How We Go: Oregon's Offense, by Dr. Seuss

BERKELEY CA - NOVEMBER 13: Darron Thomas #1 of the Oregon Ducks tries to jumps over Chris Conte #17 of the California Golden Bears at California Memorial Stadium on November 13 2010 in Berkeley California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

In light of last year's struggles against the Cal defense, I consulted the greatest author of all time to help me devise an offensive gameplan worthy of pounding our vassals at ATQ South. 

The time has come.

The time has come.  The time is now.

Just throw.  Throw.  THROW!  I don't care how.

You can go by air.

If we struggle by ground.

Darron V. Thomas, will you please throw now!

You can throw a curl.

You can throw a screen.

They'll play cover zero.

So please throw.  Please.

 

I don't care.  You can throw to LaMike.

Or Tuinei on a slant route if you like.

If you like

You can throw a fade to Rasaan over Sean Cattouse

Just throw, throw THROW!

Please do, do DO!

 

Darron V. Thomas,

I don't care how.

Darron V. Thomas,

will you please

THROW NOW!

 

You can throw to Paulson.

One on one with Hendricks.

You can throw to Lyerla if you wish.

 

If you wish you may throw to Butterfield.

Or play action pass and stretch the field.

Darron V. Thomas!

Don't you know

the time has come

to throw, Throw, THROW!

 

Down the field you'll see!

Please, Darron V!

You might like throwing

to Will Murphy!

 

You can throw to Kenjon...

...or DeAnthony

OR

You can throw to Josh Huff on a deep in.

You can throw a bubble-screen...

...with a block or two .

I don't care how you throw.

Just DO!

 

Cal's D will fake it.

You'll hear the crowd BOO

Darron, Darron, Darron!

They're afraid of you!

 

Darron V. Thomas!

I don't care HOW.

Darron V. Thomas!

Will you please

THROW NOW!

 

I said

THROW

and

THROW

I meant...

 

Throw the ball

and you won't lament.

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