Words With Substance: Chapter 1
Now it's no secret around here that I'm a bit of a genius. Having mastered the blog game, I felt it was best to turn my attention to bigger and better things. I present to you, a sneak peek at my debut novel Forgetting How to Fly. We pick up the story with our protagonist, Jeremy Mazoni, in the middle of a moral dilemma. Keep in mind, this is 100% fiction and in no way based on actual events.
As he fled the fraternity house, Jeremy's mind raced, the distant cries of "Hey, stop that thief!" fading in the distance. His pace slowed to an urgent mosey as he pondered his next move. The wind picked up, whistling with a frank arrogance that concerned him a bit. He decided to turn left, and continue on. Moving east, the wind was at his back, making it easier to sprint without the bulky hindrance of the projector screen slowing his pace. He hoped Barrett had made it out. His place on the baseball team would not be enough to save him if he were caught. But Jeremy was the star, the hero. This indiscretion would be a mere afterthought, an insignificant detail easily overlooked, considering his accomplishments. Headlights approached in the distance, but turned before Jeremy had a chance to find cover. Continuing on down the street, he felt strangely comfortable despite his cargo of purloined goods. As he made his way through the darkened streets he thought, this naive invincibility must only be felt by the truly criminal.
To say that head baseball coach Skip Stare was annoyed by yet another early morning phone call would be a gross understatement, but not because of the time of day; Coach Stare usually began his day at around 4 AM for a brisk three mile run, with a light breakfast shortly thereafter. The feeling of irritation in his chest came from who he believed to be calling. In the recent months, run-ins with the law had been no stranger to the Mallards team. Arrests and allegations ran the gamut from minor traffic violations to violent crimes, but in the slate-blue eyes of Coach Stare, they were all the same offense: breaking his trust. He trudged slowly towards the telephone, as if to delay the inevitable disappointment for a brief moment. He picked up the receiver, and braced himself...
On the edge of your seat, right? Can't wait to hear more? Well you'll just have to buy the book when it comes out. I'm hoping to have a publisher any day now. Otherwise, JShufelt is going to need more printer cartridges.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.
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Skip Stare has lost control of Tako Tuesdays?
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, your friendly, neighborhood Oregon Ducks blog
by David Piper on Jul 15, 2010 10:54 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
So Tako Thursdays = Tako Tuesdays without beer, keg stickers, Fuskie bashing, or debates about Star Wars?
There is no such thing as going without Fuskie bashing.
I’m amazed you would suggest such an idea…
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 16, 2010 8:29 PM PDT up reply actions
When do we get to hear about LoMicheel Jeans?
Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.
Um, what’s the difference between “Oprah’s Book Club material” and “double crap”?
Life is a sport: Watch other people play it.
Clearly Jeremy's parents are to blame.
If they had given him a biblical name, I’m thinking something along the lines Three Dog Night would name a bullfrog friend, he would certainly be more on the straight and narrow.
by AcadianTraverse on Jul 16, 2010 4:47 AM PDT via mobile reply actions
I know how this one ends.
Thank you track, baseball, softball, and golf for ending my summer hibernation.
Feeling the same way about 08/09 Ducks YouTube highlight videos as you did about Seinfeld reruns for the better part of 2007?
by AcadianTraverse on Jul 16, 2010 7:27 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I read the preface to this one. Apparently Coach Stare’s problem started early on with LeBearrett Snout. He was practically an uncaged animal.
it’s spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-A-L-I-T-T-L-E-H-O-S-T-I-L-E"
It didn't help when Walker Thurman IV was lost for the season against Cal, either...
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 16, 2010 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions
At least Talmudge Jaxon XXXVII stepped up at the other corner spot.
Self-anointed President of the Kenjon Barner fan club.
But got his ass kicked in the Scuffle War by John Rudders.
Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.
Despite all this, the team DID manage to hand USC a humiliating loss. It was worth every minute...
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 16, 2010 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
I’ve never heard of USC. But The University of California Southside (beyatch) was blown out by Mazoni on a holiday. I want to say it was National Talk Like A Pirate Day, but I could be mistaken.
What about coach Tike Reach?
Was he ejected from his team in the void between postseason and regular season play for an unusual action that was blown way out of proportion?
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 16, 2010 7:53 PM PDT up reply actions
It’s Texas, and he did something you simply can’t get away with in the south. He let a player come out of the closet.
I do know that Jock Licker really sucked.
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, your friendly, neighborhood Oregon Ducks blog
by David Piper on Jul 16, 2010 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Didn’t Bigotry STFU University go 1-11 after their star QB Kevin Morneau got hurt?
Official officer of the office of official blasphemy. Where what you say works 60% of the time, every time.
The people of the Dominican Republic thank you for this post.
Thank you track, baseball, softball, and golf for ending my summer hibernation.
by Bill Musgrave on Jul 17, 2010 5:52 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Brilliant work! My only question: Can one really mosey urgently? If so, I need to try it.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
"What was the point of even writing this? Posts like this is why this site is a laughing stock."
I hate quoting morons, but it had to be said!
Seriously, I want to read more! This story oozes mystery and originality.
May we hand you your taints on a silver platter...
by 071903 on Jul 16, 2010 10:01 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
In this case, the movie is better than the book.
ATQ's #1 HRD Fan
Addicted to Quack
by Matt Daddy on Jul 16, 2010 11:04 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
I hate you.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
WTF is this shit, Tako?
Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 17, 2010 10:47 PM PDT reply actions
Mockery, with a touch of satire.
Would you like croutons with that?
by OBrienSchofieldismyHero on Jul 18, 2010 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
I just want my discussion about random things :(
Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 18, 2010 5:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Clearly you didn’t read the last Tako Tuesday.
They call him Rags. Where he goes, no-hitters follow.
Addicted to Quack, the home of Tako Tuesdays
Or, I might just be a dumbass that forgot you wrote that. Oops.
Don't look those hoodie-clad Huskies in the eyes. They'll give you lupus.
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Jul 19, 2010 12:12 AM PDT up reply actions

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