The Night Before Game Day
by JConant on Dec 2, 2009 5:10 PM PST
in Oregon Ducks Football
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PrintMaybe it's the holiday spirit. Or that, combined with the enormity of tomorrow's Civil War. Whatever the case, I found myself motivated to express myself in an unusual manner. Some knowledge of common ATQ themes will be helpful, as will some patience with my prose.
In the name of all that is good, The Almighty Juju and Joe Shufelt, I give you: The Night Before Game Day
The Night Before Game Day
Twas the night before game day, and all through the town
Not a Duck fan was stirring, not even Ass Clown.
The jerseys were hung in the closets with care.
Green, white, black and yellow, each one was there.
The fans were all nestled down deep in their beds
While visions of T.J. Ward danced in their heads.
'manda in her teddy, and Joe in his drawers
Settled in for deep sleep, at least 'til Joe snores.
When out on the terrace there arose such a clatter,
Joe sprung from the bed to see what was the matter.
Straight to the window, loaded glock by his side,
Joe yelled, "I'm packin', so you'd best fuckin' hide."
But Joe did not shoot. There was simply no need to
For there on Joe's terrace stood the Almighty Juju.
He stammered and mumbled, staggered and stumbled
By the angelic glow, our young Joe was humbled.
She shimmered like lightning, with a sharp yellow hue,
But her words were soft spoken, enlightened and true.
Joe thought she looked hot, so he sucked in his gut.
She donned only a jersey once worn by one Blount.
Now fast on his feet, Joe suddenly was,
As he dashed to the kitchen, his mind still abuzz.
He knew only sacrifice would help his Ducks win.
Joe's gift was Ninkasi, aged whiskey, cold gin.
They talked and they joked, and Joe asked her to stay.
But The Juju declined. There would be no three-way.
As she rose to her feet, The Juju would say,
"I must go see V.D. He was quite bad today."
The Juju was pleased. She gave Joe as soft kiss.
Joe knew the next day, he would get his wish.
As The Juju climbed back on her magic, green Fat Boy
She shouted to Joe in loud tones of pure joy.
"Down Boilers, down Utes, down Bears and down Cougars.
Down Bruins, down Huskies, down Trojans and Devils."
"They trampled the Wildcats. They'll soon skin the Beavs.
Then it's on to The Roses, with tricks up their sleeves.
There they'll pound Pryor with the greatest of ease.
Your Ducks will send Buckeyes back home on their knees."
Joe waved to The Juju as she rode out of sight.
He went back to the bedroom and turned out the light.
As he lay next to 'manda, he thought with delight,
"I had beers with The Juju. What a fucking great night."
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Straight to the window, loaded glock by his side,
Joe yelled, "I’m packin’, so you’d best fuckin’ hide.
For the epic win.
It's spelled "T-a-k-i-D-O-N-A-L-D-3-0-0-0"
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
Amazing.
ATQ has produced brilliant post after brilliant post leading up to tomorrow. Each one has been a thrill to read. Keep up the good work, and Go Ducks!
by Freeing Ray Schafer on Dec 2, 2009 5:17 PM PST reply actions
Awesome
I was in the Duck Store in Portland today (picking up a UO Sweatshirt) and they had the Cal game playing on the monitors. Reminded me of the game I truly knew we and Juju were one.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
The USC game is On Demand if you’ve got Comcast Sports Net. Just watched it. It’s still awesome.
It's spelled "T-a-k-i-D-O-N-A-L-D-3-0-0-0"
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
By the same token
I’ve decided what I’m wearing tomorrow, after I leave work early at 3:30 or so, is my new UO sweatshirt, over my Autzen reaper shirt with my UO warmup pants and my Fiesta Bowl champs hat.
Watcha thinks?
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
If I saw you on the street...
I dont know if I could figure out you are a Duck fan.
Tmrw I’m going with my trusty green Oregon sweatshirt, green oregon logo shirt, and green oregon logo hat. I dont have any shorts/sweats to rep
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
I'll wear it after I get home
Unfortunately I do have to look professional and since I don’t have $75 to blow on a UO logo dress shirt and another $60 for a tie.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Yeah...
I know what you mean… Your quiver of representation sounds very respectable!
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
You can do like me
I’m wearing my Oregon T-Shirt beneath a green polo for work (and I’m going to cheat a little and wear my Oregon sweatshirt to the office instead of a nice jacket). As soon as I get to the car, it’s on with the Ducks hat.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
Polo, good idea.
I may wear my polo to school tomorrow instead of my oregon t-shirt that is way too small…
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I was wearing a Kellen Clemens jersey. It’s unrelated to this, but yes dear, your outfit looks great.
It's spelled "T-a-k-i-D-O-N-A-L-D-3-0-0-0"
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
plus one for not having a real job
I have not taking my dixon jersy off since Sunday.
Can I get a Gooo Ducks?!
by trumpetduck on Dec 2, 2009 7:41 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Is it still in the same location in Downtown Portland(has it moved in the past year?)?
I used to go there (kind of close to the Beaver store), But when I was in Portland a few months ago I could,nt find it!
