Quack Fix: Oregon's struggles after a layoff, a hacking and some answers from David Paulson

It is time for the airing of grievances…I got a lot of problems with you people!
Let me just make sure i click the box and activate sarcasm font.

-ESPN…what the hell? First you shut down my youtube channel that took me four years to build and everybody loved. Why couldn’t you have just asked me to take down a couple videos you wanted removed? Instead you force Youtube to remove all 4,500, and in doing so deprive thousands of their Duck fix? I am in the process of building it back up bigger and better than it was before, but it’s going to again take years to complete. Also, you got rid of Bruce Feldman in favor of Craig James who left you a few months later anyway…yeah, good choices idiots!

-I am angry that I have never once gone camping with Musgrave.

-ATQ…why must you only selectively post FishDuck content? Based on what we’ve heard form people we are the greatest thing ever, so shouldn’t it all be covered? After all, it is a tiny site started by two fans who spend way too much time watching sports with zero financial backing or IT support. Why shouldn’t we be thought of on par alongside multi-million dollar companies with top-notch staff writers within inside connections to the program. We have laptops, half a case of beer, tickets to the game bought 2nd hand off of Craigslist and opinions dammit! Of course all of our articles should always appear on the quack fix!

-Chip Kelly…why do you chase points early? I understand that your two-point conversions in the first half following the first TD of the game are awesome, but in the few occasions when your system doesn’t produce massive leads you have a tendency to prematurely go for two in traditional offensive sets. Your 2pointers work because they are shifted out from a base kick formation catching the defenders off guard, but letting them align with a traditional defensive set reduces the chances for success. Unless it is absolutely necessary in the 4th quarter do it, but there is no excuse for going for 2 before the 4th! And while we’re at it, why haven’t you made out with Erin Andrews on national TV yet, she clearly wants your bod. Do you need a wing-man or something?

-Musberger…we know that during a live broadcast that we are watching it live, you don’t need to remind us at the start of each broadcast that “you are looking live…” We know.

-Fox Sports TV crews. Stop. Just stop. You clearly don’t know what you are talking about, better to say nothing and think you are a fools than to open your mouths and prove it to everyone. I’d rather watch the games on mute than listen to you talk about Darron Thomas running reverses from the WR position.

-Arizona State and UCLA. Are you saying with your recent coaching hires that you want to just default the Pac-12 south to USC every single year without having to go through the motions of actually playing the games?

-ATQ link box clicky thing. I clicked you. I know I clicked you, I totally did. So why do you not open in a new screen, as it makes me look dumb and upsets others. If I click you, act like I clicked you dammit!

-University of Oregon…why do you forget the fact that the success of the program is built upon the hardwork of those student-athletes who came before. Yes it’s great to be progressive and forward-thinking with this 21st century program, but it’s not ok to willfully turn your back on past accomplishments. I talk to a lot of former athletes from the UO, ya know the now adults who still bear the battle scars and physical ailments for the injuries they sustained for our enjoyment, all they ask for is a little recognition. There is a lot of grumbling and bitterness behind the scenes that student-athlete alumns do not get the respect they deserve. Do something about it. At least recognize their past accomplishments. When former players visit, let them tour the locker room, let them speak to the team. It’s a disgrace that when Kenny Wheaton was inducted to the hall of fame in october that he wasn’t asked t speak to the team or be a part of anything except the halftime ceremony. This is THE legend of the program, and Kelly doesn’t even acknowledge him? Many many many former athletes are kinda pissed at you, start embracing the history of the program more.

-Finally, I am upset that I can’t think of that other thing that really upset me.

I bet the other snake catcher has since died!