Tako Tuesdays: Art Show
by Takimoto on Mar 9, 2010 12:15 AM PST
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PrintFirst of all, great work with the suggestions. Rather than copy your suggestions verbatim, I used them as a starting point for my thinking. That way, I can take full credit for your idea ;) The art gallery after the jump.
Matt Daddy's idea for a TP shot selection chart meshed perfectly with an idea I was already working on. I was wondering what goes through TP's head when he'd out on the court. In honor of that, I've drawn up the three plays that Tajuan Porter runs when he has the ball in his hands.
Simple, refined, about 30% successful. Let's continue!
My personal favorite. Did Tajuan ever make a layup like this? Even once?
What an offensive gameplan. Simply stunning.
I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't take a shot at John Canzano, right? Well, here ya go...
It's a miracle that the old curmudgeons even know how to use the Internet, but here's a look into their lives.
Here's a sneak preview of the new movie I'm producing.
Lastly, here are two pictures almost as cryptic as Lost. Post captions/descriptions in the comments section.
Enjoy, and feel free to post your own ideas as well. This is a no Photoshop zone! I want art so lowbrow it becomes highbrow, technology be damned.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.
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Those are prtty satanic fingers you and EK have.
I mean, up-side down crosses as fingers, thats metal.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
That's funny, I'm making a movie too
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
by Matt Daddy on Mar 9, 2010 2:38 AM PST reply actions 3 recs
Is it just me, or do your basketball courts look like 2 penises facing a ball?
by SiriusBlack on Mar 9, 2010 5:43 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Well then,
This thread already turned homoerotic. That didn’t take long.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
Yeah, that was the first thing I noticed as well. I’m not sure what that says about us as a community.
Can we get a ruling from one of our female readers? Innocent MS Paint basketball key? Or GIANT DONG?
Defending maligned chants since 2009
Let's get the truth right out there:
Tako Tuesdays has really been a series of subliminal advertisements for free boner pills.
by HoodRiverDuck on Mar 9, 2010 2:38 PM PST up reply actions
It also doesn’t help that the word ‘shoot’ is right there at the tip.
by HoodRiverDuck on Mar 9, 2010 2:39 PM PST up reply actions
As soon as I started drawing, my thought was, “damnit, all anybody is gonna see is a couple penises.”
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
I know he's been our whipping boy for a while now,
but I nearly spit my coffee out laughing at the look on Canzano’s face and his body posture in the Christmas pic.
My favorite part was, “I wish I had a daughter”
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
I liked the fact that there were no presents under the Christmas tree. Subtle, but poignant.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
I’m glad someone caught that. At first, it was just because I’m lazy, but then I realized it’s actually clever.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
Tajuan Porter (seat 17F) takes a three pointer from somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
by Gorbachav5 on Mar 9, 2010 8:15 AM PST reply actions 3 recs
i laughed out loud
While sitting at a spanish car wash in the middle of two other customers as our vehicles were getting washed
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." - Demetri Martin
by haveasoda on Mar 9, 2010 9:22 AM PST via mobile up reply actions
Soon after returning to duty, Captain Sully Sullenberger encounters an errant 3-point shot by Tajuan Porter, and has to do an emergency landing amazon creek. Miraculously, nobody was killed.
Innocent until proven guilty.
En route to the PAC-10 tournament, the lady seated behind the Ducks basketball team gives her screaming son a time out. As soon as the time out is over, Tajuan Porter launches up a 3.
the funny thing is
at this point he has to have made one of these shots, according to his 3 pt avg.
Innocent until proven guilty.
The passengers of Oceanic Flight 815 were privy to where Porter lost his jump shot.
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 10, 2010 7:21 PM PST up reply actions
John Canzano’s patented three step writing process.
Step 1: (Pictured above)
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit
Defending maligned chants since 2009
How about...
Canzano sucks so much, he could suck the paint off of Autzen’s floors
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
I could have also gone with:
Axemen thought that drinking toxic waste and Capri Sun would turn him into SuperDuck.
He was mistaken.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
I prefer the classic line from the Kubrick classic, slightly modified.
He sucks so much he can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
New mystery drawing!
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
That’s easy. Ernie Kent’s double secret play to get Porter a wide open three
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
by Matt Daddy on Mar 9, 2010 9:38 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
I call it:
The Taste of Red Vines
Defending maligned chants since 2009
by Gorbachav5 on Mar 9, 2010 9:45 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines =
Crazy Delicious!!
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." - Demetri Martin
by haveasoda on Mar 9, 2010 6:54 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
There has got to be a peen in there somewhere.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
The result of eating Twizzlers instead of the far superior Red Vines.
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 10:54 AM PST reply actions
They change color in your stomach. That’s how fucked up Twizzlers are. Theyre not only bad, but bad for you.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
This is true.
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 3:26 PM PST up reply actions
More like the thought of eating Twizzlers instead of Red Vines.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
I'd like to point out a factual inaccuracy.
