No one is really sure who invented the first drinking game, though my money's on the Chinese. Those guys invented EVERYTHING! But seriously, the first drinking game was probably invented by someone much like the community here at AtQ. And I don't mean the first drinking game was invented by an armchair quarterback to spends WAAAAAAY too much time on the Internet. I mean it was invented by a group of friends who enjoy having a good time, competitive activities, and knocking a few back every once in a while.
With the bye week this weekend, we all need something to do. How about a drinking game or twelve? The beauty of a drinking game is that you don't have to adhere one set of rules. With a little imagination, you can make anything a drinking game! I'll take you through a rundown of some of my favorites, but I encourage everyone out there (except qrsouther, axemen23, CaDuck, and any other minors hiding on the Interwebs) to use your noggins and the camaraderie of others to invent your own game. I'll even include the rules to a couple I have been a part of inventing.
I know, I know. Everyone reading this on the East Coast will scream and yell that this is actually Beirut, and Beer Pong is played with paddles. Well this isn't Dartmouth, we call it Beer Pong, get over yourself. Beer Pong is probably the most common drinking game around college campuses, and a great game if you're feeling particularly competitive. The basic rules are usually the same. It's played on a table, preferably a ping pong table, but any similar sized table will do. Teams are on opposite ends of the table, and alternate turns of attempting to throw a ping pong ball into cups of beer on their opponent's side. If a team makes one, the other team drinks it and the cup is removed from play. First team to make every cup wins, and the losing team has to drink all the cups remaining on the winning team's side. The more detailed rules vary from place to place. Each location has their own "House Rules". Here are mine:
- 2 re-racks per game, meaning a team can re-arrange the cups still on the table before their turn twice, whenever they want.
- If both players make their shot in the same turn, they get the balls back.
- The Grenade Rule: If both players make their shot in the same turn in the same cup, then that cup and all cups that cup touches are consumed. Also known as the Lion King Rule (Everything the light touches is yours).
- If you bounce a shot off the table and into a cup, it counts double. However, as soon as the ball hits the table, the other team is allowed to deflect it away.
- The Gentlemen's Shot: If you shoot, the ball comes back to you on the table, and you grab it, you get a free shot from behind your back.
- Heating Up/On Fire: Remember NBA Jam? When you made two shots in a row, the announcer said, "He's heating up!" When you made a third shot, he said, "He's on fire!" and you could basically make any shot on the court. Same thing applies here. You make your second shot, you declare that you are heating up. You make a third shot, you declare yourself on fire, and you are allowed to shoot until you miss.
- Spilled cups: If you knock a cup over, it counts as made. If a shot knocks a cup over, then use more beer. And it counts as made.
- Fingering and Blowing: In some games, it is permissible to,when a ball is spinning around the side of the cup and has not landed in the beer, to either use one finger or to blow into the cup to try and get the ball out, saving the cup. I think that's chickenshit. Make some shots, and you'll get shooter's rolls.
- Rebuttal: When a team makes their last cup, the opposing team gets to shoot until both players miss to try and make all cups they have left. Rebuttal is negated when both players make cups, thereby getting the balls back, or if the last cup puts a player on fire, and he makes the cup again.
- Overtime: If a team is able to make all their cups in Rebuttal, there is a three-cup, one-beer overtime. Same rules apply.
- Cheating is grounds for getting the hell out of my house. Gentlemanly play is required.
Special Rules: Trolling - if you go an entire game without making a single cup, you are the Troll and you must sit under the table until the next game is over.
My other favorite drinking game is HOCKEY. This one comes with pictures too!
Hockey requires a quarter, a table, and drinks. This game is less about winning and more about drinking, and works best with at least four or five people. How it works is:
1. One person takes the quarter, spins it on its edge, and calls another player's name.
2. If your name is called, your job is to hit one of the other player's drinks with it. If you are not called, you may block your drink with the Horns of Rock.
