Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Lance Berkman Could Have Torn ACL

Words With Substance: Chapter 1

Now it's no secret around here that I'm a bit of a genius.  Having mastered the blog game, I felt it was best to turn my attention to bigger and better things.  I present to you, a sneak peek at my debut novel Forgetting How to Fly.  We pick up the story with our protagonist, Jeremy Mazoni, in the middle of a moral dilemma.  Keep in mind, this is 100% fiction and in no way based on actual events.

Star-divide

As he fled the fraternity house, Jeremy's mind raced, the distant cries of "Hey, stop that thief!" fading in the distance.  His pace slowed to an urgent mosey as he pondered his next move.  The wind picked up, whistling with a frank arrogance that concerned him a bit.  He decided to turn left, and continue on.  Moving east, the wind was at his back, making it easier to sprint without the bulky hindrance of the projector screen slowing his pace.  He hoped Barrett had made it out.  His place on the baseball team would not be enough to save him if he were caught.  But Jeremy was the star, the hero.  This indiscretion would be a mere afterthought, an insignificant detail easily overlooked, considering his accomplishments.   Headlights approached in the distance, but turned before Jeremy had a chance to find cover.  Continuing on down the street, he felt strangely comfortable despite his cargo of purloined goods.  As he made his way through the darkened streets he thought, this naive invincibility must only be felt by the truly criminal. 

To say that head baseball coach Skip Stare was annoyed by yet another early morning phone call would be a gross understatement, but not because of the time of day; Coach Stare usually began his day at around 4 AM for a brisk three mile run, with a light breakfast shortly thereafter.  The feeling of irritation in his chest came from who he believed to be calling.  In the recent months, run-ins with the law had been no stranger to the Mallards team.  Arrests and allegations ran the gamut from minor traffic violations to violent crimes, but in the slate-blue eyes of Coach Stare, they were all the same offense: breaking his trust.  He trudged slowly towards the telephone, as if to delay the inevitable disappointment for a brief moment.  He picked up the receiver, and braced himself...

 

On the edge of your seat, right?  Can't wait to hear more?  Well you'll just have to buy the book when it comes out.  I'm hoping to have a publisher any day now.  Otherwise, JShufelt is going to need more printer cartridges.

Poll
It's pretty good, right?
Oprah's Book Club material
64 votes
Meh.
23 votes
It's crap.
12 votes
It's double crap.
52 votes

151 votes | Poll has closed

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.

Comment 40 comments  |  3 recs  | 

Do you like this story?

Comments

Display:

Skip Stare has lost control of Tako Tuesdays?

--Dave

Addicted to Quack, your friendly, neighborhood Oregon Ducks blog

by David Piper on Jul 15, 2010 10:54 PM PDT reply actions   2 recs

I believe you mean Timmy Thursdays.

Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.

by axemen23 on Jul 16, 2010 12:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

So Tako Thursdays = Tako Tuesdays without beer, keg stickers, Fuskie bashing, or debates about Star Wars?

by JonathanPDX on Jul 16, 2010 12:34 AM PDT reply actions  

When do we get to hear about LoMicheel Jeans?

Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.

by axemen23 on Jul 16, 2010 12:42 AM PDT reply actions  

This one got a chortle out of me.

The O is the new U

by jcolomy on Jul 16, 2010 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

Um, what’s the difference between “Oprah’s Book Club material” and “double crap”?

Life is a sport: Watch other people play it.

by Al Orange on Jul 16, 2010 4:39 AM PDT reply actions  

good point

not much

Say what you mean, and say it mean. - Clint Ruin

by QuackinAK on Jul 16, 2010 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions  

Oh hey Al.

Chip Kelly is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want.

by qrsouther on Jul 16, 2010 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

Clearly Jeremy's parents are to blame.

If they had given him a biblical name, I’m thinking something along the lines Three Dog Night would name a bullfrog friend, he would certainly be more on the straight and narrow.

by AcadianTraverse on Jul 16, 2010 4:47 AM PDT via mobile reply actions  

had his parents simply believed in him all would be well.

by SiriusBlack on Jul 16, 2010 5:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

I know how this one ends.

