If none of this makes sense, read the hostile takeover thread. All of it.
- my balls make Haloti Ngata look like LaMichael James.
- Zach Follett asked my left testicle to be the chef of the Pain Train dining car
- Sam Cassell's balls dance came about from a six-month stint he did working for me as my testicle caddy. That position is now held by trumpetduck and butthol, working in twelve-hour shifts.
- My right nut taught itself how to talk. Its first words were NAILED IT!
- My balls could organize a bloodless coup against TwistNHook's fascist regime, but they kinda wanna see where this goes.
- My balls are currently holding Tom Holmoe and Joe Ayoob for ransom. In hindsight, this is the worst decision my balls have ever made.
- My balls beat Adimchinobe Echemandu in a footrace. EDIT: My balls would also like credit for spelling Adimchinobi Echemandu's name right on the first try.
- My balls declared themselves Sanchez, just so no one else could.