Welcome to the Man Cave! The Takimoto Man Contingency (Takimoto, trumpetduck, Will, Boss Waffle, esause, Cameron) is here watching the draft, and I'll be updating this as interesting things happen.
Use this as the open thread for tonight. Don't use this as the open thread, use the open thread. Dave DEMANDS you use this thread as the open thread. We shouldn't see any Ducks tonight. Tebowsterbation will not be tolerated.
4:14 - So they've got a bunch of former pros here. Interesting.
4:15 - They're announcing the players in attendance.
Jahvid Best? That's optimistic of him.
Rob Gronkowski? That's optimistic of him.
Joe Haden's sideburns are so skinny, it just looks like a skid mark on his cheek.
4:18 - Not too many flashy suits. I'm disappointed, but the NBA Draft is only a couple months away. I can wait. Best dressed of the night: Sam Bradford. Dude must be going #1, he stepped his game up. Penn St's Jared Oderick is the runner-up. You can be 300 pounds and wear lavender. No one will question you.
4:22 - Have we ever been as unsure about a #1 pick as Sam Bradford? Spread QB, injury issues. Nobody seems sure, but nobody seems like he shouldn't be the #1 pick either. Kind of bizzare, if you ask me.
4:26 - Michael Smith got stuck in Cleveland. It's not because he's black. It's because he's NOT a hot chick.
4:33 - Gonna be honest, Roger Goodell is an awkward public speaker.
4:38 - First pick? Sam Bradford. Meh.
4:51 - We got a crier! The pollen count is high at Gerald McCoy's table. Has anyone ever been happier to be a Tampa Bay Buccaneer?
4:58 - Ok, wait a minute. Trent Williams' nickname is "Silverback"? Was this common knowledge? He should've been #1 based purely on that nickname!
5:06 - Group question: should the term "nothing to write home about" be taken literally? We're discussing whether salsa can be good enough to literally write home about.
5:07 - Seahawks on the clock. Whatcha doin' Petey Hollywood?
5:13 - The watch is the accessory of the draft this year. Russell Okung's watch is MASSIVE,and Gerald McCoy had TWO watches. Also, Okung's headed to Seattle. Good pick for the Seahawks.
5:17 - Russell Okung's "stand there and do something interesting" video includes him throwing elbows. Pretty sure that violates the personal conduct policy.
5:20 - What's the appeal of attending the draft? I'd just hang out at home like McCoy and Tebow are doing. You're more comfortable, the camera isn't always on you, and you could toss back a couple cold ones if you wanted.
5:23 - Joe Haden's crying. Either Urban Meyer's on the other line reading Joe the last 30 pages of "A Walk to Remember" or he's getting picked by the Browns.
5:27 - The Raiders' pick is in. Please be Jimmy Clausen, pleeeeeeease be Jimmy Clausen...
5:29 - Raiders take Rolando McClain. Wow. That's a great pick. I'm shocked.
5:31 - Bills take CJ Spiller. Meanwhile, in Oakland, Marshawn Lynch just started making plans to sell his house in Buffalo.
5:38 - First shock of the draft! Tyson Alualu to Jacksonville! Did not see that coming. Meanwhile, I'm becoming increasingly worried Jimmy Clausen is gonna be a Niner in the next half hour.
5:40 - Niners just traded up to 11. Clausen pick seems imminent.
5:44 - And the Niners take...Anthony Davis from Rutgers. I thought he'd still be there at 13, but they know things I don't. I'm always okay with offensive linemen in the first round, I just don't know why we had to give up a fourth-rounder to get him.
5:49 - Chargers are take Ryan Mathews. Good pick, kind of a reach though. Mathews also has one of the worst dance video sequences so far.
5:53 - The Broncos trade down again. Josh McDaniels making Belichick moves.
6:02 - Strangely, I'm still not sick of "Empire State of Mind". It's a great little pop song.
6:10 - Every group of friends has one guy, let's call him "The Guy Who Says Dumb Shit". That's my friend Will. Direct quote from him: (referring to Mel's Best Available) "So are those guys like the best guys left in the draft?"
6:15 - To catch you up: Brandon Graham to Philly, Earl Thomas to the Seahawks, and Jason Pierre-Paul to the Giants. With the JPP pick, we had our first Drew Rosenhaus sighting of the night! Remember when he was a big deal? Now Jason Pierre-Paul is his marquee client! How far he has fallen...
6:25 - Niners take Mike Iupati! Let's run the ball boys! I love two offensive linemen in the first round.
6:36 - Man Cave is down to four: Takimoto, trumpetduck, Will Says Dumb Shit, and Boss Waffle. Boss Waffle just came up with a game-changing idea: Carfax for Sluts. Easy women need to come with a report stating who they've slept with, copies of STI tests, and 75 words on how they feel about Heidi Montag.
6:58 - Demaryious Thomas to Denver, Bryan Bulaga to Green Bay, Takimoto's gonna go play some trumpet. Back once the draft is over for a recap.
6:59 - Dez Bryant to the Cowboys, hometown kid and really talented. Great pick. Okay, now I'm out.
End of Draft Thoughts - Tebow to Denver is surprising, but Josh McDaniels clearly has ideas as to how he will be used, and to be honest, I think he could actually end up being a good pro at QB. Jahvid Best as a complement to Kevin Smith in Detroit is nice, and I think Jerry Hughes to the Colts is a great pick at 31. Clausen and McCoy still available in the 2nd, tomorrow should be just as interesting as tonight was.