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ATQ Clownzano question contest sponsored by axemen23


I am going to the JEA/NSPA national high school journalism convention in portland. John Clownzano is one of speakers during the 3 day convention. You may submit one question that I should ask him at the conference, and then I will pick the final 5 and put it to an atq vote via poll. Have fun kiddies!

 

*note that I will have to make it a PG version of whatever you ask. I'd rather not get kicked out.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.

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What is your opinion on the contrasting styles used by the Oregonian and the Register Guard during the frat house theft allegations?

--AddictedToQuack, SBNation's Oregon Ducks blog

by jtlight on Feb 9, 2010 12:13 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

see this is one i can possibly use.

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 9, 2010 12:21 PM PST up reply actions  

Question: Fuck you Canzano!

What, you think I care if you get thrown out?

Okay okay, how about this: Does the wax you use on your head hinder your dynamic processing?

by JonathanPDX on Feb 9, 2010 12:14 PM PST reply actions  

Try and clean this one up why don't ya....

Mr. Canzano, you’re an asshat!

Ducks stackin' wins like Leggos, toastin Pac-10 like the Eggos, like we're racin' against some preggos, Dan Patrick we enfuego.

by PacBellBoozer on Feb 9, 2010 12:16 PM PST reply actions  

this is not.

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 9, 2010 12:21 PM PST up reply actions  

Should a columnist be held—or hold himself—to the same standards as reporters, or is it part of a columnist’s gig to deal in rumor and innuendo specifically because he isn’t bound by rules like, for instance, multiple confirmed sources?

by grimc on Feb 9, 2010 12:27 PM PST reply actions  

Actually, the first part of that is a great question for Canzano.

“Should a columnist be held—or hold himself—to the same standards as reporters?”

The second half is great too, but I would be interested to hear what he had to say if you asked him this.

CKTK: A music blog. We write about what we want to write about.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they would get. But, if you work hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

by Mr. Knox on Feb 9, 2010 7:37 PM PST up reply actions  

Do you like bread?

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 9, 2010 1:05 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

John,

You like apples?

I'm going to the beach to bury metal objects that I've written "Get a Life" on.
Addicted to Quack

by Matt Daddy on Feb 9, 2010 1:43 PM PST up reply actions  

Well I’m writing a Tako Tuesday. How do you like them apples?!?

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 9, 2010 1:45 PM PST up reply actions  

John,

I chose buisness ethics.

I'm going to the beach to bury metal objects that I've written "Get a Life" on.
Addicted to Quack

by Matt Daddy on Feb 9, 2010 2:17 PM PST up reply actions  

Matt Daddy,

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Love, John

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 9, 2010 2:21 PM PST up reply actions  

you really think out of all these questions you’re going to find 5 good one?

I'm going to the beach to bury metal objects that I've written "Get a Life" on.
Addicted to Quack

by Matt Daddy on Feb 9, 2010 11:39 PM PST up reply actions  

I can come up with 5 good ones all by myself!

by JonathanPDX on Feb 9, 2010 11:45 PM PST up reply actions  

i've found 3 so far.

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 10, 2010 9:57 AM PST up reply actions  

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Variation: “Did you always aspire to be a terrible, one-sided, pessimistic, talentless writer when you were a kid?”

May we hand you your taints on a silver platter...

by 071903 on Feb 9, 2010 1:44 PM PST reply actions  

Variation: “What do you want to be if and when you ever grow up?”

CKTK: A music blog. We write about what we want to write about.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they would get. But, if you work hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

by Mr. Knox on Feb 9, 2010 7:22 PM PST up reply actions  

When you make up your stories do you use the dartboard method, or hoist them out of your own ass with a rusty chain pull?

by JonathanPDX on Feb 9, 2010 1:56 PM PST reply actions  

What are thoughts on how globalization has impacted countries on many levels, including the areas of media and journalism. Debates have been raging about the perceived homogenizing influence of the global media industry on local identities, cultures, and ideologies. Also, recent trends toward international concentration of mass media ownership, deregulation and privatization of national cultural industries, and new alliances between transnational media corporations and complacent governments, and how they have led to the consolidation of market-driven journalism.

