Below the jump is a decidedly amateur transcription of the interview between Oregonian sports columnist John Canzano and Oregon head football coach Chip Kelly, on Canzano's radio show today (2/23/10).

I have done my best to capture the exact wording of the interview, despite the fact that a good portion of it was not an actual conversation, but two guys talking at the same time to someone who was not listening.  In these cases I've attempted to capture the spirit of the conversation. 

Readers who dispute the accuracy of the transcript, or veracity of the transcriber, are welcome to take their own crack at the job. There are some things in life that transcend satire.

Canzano's words are in italic. Wording in boldface indicate the speaker was either shouting or agitated. Text in [brackets] is editorial or reflects inaudible or garbled commentary.

(Cutting out the opening pleasantries; the transcript opens with Canzano's first comment...)

-          I was just telling listeners to the show that I'm conflicted when it comes to you, because I respect..

-          I'm conflicted when it comes to [love? life? a lot of things?].

-          (chuckles) that's right, I, I respect you, I think you're a heck of a coach. I think you have a good heart. I think you think you're doing the right thing, but I'm watching a program in a little bit of trouble and I know you're embarrassed by it, and I'm going, "Does he really not see how he's affecting this?"

-          That's your opinion, and that's what you get paid to spew out, so, that's fine.

-          And, uh, as it comes to this stuff, and what's recently gone on, you said today that you're embarrassed by it. Is there, is there a message that you're sending to the team that the public's not getting?

-          I don't know what the public gets, and I don't speak for the public, but I speak for this team, and I think our players understand that if they cross the line, and they make a mistake, that they're going to be punished. So, I don't know, and I guess my question is to you, is, "What part does that not make sense?" I suspended a running back, a star running back, for eight games. The NCAA rule is one. I kicked two kids off the team, three kids off the team now, because they failed to follow team rules. So, where, what part of that doesn't make sense? Or what part of that do you think our players think that they're allowed to get away with that?

-          Well, it seems, it, the appearance to outsiders is that there are, there are double standards, that the discipline isn't consistent, and -

-          What -- What part --  Explain that.

-          I will use the example of your linebacker, who gets a DUI over the weekend. You come out on Friday night, you say my guys understand the expectations. 2AM on Saturday, he gets the DUI, he's charged.  You, uh, you do whatever investigation or diligence that you need to do, you've now suspended him for the 2010 season. That makes sense to me.

-          Okay.

-          That makes sense to me. On the other hand, you've got a running back LaMichael James, same case, he's charged, he's arrested, spends the night in jail, and you say, "Not gonna suspend this guy, I don't' know all the facts yet", and it seems inconsistent that one guy, on the one hand your linebacker he hasn't been convicted he's just been charged he's been suspended for the season, but your running back hasn't been suspended at all not even pending the investigation.

-          When a player gets in trouble John, I meet with them, and they tell me what went went on or what didn't go on. So I act upon what they told me to go on, and in certain situations I cant comment on the specific situation. I haven't rendered a decision. It doesn't mean I'm not doing anything, it means I'm waiting to get all the facts. In the United States of America it would be prudent to get all the facts.

-          See, that's where..

-          That's your opinion

-          .. that's where we disagree, because..

-           If I'm gonna punish a player..okay?  I had a player last season get arrested. Two days later they said there's no charges and he never shoulda been arrested. Where's the justice due there?

-          Well, it's not about justice, because you yourself would say it's a privilege and honor to wear the uniform at Oregon. This isn't a right under the constitution for these guys to wear the uniform, and I think I'm getting caught up with...

-         ... What uniform is, here's my question to you, what uniform is LaMichael James wearing right now? He's not in uniform. He's not with our football program right now. He's not doing anything.

-          What would the harm be in suspending him?

-          The harm is, I believe my player.

-          Okay.

-          So when this thing comes out, then let it come out. So what is the harm, you think I'm gonna symbolically make decisions because I wanna please John Canzano?

-          No, but I think your players are watching..

-          When this whole thing shakes itself out, when the final truth comes out, put me on the air again, and then you apologize.

-          What would I apologize for? For having expectations of your program that your players wouldn't be being arrested, wouldn't be out getting DUIs, wouldn't be getting accused of theft -

-          My point in all of this, John, is would you please let all the facts come out on every individual case? And when I've made a decision on the case, it's because after being with the players I know what's going on.
There are certain situations where I don't have all the information. I'm not privy to the investigation, I'm not a police investigator, I can't get both sides of the story, but for me right now and if it is symbolic to you, LaMichael James is not participating in this football program. LaMichael James is not doing anything except tyring to get himself out of the trouble that he's in right now, and making sure everything's done the proper way. But he's not participating in games. If we had a game right now I could suspend him. What am I going to suspend him from? If you want a symbolic..

