Tako Tuesdays, M.D.: FA(t)Q

That's right Matt Daddy gets to do Tako Tuesday.  I fretted and stressed about what I could possibly write that could compare to the loquacious Master of the Tuesday.  This is worse than Conan trying to take over for Leno, or George Lazenby replacing Sean Connery as James Bond.  Takimoto is beyond reproach when it comes to wit, humor and originality for our weekly Tuesday enjoyment.  Therefore, this post is in no way going to stand up to the astronomically high standards that the founder of the genre has created.  My only hope is to provide time for the Master to come up with an even greater prose then that which he has created before.

So I went away to the mountain this weekend to try and regroup and clear the mind to be able to come with something comparable to that which the Master would write.  I thought about a post on wine; nah that would not suffice.  I thought about a detailed analysis of the Ducks basketball team's defense; unfortunately there is no data for this analysis.  Finally, I decided that we all needed to be able to contribute to this Tako Tuesday to create something even remotely equivalent to what the Master would do.  So I settled on a topic of ATQ Rules.  Rules and terminology that this site has created over the years.  So I get home with the draft ready to finish and publish and started catching up on my reading with the Morning Quack Fix, and what did I see?

We need an AtQ FAQ...
by Takimoto on Jan 18, 2010 11:13 AM PS

So just like Leno overshadowing Conan or Connery taking Bond back from Lazenby, Takimoto has taken the limelight from my first Tako Tuesday.  So even though the author of this Tako Tuesday may say Matt Daddy, let's just consider this an extension of the Master's original thought and try and create a comprehensive list of Addicted to Quack FAQ's, Rules and Terminology.  As Gorby said:

We can call it the FA(t)Q. My contribution.
by Gorbachav5 on Jan 18, 2010 11:16 AM PST

So I'll start us off:

  • PaulSF FA(t)Q: First rule of ATQ, you DO NOT TALK about AtQ Second rule of ATQ, you DO NOT TALK ABOUT AtQ.
  • Men's Basketball FA(t)Q: Mark Few will not be coaching Oregon Men's Basketball.
  • The Amanda FA(t)Q: Whenever making a comment or posting about Amanda Pfulgrad on this site, your comment must be accompanied by a picture... as thus.  Rackmultipart

Follow closely by...

  • The Tiny. Spandex. Shorts. FA(t)Q:

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  • The Dominic FA(t)Q: Talk about firing Ernie Kent in the game thread and your life on ATQ will be a short one.
  • The Subjectively Over-Rated FA(t)Q: If you feel strongly about something you must defend it with a minimum of 20 long drawn out comments or until the opposition to your point concedes for lack of interest in arguing with someone by having to type every rebuttal and read every long comment you wrote in the first place.
  • Shufelt FA(t)Q: Make sure to remember to bring the beer.
  • The Backtrack FA(t)Q: If you make a bet for the whole blog world to know about having to both buy Zubaz pants, and by the grace of juju it comes to fruition, make sure to quickly backtrack on that bet to save yourself the embarrassment and avoid commenting about it so that everyone soon forgets (I haven't forgotten. You two still owe me pictures).
  • Bill Musgrave FA(t)Q: Don't talk about pop culture on his lawn or you might have to face his army of Eddie Pleasants, and Matthews, and Paysingers, and...
  • CaDuck FA(t)Q: Don't make your screen name a popular Oregon Duck football player for fear of upsetting the almighty Juju and causing that player to have terrible games until you change your screen name.
  • ATQ Relationship FA(t)Q:  Matt Daddy is not related to Jeff Daddy, and CaDuck is not related to DaDuck.
  • AllSaintsDay FA(t)Q: Make sure to use proper grammar, or he'll get his red pen.
  • davereg FA(t)Q: Don't talk about crappy beer on this site. We only drink quality beer here and any other comment to the contrary will require an onslaught of Jean Luc Picard photo-shopped pictures. Which leads me to...
  • PBR FA(t)Q: For a reason that is beyond me, talking about PBR IS allowed on this site.
  • Jersey Contest FA(t)Q: Oregon State will always be a game included in the Jersey Contest and Matt Daddy will always pick it incorrectly.
  • Gloaty McGloatingson FA(t)Q: If you win the Jersey Contest, for at least the first week afterwards you need to be insufferable about reminding everybody that you won the Jersey Contest and what player's jersey you won.
  • ATQ South FA(t)Q: Do not come up here calling for conquests and victories only to have your ass handed to you and sent back to ATQ South with your tiny cub tail between your legs.
  • Benzduck FA(t)Q: Plan for the future, learn from history and live in the present.
  • HoodRiverDuck FA(t)Q: Must remember to hit reply, must remember to hit reply... there it is, hit it, HIT IT! DAMNIT, I forgot again.
  • Trumpetduck FA(t)Q: Make sure to stretch before giving a high five.
  • The Poll FA(t)Q: There will be an immediate ban on all polls relating to a Duck victory either on the preview or game thread for that week's game.
  • The Easley FA(t)Q: Any great recruit Oregon has a shot of getting will end up going to Florida.
  • Juju FA(t)Q: Juju will always be with us even if we decide to stop acknowledging it's accomplishments. Juju will always be there.

I am sure that my hop and barley deteriorated brain have missed a few, but I think I have created a starting point for us to have an exhaustive list of all the FA(t)Q we must understand when posting or commenting on this site.

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