Canzano’s parents DID have a daughter…her name is John Canzano
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 3:40 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Here is what I was thinking for TP's shot selection chart
Porter with the Keloid
Porter without the Keloid
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
Yep.
Removal of the magical keloid of magic was the worst thing that ever happened.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
Are keloids the skin things black people get?
Random guess there
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 4:00 PM PST up reply actions
Holy hell, you are from Tennessee aren’t you…
/shaking my head as I walk away
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
:(
I swear, I thought that was it.
Sorry for pulling a huge axemen..
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
Wow.
You axemen’d it with that comment.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
Dude we had some people tell us at school that black people are more susceptible to keloids. I swear.
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
That's what happens when you go to a school where inbreeding runs rampant.
Which is why I refused to move with my parents if my dad was stationed in Kentucky. Thank god he wasn’t.
Only losing THREE starters from the USC game. (Offense and Defense)
Ladies and Gentlemen your 2010-11 Oregon Ducks.
Oregon-Frontrunners for the 2010 Fulmer Cup
by QuackQuackAttack on Mar 9, 2010 4:12 PM PST up reply actions
I have a keloid and not black
though they are more common in black people. But its basically when you get a scar and it decides to go crazy and grow really big. The darker the skin you have, the more likely you are to get a keloid.
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog
There you have it, TennesseeQAttack is not porn!
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 9, 2010 4:38 PM PST up reply actions
I disagree.
Referring to a keloid as “one of those skin things black people get” is still pretty porn.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
The phrasing was porn, but the origin of the reasoning was not Axemen.
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 9, 2010 4:48 PM PST up reply actions
I apologize. I was tired and had just arrived home from baseball. After having some food and ibuprofen, I feel better. I apologize for my awful comment.
(I KNEW THEY WERE MORE COMMON IN BLACK PEOPLE, A-HOLES! COMPARE ME TO AXEMEN AGAIN, I DARE YOU.)
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 4:53 PM PST up reply actions
Um...Hell no.
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 5:00 PM PST up reply actions
Are you related to Axemen?
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 10, 2010 12:48 AM PST up reply actions
TennesseeQuackAttack8 = axemen23
Well Canzano, maybe your parents didn’t believe in you.
Addicted to Quack
Matt Daddy = porn.
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 5:10 PM PST up reply actions
My opinion = John Mayer + Jessica Simpson= Sexual Napalm
Did you know that playing in the SEC makes your football team inherently better than everyone else's?
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Mar 9, 2010 5:14 PM PST up reply actions
I gotta tell you,
if some random football fan wandered onto this thread, they’d think we were a bunch of deranged retard.
And, of course, they’d be right.
by HoodRiverDuck on Mar 9, 2010 5:25 PM PST up reply actions
I simply will not stand for being called deranged.
I am of retard, yes, but deranged? You better not go there.
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 10, 2010 12:49 AM PST up reply actions
You have it all wrong.
When talking about Paris Hilton, you have to mention Matt Leinart, not Sanchez.
This off-season officially sucks for FIVE reasons and counting...
With Paris Hilton, Cleveland Steamer seems more appropriate than Dirty Sanchez.
everything is history, eventually.
I think Brady Quinn just got a new nickname.
by HoodRiverDuck on Mar 9, 2010 9:58 PM PST up reply actions
or just on quack
"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything." - Demetri Martin
by haveasoda on Mar 9, 2010 6:58 PM PST via mobile reply actions
How dare you belittle my art?!?! And yes, that’s what it looks like.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
Interesting
That’s also the name for Ernie Kent’s offensive game plan.
by HoodRiverDuck on Mar 9, 2010 11:44 PM PST up reply actions
Hiring Process
AD Mike Bellotti says Oregon needs to move beyond hiring coaches who merely bleed green and yellow.
everything is history, eventually.
the series continues..
everything is history, eventually.
by benzduck on Mar 9, 2010 10:31 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Neither can you since I busted up my leg and killed your chances at financial freedom.
My parents don't believe in Canzano either.
by Bill Musgrave on Mar 10, 2010 12:53 AM PST up reply actions
Hey, it's YOUR suite. That's you on the *left*.
You just invited me up as an honorable, if sadly belated, gesture of goodwill.
everything is history, eventually.
Takimoto, if you are an “author” how come this is in the fanpost section?
CGB's Jimmy Carter
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
We dont front page the DBDs. You frontpage the Tako Tuesdays.
CGB's Jimmy Carter
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
We also have way less going on on the site than you guys do. For the most part, it’s the Quack Fix and little else. Front-paging DBDs would clutter everything, but it’s not as bad here. I don’t see a reason to change it, personally.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
Firstly, why don’t you guys ratchet it up a notch. You have a whole team here. I’d be happy t be an in house consultant for a small retainer fee.
Secondly, I was mostly joking. Dont take my comments to heart.
CGB's Jimmy Carter
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I wasn’t losing sleep over it. I started writing Tako Tuesdays before I had author privileges, and I suppose I’m set in my ways.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
Tako Tuesdays tend to get comments throughout the week, so I FanPost them to keep them on the front page longer.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
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