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
They moved it to the new UO center
The White Stag Building, NW Couch and Front St. basically.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Well, that sure as hell explains it :)
I only visit Portland twice a year, so I am not very savvy with downtown happenings
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
Yeah. Found that out earlier this year. I felt like a complete idiot.
I called 411, and went to the new one, and it felt so foreign, but I still had in the back of my mind that I was an idiot.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-P-R-E-T-T-Y"
I only figured it out
Because I looked it up on the Bookstore website before heading over there today.
Nice play, espresso bar and everything.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
Ha!
Glad to see that I am not the only one with this problem
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
So SICK.
He can run, he can pass, he is sicker than e-coli. Jeremiah always keeps things rolling.
by MarineCorpsDuck on Dec 2, 2009 5:38 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Official. Lyrical. Genius.
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
this needs to be published
with illustrations for each phrase of course. I’m going dixon jersey on top of long sleeve green shirt, oregon warmups, duck socks, my rigged up do-rag (those who saw me at the asu tailgate know what that means), eye black/war paint
Your official City Crow Of Eugene. Serving the community since 2009!
Incredible
Nicely done. Juju’s gonna love it! Long live Juju!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gooooooooooooooooo Ducks!
"No one ever rises to low expectations." - Chip Kelly Head Coach at the Univ. of Oregon.
by SouthOfTheBorderDuck on Dec 2, 2009 6:34 PM PST reply actions
Amazing
That shit is not only funny, but I bet true too.
GO DUCK
I stepped away from my computer for a second, is it Thursday yet?
It's spelled "T-a-k-i-D-O-N-A-L-D-3-0-0-0"
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
I have 4 hours and 17 min till thursday
Can I get a Gooo Ducks?!
by trumpetduck on Dec 2, 2009 7:44 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Nice work.
Just watched my highlight clip of last years Civil War and so I shall wear the #24 jersey in honor of JJ and his big-ass, back breaking runs. (Not to mention a little nod to Terrence Whitehead).
did anyone see the tweet about what they're wearing?
Retro helmets with new O’s, green retro jerseys and White pants!!!! No no no…. no white pants!
by quackattackinaz on Dec 2, 2009 8:00 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Also, two reasons why this isn't bad.
We thought yellow helmets were cursed. 42-3 happened.
Also, if I remember correctly, Chip Kelly explicitly said that the white pants had no effect on our play. And I believe him.
It's spelled "T-a-k-i-D-O-N-A-L-D-3-0-0-0"
I support inroywetrust in his support of The VD Special in his support of me supporting Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.
Is there a Rec the hell out of this button?
Epic win, as someone said above
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
New Uniform Combination: from Mosely and
"Nike founder Phil Knight, a major Oregon booster, was in attendance. He said Oregon, which has nearly 400 uniform combinations and wore a different one every game last season courtesy of Nike, isn’t done breaking out new looks.
"We’ve got another one coming this year," he said. When asked what it will be, Knight smiled and replied, "Oh, no, no."
This makes me smile...
Almost an evil villan type smile and cackle.
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
Just a reminder...its alright to check out my avatar...those of you who REALLY appreciate Juju.....
If you were there last year, you mighta seen it…
Cold up here
Low tonight 23 degrees, tomorrow night by game time 19 degrees. Life at 7200 feet elevation and 1436 miles from Autzen. Is it gametime yet? PANIC!
Flagstaff?
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
Lakeside, AZ. 11 miles from So Low.
Oh damn, it IS gameday. I am resigned to being irrelevant to all things not Duck. I will ask the Seven Grandmothers to raise JUJU high on their ancient shoulders in blessing.
by AZDeadHeadDuck on Dec 3, 2009 7:25 AM PST up reply actions
Hmmm,
If you could pull off a “300”-esque sacrafice…That would be quite grand!
Juju, you complete me...And now as your humble-as-ever servant, I kindly request the following:
So, how is it that one brother is named "James", and the next one "Jacquizz"?
Anyways, based on the picture; they look as if they have a relationship thats a little too comfortable.
I give that a JRec!!!!
Kenny Wheaton #20; The Pick - 1994 v UW. Matthew Harper #20; The Pick #2 - 2007 v USC. John Boyett #20;...
Workin’ on it.
I had a difficult time working on the part with Amanda and a teddy without feeling like some major perv.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-P-R-E-T-T-Y"
by JShufelt on Dec 2, 2009 9:59 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I saw Joe G and "Ass Clown" and couldn't stop laughing.
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog
Alright, I'll say it
S-H-U-F-E-L-T-L-I-K-E-A-P-E-R-V
Kenny Wheaton #20; The Pick - 1994 v UW. Matthew Harper #20; The Pick #2 - 2007 v USC. John Boyett #20;...
I think we have a winner.
"...the noise is one aspect, but you can feel the intensity of their crowd." - Pete Carroll on Oregon's Autzen Stadium.
You have WAY too much time on your hands
Either that or you just have 0 productivity like the rest of us.
"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely
By which you mean
“After the time I spent at my place of employment working on photoshopped pictures and getting zero actual work done.”
Don’t worry, I’m about to get fired too.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
GO DUCKS!!!!!!
Offline for a few days while travelling. Go DUCKS!!!!!!!! GO, GO, GO!!!!
FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and, of course,
PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(SInce I won’t be there in person or online to share this with you all….)
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