3. If no one's can is hit, anyone picks up the quarter and repeats steps 1 and 2.
4. If someone's drink is hit, it's drinking time! The person that hit the drink spins, and the person who got hit has to drink for the amount of time the quarter is spinning. Anyone is allowed to try and keep the quarter spinning.
5. While someone is drinking, anyone can try and stop the quarter on its edge. If you are successful, whoever is drinking has to finish their drink. If you try and fail, you finish yours. High risk, high reward.
6. If you spill a drink on the table, it's time to bring out the Zamboni. By Zamboni I mean your mouth.
7. If, during play, a player tries to hit a drink, and the quarter is still spinning on the table, it becomes a free-for-all. Anyone can hit the quarter into anyone else's drink.
8. If your drink is on the table, you're playing. Even if you leave the room. Or the party. Or the state. You'll owe drinks when you get back.
The plusses to Hockey are that everyone gets to play the whole time, instead of waiting for a beer pong table to open up, and you can come in and out whenever you want (TWSS!).
A couple more of my favorites:
F*** THE DEALER
Played with a group of four or five or more, one person starts as the Dealer. The person to his or her left starts by guessing a card. If it's right, the Dealer puts it face up on the table and drinks. If not, the Dealer tells if the card is higher or lower than the guess. The guesser guesses again. If they are right, the Dealer drinks. If not, the guesser drinks the difference between their guess and the actual card. The card is placed face up on the table and the next person around the circle guesses. If the Dealer stumps three people in a row, he passes the deck to the left. Eventually, it gets really easy to guess since everyone can see the cards that have been played already, and eventually the Dealer has to drink a lot, thus the name.
For this you need an ice cube tray, a quarter, and a shot glass. Fill the glass with a shot of whatever you want. Place it at one end of the ice cube tray. The object is to bounce the quarter into the tray or the glass. The left side of the tray is drinks to you, starting at the front with 1 and working back to 6. The right side is drinks you give out to other people. The last cube on each side is the Moose. If someone makes it in the Moose spot, everyone puts their hands up like antlers and yells, "Moose!" The last person to do this finished their drink. Make it in the shot glass at the end, and make someone else drink it. You can refill it and keep playing or end the game there, totally up to you.
And now, two that are personal to me:
THE TOP GUN DRINKING GAME (INVENTED BY TAKIMOTO AND TRUMPETDUCK)
1. Grab a drink.
2. Start watching Top Gun.
3. Whenever someone says something homoerotic, drink.
4. Whenever you see Sundown (the black guy) in his mirrored aviator sunglasses, drink twice.
5. Chug continuously through the volleyball scene.
6. Take a shot for Goose when he dies.
Works every time.
My favorite tailgating game. It requires a lot of beer, and a golf ball.
1. Drink 10 beers (as a group, not individually)
2. Set up the beers as pins.
3. Move back from the pins (regulation distance is two parking spaces), and roll the golf ball at the pins.
Drinking is as follows: Strike, everybody else drinks two. Spare, everybody drinks one. Open frame, you drink the number of pins left standing. Double gutter, shotgun a beer. Keep score if you want, we usually don't.
Works best on parking lot concrete, but could be played indoors on hardwood floors if you were so inclined.
Post your favorite drinking games in the comments. If you don't like drinking games, use the comments section to complain about the "younger generation" and how we're out of control and doing an awful job of maintaining the country.
THE RETURN OF KEG STICKERS!
Keg stickers were on hiatus last week because I forgot to do them. Oops. This week's stickers go to:
-Matt Daddy, for his picture-laden defensive analysis.
-071903, for his hard work littering Canzano columns with Mitch Hedberg quotes
-MarineCorpsDuck, for his balanced and consistent performance in the comments the past two weeks.
NEW FEATURE! - YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A BEER
The "You Look Like You Need a Beer" section is for those who, well, haven't had the best of days and could use a cold one.
-diehardoaklandfan22. We're not hating dude, you're a good writer. This round is on me.
-Matt Daddy and ArbyOSU. Cool the jets fellas. We may like different teams, but Tako Tuesdays is no place for feuding. Sit down with a couple beers and bury the hatchet.