Quack Fix: The De La Salle Five, Clay in a boot, getting to know Rahsaan Vaugn
by jtlight on Sep 14, 2011 7:33 AM PDT
in Morning Quack Fix
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PrintGood news for all you ATQ fans in dire need of ATQ apparel, We put JShufelt to work, and he came up with some great shirts at ATQ's new store. Here's your quack:
- The guys over at FishDuck have been pumping out more great articles. Keeerrrttt's Duck Tales this morning is on the De La Salle five, who committed to Oregon in 2004. Kurt talked with Cameron Colvin, and got his take on recruiting and his time at Oregon. It's a great piece, so check it out. FishDuck himself also had a new piece yesterday recapping the Nevada game, and had some great thoughts on Darron's execution of the zone read.
- Rob Moseley has a practice update, and that pretty much means an injury update. Clay is still in a boot, though Barner and Beard dressed. Josh Huff was not in pads, and is again listed behind Rahsaan Vaughn on the weekly depth chart (warning: PDF).
- Speaking on Vaughn, Lindsay Schnell has a profile on him this morning, and how hard he had to work both on and off the field to get to Oregon. With Oregon's receiving corp not looking so hot this season, it was great to see Vaughn make plays against Nevada.
- Ken Goe has a piece on another Oregon newcomer, Colt Lyerla. He caught his first TD this weekend and has a ton of athletic ability, but is still working on mastering the TE spot. That's a tough job at Oregon, as they move their tight ends around a lot, and they could end up playing anywhere on the field.
- Rob Moseley also has a notebook this morning based on Chip Kelly's weekly press conference (full video after the jump). During this, Chip Kelly address what puzzled many Oregon fans: Oregon's lack of misdirection and motion against LSU. The Tigers disguise their defenses much more than Nevada does, which caused Oregon to audible more frequently than they are used to. With Nevada running defenses based on principles, the Ducks used a lot of motion to spread out the Wolf Pack.
- George Schroeder is really going out on a limb and saying that OSU's typical fast finish might not happen this year.
Got anything else? Leave it in the comments. Chip Kelly's weekly press conference is after the jump. GO DUCKS!
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Comments
Derailing Mothership Quack Fix on the first post
Those BSU sanctions somehow do not inspire the desired level of schadenfreude.
/discuss
Now with mustache guarantee!
More would have been nice, but honestly… their football program hardly did anything bad.
The penalties seem to be a little excessive to me.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Meh, I don't even care enough about fBSU to bother about their sanctions.
I’d rather see them lose to Nevada again.
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
Clearly, my pro-Boise-ness is having an effect on y'all.
You love me, I love Boise, therefore vicariously you love Boise.
(yes I know you guys don’t love me and you especially don’t love Boise shut up)
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Sep 14, 2011 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions
Wow ProbMonty
Your capacity for self-delusion is approaching mine! Nice work!
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
It’s logic!
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Their turf is blue
…and they are proven.
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
I know I'm excited!
That kid is going to be really good once he really knows the system. He seems pretty smart too.
It’s possible that he’s not a punk.
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
Where the hell did you hear this?
He’s a good kid!
/ifyoucan’tbeatthemjointhem
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
by daisyduck on Sep 14, 2011 8:58 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
If he can put on some muscle and hold on to the ball
He will elevate this program.
Quack Quack Bitches!
by Quack Addict on Sep 14, 2011 8:59 AM PDT up reply actions
This is what happens when Daisy joins the ranks
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
by Matt Daddy on Sep 14, 2011 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Film Credits
Starring:
Zombie: daisyduck
Cell Phone guy: Matt Daddy
Neanderthal: Bill Musgrave
Chimpanzee: HoodRiverDuck
Silly Little Howler Monkey: axemen23
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
by daisyduck on Sep 14, 2011 9:13 AM PDT up reply actions 7 recs
I'm kind of attached to my chronosynclastic infundibulum.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 11:26 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm going to find your tailgate
and start whooping and hollering incessantly until you throw a spear at me.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
This is a great idea.
