don’t be a damn commie, and vote Red Vines.

I’m worried my poll is bad. I think the people voting for “I’m an idiot” are only voting that way because they’re idiots, and not because they like Twizzlers. Every person who likes Twizzlers is an idiot, but not every idiot likes Twizzlers.

That is all. Good night.

I missed out the day of the Red Vines vs. Twizzler debate, but really… there is no contest.

Besides, Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

Also, Tootsie Rolls are good too, but I love the flavored ones that only come out in those giant packages around Halloween.

Also good, Rolos. Bite sized awesome.

Red Vines = yumm.
Twizzlers = meh.
Tootsie rolls = blech.

That MacGyver carried a pocketful of Tootsie Rolls to use as a substitue for plastic explosives. They are really that good!

Axeman eats valentines day candy hearts. The ones made out of bonemeal and earwig honey.

HOT DAMN … A keg sticker? For me? I’m finally somebody!

No, you fucking can not.

1.Sprees
I always get these when I go to the movies. At the dollar tree, you can get a really big pack of em for a buck. Sometimes they make me sick cause I eat too many though :/
2.Fast Break
It’s got like, Reese’s peanut butter and nougat packed inside chocolate. It’s delicious
3.Handmade Belgian Truffles

OK, that’s a bit descriptive, but any handmade truffle. Doesn’t get much better than biting into one of those, oh hell yes! I especially like Leonidas’, they have a small shop in Bridgeport Village near Portland.
4.Starburst
I’ve always loved these, since I was a kid, still a favorite.
5.Kit Kat bar
There are those little wafers you can get in packages, chocolate flavored. Guess what? They’re not as good as Kit Kat’s! Sometimes I just crave these. Cause they’re good.
6.100 Grand bar
These are somewhat unknown(Tako likes em though), but my mom used to buy these for me and my brothermy brother and I when we were kids, and I still get them to this day!
7.Nerds
They’re addicting
8.Trolli Sour Brite Eggs
Ooooo these are good. It’s just like sour gummi inside a little egg-shaped shell. Mmmmm.

9.King Henry Peach Rings
This isn’t too specific. Normal peach rings, Trolli notably(even though they make those lovely little egg thingys), are just sweet. King Henry Peach Rings are sour too! Very good!
10.Rollo’s
My grandpa gave me these all the time before he passed away. They hold sentimental value, even though that sounds weird, along with just tasting real nice and smooth.

Maybe you consider this sacrilege, but I have very fond memories of the purple ones you could get at the snack bar after Little League games. Were they grape flavored? Who knows? Who cares? They were fantastic.

Twizzlers blow.

Red Ropes. Ballgame staple. Long. You could wear it like a scarf and eat it from around your neck. Thoughts? Definitely behind Red Vines on texture and taste, but I couldn’t see myself eating Red Vines at a sporting event if Red Ropes were available.

1. Twix: Caramel, chocolate, cookie crunch. And there’s TWO OF THEM!!!
2. Haribo Gummi Bears: Yes, I specified the brand – Haribo is amazing. I like the white ones best. It’s absolutely a racial thing.
3. Peanut Butter M&M’s: Like Reese’s Pieces on steroids.
4. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups: If not for the double wrapper, these might be number one. I want my candy easily accessible, dammit!
5. Skittles: Although I was tempted to leave this off for their disastrous attempt at introducing a chocolate flavor.
6. Rolo’s: I’m a sucker for caramel
7. Airheads: Another fond memory from Little League.
8. Heath Bars: By themselves? Not great. Bake them into cookies or mix them into ice cream? Outta my way, I WANT.

I’m down with Tootsie Rolls by the way. Best part about them? They were so small, that you could steal them from the Halloween jar (or your sibling’s stash of Halloween candy) without anyone noticing.

No one ever notices when the Tootsie Roll is gone. Hehehehehe.

Are available at my aforementioned favorite beer store in Portland—Belmont Station. They also have Ritter Sport chocolate and a number of other Eurocandies.

Personally I’m more of a chocolate person than a sugar person. In fact, Red Vines are one of the few sugary candies I actually like.

Zots are like hard candy with a Pop Rock center.

So, someday I fully expect to log on to AtQ and find that Takimoto has died from an acute ingestion of Zots and Belgian beer.

Just like Bobby Brady. Or something.

Have I mentioned I’ve taken too much cold medicine this morning?

I can’t believe the fancy pants, high-falutin’, hoity toity candy lists I’m seeing. Where are you eating this stuff, at a wine tasting? Candy only has two categories: Stuff you pay for, and stuff other people pay for. If you’re buying it yourself a six dollar bag of truffles is NEVER better than a 59 cent Kit Kat. Everything breaks down into loose categories, sort of like TP playing zone defense.

Chocolate
Chocolate with nuts or other stuff crammed in it
Chocolate with peanut butter
Misc fruit, usually chewy
Stuff that hurts your teeth (jawbreakers, etc)
Pure Sugar (Pop Rocks, Pixie Sticks, a bag of sugar without the coloring, etc.)
Red Vines
Doughnuts (which can count as a snack OR a meal)
Beer

best thing ever

Just for the record.

To describe either one of them as “licorice” is reason enough to be kicked in the balls repeatedly. There is only one color licorice ever comes in, BLACK. But I digress. A list of my favorite sugary treats would usually include:

Oreo’s: I know they’re cookies, and I don’t care. One bag of Oreo’s mixed with a gallon of milk in a punch bowl is fucking awesome.
Whoppers: The Happy Days of candy.
Caramello: “Lets take some hollow, chocolate squares, and fill them with liquid sugar. Scene.”
Honorable mention: Circus Peanuts. Yes, I know.

The ones in the little boxes made by Necco?

They’ve totally fucked them up. Took out the banana ones, changed the green minty ones to lime. How dare they fuck with my traditions. Fuck!

I won me some beer, lots of it.

I can die now.

Dark Chocolate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the shit … oh and also the Green Tea Kit Kats they have in Japan

1. Hershey Milk Chocolate
2. Cookie Dough Bites
3. Hershey Cookies and Cream Bar
4. 100 Grand
5. Three Musketeers
6. Reeces Pieces
7. Hershey Kisses
8. Andes Mints
9. Twinkies
10. Kit Kat

1. Dark Chocolate
2. Dark Chocolate
3. Dark Chocolate
4. Dark Chocolate
5. Dark Chocolate
6. Dark Chocolate
7. Dark Chocolate
8. Dark Chocolate
9. Dark Chocolate
10. Twizzlers, just cause dang, you people need to lighten up and realize Red Vines ain’t all that

Lemonheads
Warheads (REALLY sour candy)
Jolly Ranchers
Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Swedish Fish
Big League Chew

Also, let’s not forget what Hedberg has to say about Kit Kats…

“The Kit-Kat candy bar has the name ‘Kit-Kat’ imprinted into the chocolate…that robs you of chocolate! That is a clever chocolate saving technique. I go down to the factory, “You owe me some letters!”

I forgot, the best of all candy:

The Hershey’s Cookies and Cream bars.

I would give my firstborn son for a box of those.