Thank you track, baseball, softball, and golf for ending my summer hibernation.

by Bill Musgrave on Jul 16, 2010 6:57 AM PDT reply actions  

Feeling the same way about 08/09 Ducks YouTube highlight videos as you did about Seinfeld reruns for the better part of 2007?

by AcadianTraverse on Jul 16, 2010 7:27 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Is “Oprah’s Book Club material” a good thing or a bad thing?

it’s spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-A-L-I-T-T-L-E-H-O-S-T-I-L-E"

by JShufelt on Jul 16, 2010 7:28 AM PDT reply actions  

I read the preface to this one. Apparently Coach Stare’s problem started early on with LeBearrett Snout. He was practically an uncaged animal.

it’s spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-A-L-I-T-T-L-E-H-O-S-T-I-L-E"

by JShufelt on Jul 16, 2010 7:30 AM PDT reply actions  

But got his ass kicked in the Scuffle War by John Rudders.

Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.

by axemen23 on Jul 16, 2010 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

I’ve never heard of USC. But The University of California Southside (beyatch) was blown out by Mazoni on a holiday. I want to say it was National Talk Like A Pirate Day, but I could be mistaken.

by JonathanPDX on Jul 16, 2010 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

What about coach Tike Reach?

Was he ejected from his team in the void between postseason and regular season play for an unusual action that was blown way out of proportion?

by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 16, 2010 7:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

It’s Texas, and he did something you simply can’t get away with in the south. He let a player come out of the closet.

by JonathanPDX on Jul 16, 2010 8:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

I do know that Jock Licker really sucked.

--Dave

Addicted to Quack, your friendly, neighborhood Oregon Ducks blog

by David Piper on Jul 16, 2010 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Didn’t Bigotry STFU University go 1-11 after their star QB Kevin Morneau got hurt?

Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.

by axemen23 on Jul 16, 2010 11:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don't get this one.

Chip Kelly is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want.

by qrsouther on Jul 17, 2010 12:50 AM PDT up reply actions  

Brilliant work! My only question: Can one really mosey urgently? If so, I need to try it.

Defending maligned chants since 2009

by Gorbachav5 on Jul 16, 2010 8:59 AM PDT reply actions  

Is that how Mosely got his name?

"If you can't copy 'em, don't imitate ''em."
YOGI BERRA

by Famous Duck on Jul 16, 2010 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

"What was the point of even writing this? Posts like this is why this site is a laughing stock."

I hate quoting morons, but it had to be said!

Seriously, I want to read more! This story oozes mystery and originality.

May we hand you your taints on a silver platter...

by 071903 on Jul 16, 2010 10:01 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

WTF is this shit, Tako?

Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.

by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 17, 2010 10:47 PM PDT reply actions  

I just want my discussion about random things :(

Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.

by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 18, 2010 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

Clearly you didn’t read the last Tako Tuesday.

They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays

by Takimoto on Jul 18, 2010 10:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

Or, I might just be a dumbass that forgot you wrote that. Oops.

Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.

by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 19, 2010 12:12 AM PDT up reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Welcome to the Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog and fan community.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

2011-09-03_15-49-32_912_small
Weekend Preview for May 18-20
Mostinteresting_small
Tako Tuesdays: The Music Thread
Small
Better video of DAT in 100m
2011-09-03_15-49-32_912_small
Giant Sports Weekend Open Thread
Atq-spoon-5_small
Miracle Wolf Scholarship Fund: Update
La_foto_small
Spring game online?
Small
Ducks Drafted and also picked up in Free agency
2011-09-03_15-49-32_912_small
------> REVISED: ATQ Spring Game Meet-Up 2012
Dog_in_tree_small
Duck football tied to Kennedy Assassination
Small
BREAKING NEWS: EXCLUSIVE TRANSCRIPT OF INTERNAL UO INVESTIGATION INTO MARIJUANA USE BY FOOTBALL PLAYERS

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

FanShots

Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.

Recent FanShots

Here is this weeks video with plenty of discussion on the changes for the BCS.  Thanks ATQ and GO Ducks!
Anthony Bennett picks UNLV over Oregon
Chip Kelly Scared
Here is this weeks video. Thanks ATQ, GO DUCKS!
All of DAT's races from Oregon Twilight.
BRING GAMEDAY BACK TO OREGON! VOTE!!!!
Our thoughts on the Spring Game start @ 44:43.  Thanks ATQ and GO DUCKS!
Poor Darron Thomas
Masoli the Eskimo
Bullpen Bagpipes, UO edition.

+ New FanShot All FanShots >

ATQ Twitter Feed


Managers

207873_1005773153454_1498651968_14034_9616_n_small David Piper

Pre_small ntrebon

Img_0525_small jtlight

Mostinteresting_small Takimoto

Domsicecream_small dvieira

Editors

Pettingzoo_small PaulSF

Atq-spoon-5_small Matt Daddy

Authors

Ryan__rusty_small jcgoducks

Small nds500