Lots of conferences have championship weeks. Lots of conferences have rivalry weeks. But the Juju has only deemed the PAC-10 worthy of having the two coincide this year. Since the nation's eyes and ears will be turned toward Autzen Stadium on Thursday night, it is time that we turn our eyes and ears toward the Juju. Its secrets can be made known to those who take the time to unearth them.
A fun tradition over at OBNUG is use an anagram-ifier to find interesting / embarrassing / sophomoric anagrams of the names on their upcoming foes' rosters. However, I'm pretty sure that the Broncos don't understand the forces they're employing. Anagrams are the Juju's way of communicating directly to its humble servants.
Coach Mike Riley: A Mere Oiled Chick
The Juju would like us to be aware that Mike isn't much to be afraid of. It seems a bit sexist, but who are we to question it? These are messages sent down to us from on high, people.
Sean Canfield (#5, QB): Laced Fannies
This is a bit on the TMI side. I personally don't want to know what kind of underwear Sean chooses to wear. That's his deal. I'm just hoping that I don't have to see his sports bra.
John Reese (#85, TE): He's On! Jeer!
Here, Juju is clearly asking us to be vigilant. This guy hasn't played at all in 2009, but there's an outside chance that he'll see some action on Thursday -- or, maybe, that we'll see him on the sidelines. Or something. Whatever. But we are clearly instructed to actively despise this man.
Joseph Halahuni (#87, TE): Uh, Josh: Heal Pain.
This is obviously about Josh Kaddu. My gut instinct is that the pain in Josh's foot will be temporarily relieved due to a win over the Beavs on Thursday. But who are we to limit the Juju? The Juju might decide to perform a miracle and simply heal Josh's foot outright. Juju be praised!
Brady Camp (#83, TE): Bad, Crampy
It's not really news that the poor man's Ed Dickson leaves something to be desired, gameplay-wise. It is news that cramps are to blame.
Aaron Nichols (#46, WR): Ran A Solo Inch
The Juju went a bit Spanglish on us for this one, since 'solo' is Spanish for 'only.' (Though it's strange that the adjective didn't come after the noun.) This is a preview that our defense will contain their somewhat-productive wide receiver.
Justin Kahut (#27, K): That U Is Junk
James Rodgers (#8, WR): Dame Jogs, Errs
Doesn't run fast, makes mistakes, and is a girl. The possibly-sexist jokes may seem unnecessary, but remember -- I'm just an interpreter.
Jacquizz Rodgers (#1, RB): Sixty-Five to Thirty-Eight
Okay, I traded the q and the two z's for an x. And I traded a whole bunch of other crap too. But I'm pretty sure that the Juju would approve.
Of course, there are tea leaves to be read from our own rosters as well. Take, for instance:
Jeremiah Masoli and LaMichael James: A Jade Heisman Limo Calls. I Am Here. Jam!
I'm picturing JM/LMJ standing outside a green Ducked up limousine in New York, rocking out to some air guitar.
I leave you with these closing thoughts:
Oregon State University: It's A Rose Tryout Evening / Roses Negative In Tryout
If that's not a clear message, tell me -- what is?
University Of Oregon: Rosy In Routing Of Eve
What's the only thing better than winning the day? Why, that'd be routing the eve. (This is a night game, after all.)