “say it don’t spray it” jokes.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
When talking about ESPN and Holtz...
I believe the most appropriate term is “circle jerk”
Omar...I'm done with you. Hello Darren Ford! Come to papa.
Oh. And to come clean, I did sorta make a Lou Holtz spit joke today on CGB…
I didn’t want to do it… but it just felt right.
It's spelled ""S-H-U-Y-O-U-V-E-D-O-N-E-S-O-M-E-N-I-C-E-T-H-I-N-G-S-W-I-T-H-T-H-E-P-L-A-C-E"
Lou Holtz is Beano Cook incarnate
And just like Beano, he should be put out to pasture pretty soon. All he needs is five or six more chins.
Favorite Beano quote of all time – responding to a question about east coast bias and the Pac-10…
“I’ve never noticed any so-called east coast bias toward the Pac-10 in the media, a good reporter pays attention to all the teams, Heck, I VOTED for Casey Palmer!”
I like Beano
He’s a crazy old man, but they don’t really let him do alot of analysis so that’s ok. He’s good at putting things into historical context
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