-          It's not symbolic! LaMichael James has been charged by the D.A. The police and the D.A. obviously feel there's enough there to bring charges. Are you saying he's been falsely accused?

-          I'm not saying anything. I'm not commenting on a specific case. I've told you that every time.

-          Here's where I think you're missing it and I know that I think you're doing the right thing and why I respect you and think you're a good coach. I think you're missing the message that you send to boosters, the message that you send to 50 or 70 other guys, that are players or recruits -- The rest of the country is watching, and they're going "At Oregon if you get arrested for a DUI or you embarrass the coach on Facebook you're gone, but -"

-          John, here's my point before you go any farther. Do me a favor. Get your facts straight before you start making accusations.

-          What's the accusation?

-          If a player's let go from a football program, it's because - I don't get into specifics, but if you think that one player's gone because he said something on Facebook, that's not the case.

-          Do you think that your comment in the Oregonian about "you guys are smart enough to figure that out" had anything to do with people reasonably -

-          John, your newspaper is what is truth and what is not truth. There's a comment made today, on the show you were on. Bob Ley asked me if I wanted LaMichael James to be with James Harris, and I said no. And I read your newspaper when I get back to my office, saying that I deny that he was with James Harris. That's false, I never denied that he went home with James Harris. The question to me was that I wanted him to go with James Harris. I did not have any weight in anything that happened with LaMichael James, but your newspaper erroneously reports that I denied that he was with James Harris. I never denied it. Watch the tape. I watched the tape.

-          I can't speak to that. What I'm going for is..

-          When I'm asked a question about something, if a player did something wrong, if a player had a post on FB, and is off the team, there may have been something besides that.

-          I absolutely agree, I know the individual involved.

-          But your point is, you think I just boot the kid off the team -

-          It seems you're selectively disciplining people.

-          I'm not selectively disciplining people.

-          Then LaMichael James has been arrested and charged with a crime and a pretty serious crime, and you're saying let the facts come out, instead of proactively saying "In my program, if you get charged with a serious crime, you're arrested, you're going to be suspended pending the investigation." I'm not saying kick him out of the program, not saying take away his scholarship, not saying abandon him. Send a message to your guys saying this isn't tolerated. Because that message right now, Coach, I know you think it's there. It's not there. It's not there.

-          John, drawing on your analogy, you believe my players have gone out and gotten in trouble because I didn't suspend LaMichael James?

-          I think your players right now don't have any semblance of what is expected of them.

-          I asked a question. I asked, do you think the players in this program are going out and getting in trouble because I didn't suspend LaMichael James?

-          I think the players in your program are confused about discipline. I've covered Jerry Tarkanian s programs, you have the same problems that Tark had, and Tark you know, I didn't respect Tark.

-          That's not fair.

-          It's absolutely fair! You have the same, I was there, I covered Tark's teams, you have the same problem there was no consequence when a guy got in trouble, it was "Let the facts come out, hold on, maybe the police were wrong."  Come on, give me a break, coach.

-          Whoa, whoa, John, John, John - I didn't say that, I've never said that, I've never said the police were wrong, don't put words in my mouth.

-          What are you saying about LaMichael James? The police get it right or wrong?

-          I don't have all the facts.

-          (dead silence, 10 secs)

-          But what about, OK, what about - so -

-          Do you have all the facts?

-          The DUI that happens on Saturday -

-          I have all the facts.

-          He hasn't been convicted? He's not entitled to justice, his day in court?

-          I have all the facts.

-          (dead silence, 10 secs)

-          Coach, I think you're missing it.

-          That's your opinion and that's fine, but my point to you is, you just said you think our players [believe] there's no consequences for punishment. I suspended a running back for 8 games. I have let 3 players go from our team. So where do you say that there's been no punishment? I don't get it. You skip over this because that's not the genius of your argument.

-          That's not true.

-          Have three players been suspended from this football team, John?

-          Four have.

-          Ok.

-          When you go back to last season when you suspended Blount I think you got wrong. I said I respected you but you got that wrong, I said I hoped you were right. I said I think you sent a message to your guys with the suspension and reinstatement of Blount that, you know what, if you can play football at Oregon and I may need you at some point, then you do have the ability to rehabilitate yourself.
But there are kids such as Garret Embry and such as the LB that you decided after the DUI that he was suspended after the 2010 season, that may not have helped you, that are absolutely being disciplined, I can see that very clearly. And you can hold those guys up. But when you have a running back who is charged and spends a night in jail, and the DA says I have enough here to bring charges against LaMichael James..

