Tako Tuesdays: The Top Five
by Takimoto on Aug 16, 2011 9:00 AM PDT
in Oregon Ducks Football
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You all know by now that I'm not very good with words. Just can't seem to use 'em the right way. If it wasn't for Matt Daddy's diligent editing, most Tako Tuesdays would look like this:
OH HAI guys its Tako did u knoe that some beer's taste more diffrent than other beer's likeif you drink a Bud lite then have a raineeeer beer right after they taste kind of the same cuz their made of the same stuff but they dont excacly taste the same you know what i mean? I like the Ducks alot and I think there going to win the national championchip this year heres some other random shit i thought of 15 minuets ago ok thx biyee.
See what I mean? Thank God for Matt Daddy's penchant for vodka and Adderall, or you'd have to slog through that nonsense every week. Yeesh, what a mess.
However, do not let my lack of vocabularic and syntaxical prowess fool you; I'm pretty damn smart. I passed AP Calculus, I got a 1420 on my SATs with a hangover and without studying, I turned down UC Berkeley, and I can juggle. The credentials speak for themselves, my ideas are clever and worth your time. So to save Matt Daddy some time (and let him get back to playing Starcraft and prank-calling the diner down the street from his parent's house), I won't be using those pesky paragraphs. Instead, this very special episode of Tako Tuesdays is chock full of my 2011 football season predictions, in the form of Top Five lists.
Most Likely to Lead the Team in Total Touchdowns
3. Josh Huff
Most Likely to Deliver the Hit of the Year
2. John Boyett
3. Josh Kaddu
4. Boseko Lokombo
5. Dion Jordan
Games We Might Lose
1. LSU
2. Stanford
3. Arizona
4. Washington
5. USC
Team Leaders in Two-Point Conversions Scored
1. Rob Beard
2. Jackson Rice
4. Huff
5. James
Blowout Wins
1. Missouri State
2. UCLA
3. Colorado
4. Washington State
5. Oregon State
Leaders in Interceptions
2. Cliff Harris
3. Boyett
4. Terence Mitchell
5. Kiko Alonso
Best March to Victory Suits
1. Gary Campbell
2. Don Pellum
3. Barner
4. Harris
5. DeAnthony Thomas
All Pac-12 First Teamers
1. James
2. Boyett
3. Harris
4. Kaddu
5. Carson York
Impact True Freshmen
1. Colt Lyerla
2. DeAnthony Thomas
3. Tacoi Sumler
4. BJ Kelley
Most Likely Bowl Destinations
1. Rose
2. Fiesta
3. BCS Championship
4. Alamo
5. Holiday
Grievances? File them below in the comments.
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I only understand the stuff in the blue box.
What language are you speaking in the rest of the article?
Now with mustache guarantee!
Sumin bout fball & stuff I thnks?
Btw Thnx Taki, bst read eva n I 2 luv beer!!
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!
BEER FOOTBALL BEER FOOTBALL BEER FOOTBALL
BOOBS
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Aug 16, 2011 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
Rec'd
for knowing what I was thinking
-Launchpad McQuack
by Launchpad59 on Aug 16, 2011 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions
Blowout Wins
1. Missouri State
2. UCLA
3. Colorado
4. Washington State
5. Oregon State
I don’t mean to nitpick,* but we don’t play #2 this year.
*J/K LOL YES I DO
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
I guess you have to be really bad to get blown out by a team you don't play,
or be coached by a weasel.
12-0 (9-0)
Oregon -- Oregon, for heaven's sakes -- is playing for the national championship. --Ivan Maisel
We'll find a way.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
I almost lost to them in NCAA 2012
In RTG… computer called for a Hail Mary on 4th and Inches and 60+ yards to go.
Really smart AI sometimes.
ssshhh....
by OregOnDucks on Aug 16, 2011 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions
Oooh, yeah that works. Let's go with that.
It’s definitely not because I still assume we’re playing a round-robin schedule in my head.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
It's hard to think of everything in 15 minutes.
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Aug 16, 2011 10:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Someone finally gets me! A Keg Sticker for you!
Redeemable nowhere.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
Yippee!
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Aug 17, 2011 6:29 AM PDT up reply actions
Come to think of it, last year’s beatdown may have been bad enough to stretch over a few years.