I'm going to the beach to bury metal objects that I've written "Get a Life" on.
Addicted to Quack

by Matt Daddy on Feb 9, 2010 2:22 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

PS: You’re a tool.

by JonathanPDX on Feb 9, 2010 2:26 PM PST up reply actions  

He’s looking for “questions”, not “lots of big words in a row”.

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 9, 2010 2:27 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Maybe the question we should ask is: does Axemen have the lung capacity to filibuster in the form of a question?

by JonathanPDX on Feb 9, 2010 2:36 PM PST up reply actions  

Ask him why he sucks so bad

"We will not settle for average, we will strive for greatness." Chip Kelly

by Duck_In_NC on Feb 9, 2010 2:50 PM PST reply actions  

My question

What shaving product do you use on your bald headed dome?

by MurphyLPiddleton on Feb 9, 2010 2:50 PM PST reply actions  

One time in band journalism camp…

LaMichael James + Kenjon Barner + Lache Seastrunk + Dontae Williams + Josh Huff + Keanon Lowe + Remene Alston +...

by CaDuck on Feb 9, 2010 4:21 PM PST reply actions  

touche :D

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 9, 2010 4:48 PM PST up reply actions  

“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool opotamus?”

CKTK: A music blog. We write about what we want to write about.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they would get. But, if you work hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

by Mr. Knox on Feb 9, 2010 7:30 PM PST reply actions  

Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?

Ducks stackin' wins like Leggos, toastin Pac-10 like the Eggos, like we're racin' against some preggos, Dan Patrick we enfuego.

by PacBellBoozer on Feb 9, 2010 11:21 PM PST up reply actions  

What kind of a rapping name is Steve?

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 10, 2010 12:54 AM PST up reply actions  

HEY!!!

Watch it buddy!

LaMichael James + Kenjon Barner + Lache Seastrunk + Dontae Williams + Josh Huff + Keanon Lowe + Remene Alston +...

by CaDuck on Feb 10, 2010 7:16 AM PST up reply actions  

Dear John,

I’ve heard there are doctors that can help remove that stick from your ass, have you looked into this?

s-panic = σ – ⅓ (σx+σy+σz) I­­­­­­­­

by Bill Musgrave on Feb 9, 2010 8:14 PM PST reply actions  

Well,

Rather than a stick, I actually heard a rumor that it was a Beaver. Just sayin…

Okay, that was brutal. Please peta, don’t attack my home.

LaMichael James + Kenjon Barner + Lache Seastrunk + Dontae Williams + Josh Huff + Keanon Lowe + Remene Alston +...

by CaDuck on Feb 9, 2010 8:49 PM PST up reply actions  

that would be wonderful

except I think he gets some sick pleasure out of that.

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 9, 2010 9:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Mr Canzano, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber
for having listened to it. I award you no points,
and may God have mercy on your soul.

by coolconman on Feb 9, 2010 10:05 PM PST reply actions  

Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.

Ducks stackin' wins like Leggos, toastin Pac-10 like the Eggos, like we're racin' against some preggos, Dan Patrick we enfuego.

by PacBellBoozer on Feb 9, 2010 11:25 PM PST up reply actions  

Stop looking at me, swan!

It's spelled "R-E-D-V-I-N-E-S"

I support Roger Kieschnick in his quest to becoming the best Kieschnick ever to play professional baseball.

Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Feb 10, 2010 12:55 AM PST up reply actions  

Nice in going to the convention.

My high school goes every other year, We voted on rather going to LA than Portland.

Only losing THREE starters from the USC game. (Offense and Defense)
Ladies and Gentlemen your 2010-11 Oregon Ducks.

by QuackQuackAttack on Feb 10, 2010 5:54 AM PST reply actions  

Taking a cue from The Office:

1) “Why are you the way you are?”

2) “What gives you the right?”

3) “How dare you?”

The "O" stands for "Oh dear god, when does football season start again?"

by ProbablyMonty on Feb 10, 2010 8:18 AM PST reply actions  

My actual suggestion

“Mr. Canzano, regarding your suggestion that Oregon would have a hard time finding 6 wins in its schedule, what exactly does a humble pie taste like when the crow is baked directly into it?”