-          Uh huh

-          Who spends a night in jail and you say to the public and to the team "I need to see more facts" - more facts than the police? More than the D.A.? It sounds hollow to me, coach, that you're saying I'm gonna hold this up as a disciplined program where guys know the expectations, and you come out on a Friday night and say guys know what is expected of them, and a linebacker goes out on Saturday.. is there anything inside your head, is there any part of you that goes "Maybe I'm not sending the message, if a guy 4 hrs later after I go public with this goes out, gets caught drinking and driving. Maybe I'm not sending a message." Any part of that ring to you?

-          That does ring to me. When any of our players get in trouble, I wonder what message I'm sending. But if you believe our players get in trouble because they saw Blount get reinstated last season, I think you're making excuses for our players. They know the difference between right and wrong, and if they cross that line they're gonna pay the price. And in every instance I've been consistent. I've gotten to all the information that I have.  Once I have the information, then I make a decision. All I'm saying with LaMichael James is, can you please let me get all the facts straight, and then judge me on what the punishment is?

-          What is the harm in suspending him pending the outcome of the investigation?

-          Okay.. okay, then my point to you is, what am I suspending him from?

-          You're sending a message saying "if you're arrested for a serious crime in my program you're going to be suspended while I investigate."

-          That's a valid point on your part. But if you think our players are doing something wrong post-LaMichael James because he hasn't been suspended yet, then I think you're just making an excuse. If player A goes out after everything that's happened here and gets in trouble then he's gonna get punished and our players know that, and our players have been punished, and they will continue to be punished when they cross the line.

-          I think..

-          The one thing I do and I've always said, John, is please let me get all the facts. I don't have all the facts. Then I'll make a decision.

-          I think we agree on this. The guys who go out and get in trouble.. poor judgment on their part. I do also think in the back of your head, and you're a guy who's played on teams, I've played on teams.. if, if you know that the coach is sitting up over behind and is holding your playing time and holding your future, and you know the playing time of LaMichael James and every other player on the team is precious to those guys, that -

-          John..

-          That's what you've got on them. Hold on, if you know there's accountability there, if I screw up, I'm going to lose this..

-          Uh huh.

-          You think twice. You act differently.

-          My question to you: Are you making excuses for players who are getting in trouble because I haven't suspended LaMichael James?

-          Coach,

-          And my other -

-          I've been in six markets, I've covered bob knight to jerry tarkanian, very dramatically different guys when it comes to disciploines. Probably extremes both ways. You know what? There's something in the middle that works for everyone, I think we're watching you, you're a  young head coach, you're in charge of the program now, and I think you're getting it, like, and I really think you think you're doing the right thing but I think you're wrong.

-          You think I'm wrong, but you don't know all the facts. That's the problem. You sit up in your throne in Portland and make decisions, and you don't know what's going on. I'm privy to information that you're not privy to.

-          I've talked to a lot more people than you know.

-          Who did you talk to then?

-          I'm not going to share it on the air, I've talked to investigators, I've talked to the Eugene police department, I've talked to people involved in the LaMichael James situation.

-          OK

-          I've talked to people in your office, for crying out loud! There are people inside your football program who don't agree with what you're doing. And that's always gonna be true. There are people inside this radio station that don't agree with what I do. -

-          You talked to people in our football program, John?

-          Yes there are.

-          In our football program?

-          And your athletic department who disagree with the handling of discipline.

-          In our football program there are people who don't agree?

-          Yes.

-          I would beg to differ with that.

-          We can agree on these things. Number one, the guys who get in trouble, idiotic moves by some of these guys, to cause harm on themselves. Number two, I think we can agree that we'd love to see this stop, like I would love to just be talking about the Rose Bowl, and what a great year you guys are gonna have, and what a bright future it is. How do we get to that point? Where this stuff stops? Because you have a cluster of activity. At what point does it stop, and how do we get there?

-          You know I think we continue to educate these players every day, when the day is all done...

-          .. because I hear...

-          And when they cross that line, they know. And you know what? I would love for you to interview any single one of the players on my current football team right now, and ask them about the discipline that's meted out every day, before you make assumptions.

-          I have.

-          You have? Who have you asked?

-          After the Jamere Holland thing the guys are scared out of their minds, Chip.

-          Who?

-          They're scared out of their minds.

-          Why can't you tell me who? Why can't you put the players on the air with me?

-          Because the guys won't come on the air. Theyr'e afraid of you after the Jamere Holland thing. Jamere Holland, what, do you think he's the only guy on the team who disagrees with the handling of your discipline?

-          No, I don't think that, John. I know when we have 105 players on the team..

