Barner vs FBS: Week 4

For the 2nd consecutive week, our hero was unable to find the end zone, this time thanks to a stingy ASU defense. Moreover, the teams that KjB had been battling for scoring supremacy exhibited spasms of offensive firepower hitherto unseen, laying waste to our original concept.

But it's not over yet, thanks to the anti-juggernaut that is Sparty West.

Points Scored by Kenjon Barner:   36

Teams That Have Not Outscored Kenjon Barner:  1

via www.nationalchamps.net

On the Bubble (teams within a touchdown):

• New Mexico 41

Fail Notes:

• Laconophiliacs* rejoice! San Jose State has finally completed its Washington Generals schedule, with Utah playing this week's Harlem Globetrotters. There was a flash early, as Brandon Driver returned a Utah kickoff 71 yards to the Utes 20, but after somehow earning first and goal at the 5, SJS could only manage a 20 yard field goal. Having satisfied a youthful curiosity with the end zone, Sparty assumed its characteristic position, and Utah scored TDs on its next five possessions. 
  For an idea of how things have gone for SJS this season, pay particular section to the Jordan La Secla punt at about :53 seconds into this clip..

• The Lobos Lead! And the valley shook with news that UNM had finally outscored an opponent during a game, as newly starting freshman QB Taurean Austin hit Bryant Williams for a 48-yard TD midway through the first quarter. Of course, New Mexico's point-a-minute defense could not keep up with its offense. Still, our favorite desert house pets used the 10-point outburst at UNLV to move firmly onto the bubble, and UNLV's 45-10 thrashing pushed the Jogging Rebels just as firmly off the bubble.  In the words of future lame-duck coach Mike Locksley, "We're obviously a long ways away." 
  The prevailing wisdom in Albuquerque was that this matchup of examples of futility would be the game to judge the Lobos by. The Sunday headline: "How do you like them now?" 
• The Rams have an offense? Last week's leader, Colorado State, played itself way off the charts in its first home game, dropping all the way to a tie for 8th after an inexplicable 36-34 rout of Idaho. The victory snapped a 12-game losing streak. Clearly, it was the new uniforms..

via www.reporterherald.com

And yes, those are throwbacks, if not throw-ups. It was "Ag Day" at CSU, and the team rolled out its 50-year-old orange livery, celebrating its prior campaigns as the Colorado School of Agriculture Aggies. To be sure, they had a better weekend than a few other teams dressed in orange.

**

Laconophilia (n): The irresistible desire to shout: "SPARTA!!!" every few minutes. It is often accompanied by kicking people in the chest and wanting to dine in Hell.

Person: What is this? 
Person with Laconophilia: THIS IS SPAARRTTTAAA!!!! 
*Person with Laconophilia kicks person into a pit*