The "O" stands for "Oh dear god, when does football season start again?"

by ProbablyMonty on Feb 10, 2010 8:19 AM PST up reply actions   2 recs

This, sir, is rectastic.

s-panic = σ – ⅓ (σx+σy+σz) I­­­­­­­­

by Bill Musgrave on Feb 10, 2010 10:39 PM PST up reply actions  

"Do you recognize the similarity to the taste of your own foot?"

CKTK: A music blog. We write about what we want to write about.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they would get. But, if you work hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

by Mr. Knox on Feb 11, 2010 4:48 PM PST up reply actions  

that would be fun.

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 10, 2010 9:59 AM PST up reply actions  

I hate so much the things you choose to be.

CKTK: A music blog. We write about what we want to write about.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality, and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they would get. But, if you work hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will happen."
-Conan O'Brien

by Mr. Knox on Feb 10, 2010 6:11 PM PST up reply actions  

Question

Have you found that accuracy in reporting is helpful or is it more helpful to say something so wrong it generates controversy and rage?

by Andomania on Feb 10, 2010 8:33 AM PST reply actions  

Mr. Canzano, I’ve been having some digestive problems. Given how far your head has been shoved up your ass, can you tell me how the descending colon works? Thank you.

Defending maligned chants since 2009

by Gorbachav5 on Feb 10, 2010 9:20 AM PST reply actions  

that would be a good one. Follow Jared's for example. its a good question with the underlying potshot

he’ll have to answer it while i give him the “yeah i’ve got you by the balls” look

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 10, 2010 9:59 AM PST up reply actions  

Serious question

What is it like covering a major sporting event, like the Super Bowl?

"Good evening Blazer fans, wherever you may be!"-Bill Schonely

by skywaker9 on Feb 10, 2010 9:35 AM PST reply actions  

Straight from the book of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman'...

Preamble: “I’m asking the fucking questions here. Do you understand? Are you shook up? Are you nervous? Do I make you nervous? Were you about to call me an asshole?”

First: "Basic Military Journalism… You gotta be shittin’ me, Canzano. You think you’re Mickey Spillane? You think you’re some kind of a fuckin’ writer? "

Second one comes in two parts: “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn’t Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?”

May we hand you your taints on a silver platter...

by 071903 on Feb 10, 2010 11:19 AM PST reply actions  

"Hey! Wanna see me without my jersey?"

Life is a sport: Watch other people play it.

by Al Orange on Feb 10, 2010 1:49 PM PST reply actions  

hey he returns!

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 10, 2010 4:09 PM PST up reply actions  

He lives in Canada or something.

But this seems early to awake from hibernation. Canadians hibernate, right?

LaMichael James + Kenjon Barner + Lache Seastrunk + Dontae Williams + Josh Huff + Keanon Lowe + Remene Alston +...

by CaDuck on Feb 10, 2010 5:28 PM PST up reply actions  

Al is like Norm from Cheers. Every time he walks into a thread we all need to shout AL!

I'm going to the beach to bury metal objects that I've written "Get a Life" on.
Addicted to Quack

by Matt Daddy on Feb 10, 2010 6:06 PM PST up reply actions  

No, let's not do that.

My apologies for my absence. It’s nice to be missed! But it’s been busy musically: 10 performances and 15 rehearsals in the past 30 days. And yeah, it’s REALLY COLD up here. The virus that toasted my computer last week provided most of Ontario’s heating requirements. Yesterday I saw a polar bear, frozen to death in the middle of the main street, little paws sticking up.

Is it football season yet?

Life is a sport: Watch other people play it.

by Al Orange on Feb 14, 2010 4:52 AM PST up reply actions  

201 days?

Proud winner of the 2009 ATQ Jersey Contest

by axemen23 on Feb 14, 2010 10:11 AM PST up reply actions  

Hey! It's Al!

LaMichael James + Kenjon Barner + Lache Seastrunk + Dontae Williams + Josh Huff + Keanon Lowe + Remene Alston +...

by CaDuck on Feb 14, 2010 3:13 PM PST up reply actions  

AL!

Yesterday I saw a polar bear, frozen to death in the middle of the main street, little paws sticking up.

I told you guys, the Polar Bears make sense!

its spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-N-O-B-A-L-L-S"

by JShufelt on Feb 15, 2010 8:11 AM PST up reply actions  

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