-          You're gonna have 20, 30 guys who say he doesn't know what he's doing.

-           You think there's 20 or 30 guys? Or are you just throwing numbers out there to sensationalize everything?

-    No. Coach..

-          John, answer my question. There's 20 or 30 guys?

-          I think in your team you have 20 or 30 guys that think "hey, Coach, who knows what he's doing with discipline?"

-          I disagree.

-          You disagree with anybody in the athletic department?

-          No I don't disagree with that. I disagree with your statement. Don't try to put my statements into other things. I disagree with you that 20 to 30 players on my team don't believe I have discipline... I didn't play a player this year in a game because he didn't go to class. He didn't go to class that week, he didn't play that week. Against the #6 ranked team in the country. You think that's not discipline? Because I don't come out and publicly embarrass that player so that I can make John Canzano happy -

-          You're not making me happy right now. I wanna be talking about the Blazers, your recruiting class, the future, but the problem is you've had a cluster of activity -

-          I disagree with that, because I think you love doing this.

-          No. I don't love doing it and I realy feel like, what I wish, that this cluster of activity -

-          I would too.

-          Come on.

-          That's the one thing we're in agreement on.

-          When the fraternity guys accused Masoli, what did I write in the paper? You know.

-          I don't know.

-          You know what I wrote, I wrote that for Masoli it wasn't fair for the frat guys to come out and do this, there's been a cluster of activity at this frat house the last two years. Look at how many times the police have been here. I think that was a very fair column to write about your starting quarterback who is being accused of a crime. I think it's a very fair point to make. You know what I loved about covering Bob Knight's program, I saw a guy with accountability, who set standards and had expectations for his players. And I think it took a long time for his career to get to that point. Then I went to Tark, and I watched Tark make excuses for his players, have confusion over discipline, have double standards for guys who could play and couldn't play and I'm seeing some of that with you. It's early, but some of that.

-          John, no, no, no. Go back because one thing with you is you just make statements that's not - Where have I ever had confusion over disciplining a player?

-          I just told you at the beginning of the conversation that you've got a guy with a DUI that's suspended for 2010. Why not suspend LaMichael James? And you say "Because the facts haven't come out."

-          Because I don't have all the facts.

-          Because -- Forget that he's been arrested, forget that the D.A. has enough facts, Chip Kelly has doesn't have enough facts, so what, he's OK, he's OK until I do? I mean, it sends a terrible message and a terrible double standard and I think the public is watching.

-          That's your opinion.

-          OK.

-          When I get all the facts I will make a decision, and when I make a decision you'll see what the punishment is, and the punishment will fit the crime.

-          I appreciate that you come on here, it does say a lot to me and I meant what I said at the beginning. I'm conflicted because you and I said from the beginning, let's have our own relationship, let's get off on the right foot, even though I disagreed with the handling of Blount that you had the stones to come out and say I've changed my mind on him, and I hope that you got that right. I still think you're the right guy for the job. I'm just disappointed in the same things that you're disappointed in and I see this as a symptom instead of the problem. I think that's our fundamental difference.

-          The fundamental difference is that I really believe that, if you look at those things and you look at it that way, I really believe you're making excuses for getting in trouble. If you really believe that a player is doing something wrong because somebody else hasn't been suspended yet, then I think that's the wrong approach. All players know the difference between right and wrong. And if they don't do it the right way, then they're not gonna play here. I don't care that the kids comes in here and says "Well, you haven't suspended him!" Really, that's why you decided to break the law because in the back of your mind you thought this kid hadn't been suspended yet?
You ask the players on our team, and I told you, go interview them, and there's not 20 to 30. More kids think I'm too harsh on this football team than not harsh enough.

-          I've written about you, and your character and your upbringing and your parents, and I know that you know you were raised the right way. And there's expectations from your parents that you knew if you got arrested or got in trouble as a kid you're gonna be in more trouble at home than you're gonna be with the law. I don't think your players have that same expectation.

-          The point you keep missing, and you gloss over, is that 4 players have been disciplined. And the 5th player hasn't until I get all the facts. But you also know what I know about my parents, John? It's that if I got arrested they wouldn't punish me until they found out all the facts. That's why I respect my mom and dad, because they wouldn't rush to judgment, they wouldn't come down and pick me up atht he police station and say "You've been arrested, you're suspended, you're never get to go out." They would at least allow the facts to come out before they..

-          So that next night, you'd be saying "go out with your friends and hang out again?" My parents would have grounded me, said "you're staying home, you can tell us about it while you're home."

-          You know why, John? Maybe your parents didn't believe in you.

-          Well, maybe you're right. Chip Kelly, thank you for coming on.

-          Thanks.