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Aug 16, 2011 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
That's a rec
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Aug 16, 2011 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions
Sadly
We may not have another Weasel Stomping Day.
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is "never practice slow football" – but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a DUCK when DEATH is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Aug 16, 2011 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions
It was my favorite day of the year...
right behind “I hate Washington Day”
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
by M. Fletcher on Aug 16, 2011 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions
The Easter and Christmas of Oregon Football.
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is "never practice slow football" – but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a DUCK when DEATH is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Aug 16, 2011 12:35 PM PDT up reply actions
I love how the one came from the other.
It makes the hate so simple, so easy.
daisyduck's #8 fan, lacking the skills to be #1
by Bill Musgrave on Aug 16, 2011 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions
Boyett as first teamer?
I think Boyett’s fantastic, but it’s a really deep year at safety. I’m guessing Boyett’s on 2nd team after TJ McDonald (way better than Taylor Mays was) and Delano Howell (Stanford). Just saying Cliff is more likely, even with the suspension.
It has really surprised me this year how few all conference type players we have outside of James and Cliff. I think Heimuli actually has a chance given how thin the D-line talent is in the conference.
Yes, yes, yes. Boyette as first teamer. Anything else is heresy.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Aug 16, 2011 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
Huff and James predicted to score 2-pt conversions?
Did you simply not have any ideas after #1-3? Dion Jordan scored several. I would have added Colt Lyerla over Huff or James as he’s much more likely to be on the PAT team.
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
I figure we'll have a couple straight-up two point opportunities this year.
In addition to all our swinging gate madness.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
For likely losses, I'd go:
1. LSU
2. Stanford
3. USC
4. Arizona
5. Arizona St.
"And like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field."- Skip Caray
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Aug 16, 2011 12:03 PM PDT reply actions
As much as I hate UW, an away game plus our streak make me way more vervous than the AZ schools.
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!
The UW game scares the shit out of me
Here’s the thing: We run the gauntlet in November. Washington starts that…It’d be really easy to look ahead to Andrew Luck and Stanford the next week.
The "Bill Simmons" of ATQ
Did you make that NCAA cover?
GIEF! :)
ssshhh....
by OregOnDucks on Aug 16, 2011 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Golly, I Eventually Forget?
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is "never practice slow football" – but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a DUCK when DEATH is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Aug 16, 2011 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Genius is evaluated flobbyschmectively.
daisyduck's #8 fan, lacking the skills to be #1
by Bill Musgrave on Aug 16, 2011 5:35 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don't think looking ahead has ever been an issue with a Chip Kelly-coached team.
"And like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field."- Skip Caray
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Aug 16, 2011 2:00 PM PDT up reply actions
They haven't been within 19 points of us in 7 years.
I’m not completely sure they should “scare the shit” out of you.
Ducks GOOOOD. Fuskies BAAAAAD.
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Aug 16, 2011 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Perhaps axe has a lotta shit that he's needs getting rid of and just needs an excuse.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Aug 16, 2011 10:23 PM PDT up reply actions
In the name of listing things, I say we rank Miami's violations from worst to less awful
The choices:
-prostitution
-football “hit list” placed on opposing players
-paying collegiate players to sign with agents
-providing coaches/admin extra benefits
-gifts such as rims
-free housing
-unlimited access to a party yacht and 2 mansions
-providing underage players alcohol
-purchasing recruits (among tons of other recruiting violations that coaches knew about)
-probably a lot of stuff I forgot
Here’s my list
1) providing coaches/admin extra benefits
2) paying players to sign with a specific agent
3) their recruiting stuff
4) prostitution
5) buying players gifts (rims, even entire cars)
Self anointed President of the Kenjon Barner fan club.
i think the worst thing is that they had a bounty on Tim Tebow but could never collect it.
Life is about growth. People are not perfect when they're 21 years old. - Bill Walton
by NEP on Aug 16, 2011 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
openly paying for players to break the law and commit felonies is #1 in my book.
The "Bill Simmons" of ATQ
I’m going with paying a stripper/prostitute to get an abortion.
by SeattleDucks on Aug 17, 2011 8:05 AM PDT up reply actions
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