Hey Daisy, I have a Maasai spear. I’ll try to remember it for Saturday.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
I'll bring my katana sword
We’ll have a rowdy ol’ time.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
This moment would be so much better
if you’d watch “Pulp Fiction!”
Member of DaisyDuck's 2011 doody list.
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Sep 14, 2011 3:45 PM PDT up reply actions
And we'll have Shrimp Scampi for dinner.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
Ooh -- I don't have enough cash for that.
Mind if we hit up the ATM machine on the way over?
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Sep 14, 2011 8:21 PM PDT up reply actions
/checks with judges
Yep, innuendo challenge entry accepted
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
Really, I'd rather not submit it
It’s not my best work. Had I been giving my best effort it would have been:
‘While I certainly know how to skillfully handle a spear, I’d welcome your assistance with your weaponry".
Yep, now I feel dirty.
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
by daisyduck on Sep 14, 2011 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
If I have a vote. This is easily the winner.
It’s like a double innuendo written by a girl, making it exponentially better. Well done Daisy.
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
Geeesh, Daisy.
You’re making me blush.
(Not really.).
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
So, something like your daily ATQ blather?
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions
So are all practices all closed to the public now?
If so, for how long? I miss my daily afternoon fix
...GO DOUG...
by Your Favorite Team's Favorite Team on Sep 14, 2011 8:59 AM PDT reply actions
I'm still waiting for someone to try and get a media pass on behalf of ATQ.
I think it would hinge on if someone there has ever been to the site…might be a dream killer.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
I appreciate the suspense you put into this post.
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Sep 14, 2011 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions
I...
…appreciate the kind words.
I had hoped to interview the other guys too, but TJ is a bit busy, and Willie & Jackie wouldn’t return my messages.
by keeerrrttt1 on Sep 14, 2011 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Thanks for the article, Kurt.
I just finished the article, and it was very enjoyable.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Sounds more like Kirk that Kurt there.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh, no need to thank me, it was nothing.
Anyhoo, in my fucked up brian, djp and then your light mockery of djp read like Captain Kirk, the patron saint of over-inserting ellipses mid-sentence.
Not… much time! Must… stop posting.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 6:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Now I’m even more confused. Who is Brian, and why did he get so fucked up? Did I do that to him somehow with my depressing writing?
Brian is Tennessee Quack Attack of course.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 6:58 PM PDT up reply actions
You did a great job regardless.
I knew of each player, and I knew each of the individual events. But I had never put it all together and realized how it had affected each of them and how all of them had suffered individually as well as collectively. It makes me even more excited that TJ is becoming a star, and I hope he can continue to avoid any bad luck and be successful for all the guys that were never able to be.
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Sep 14, 2011 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions
It was a great read.
I think it says a lot about both Oregon as a program/community/family and where we identify talent vs stars walkon vs. NFL.
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!
Chip Kelly was on the Dan Patrick Show earlier today
It’s funny how different his interviews with national media types are when compared the locals
Local beat reporters ask the same things over and over, because “They have to”.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
It's their JOB!
…to ask stupid and uninteresting questions.
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
by M. Fletcher on Sep 14, 2011 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions
You mean that making yourself the focus of the story as a reporter
…won’t get you on the ESPN? somebodyisdoinitrong
"It’s great with these group of guys. There is no panic in them." --Chip Kelly, Clearly NOT talking about members of ATQ.
@jblair26
by M. Fletcher on Sep 14, 2011 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions
They ask them because they are tough
It’s really hard being that stupid and uninteresting.
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
what editor is going to say
what?! you didn’t ask him whne he was going to reinstate cliff harris for the 20th time after saying he was giong to tell you when he was?! you didn’t ask a question you already knew the answer to and was futile?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?
www.searchingforakilismith.com
Dan Patrick and CK
share that same east coast humor too, which I think makes CK a bit more at ease. He knows DP does think he’s being a jerk, just because he’s a smartass sometimes.
My parents believed in me.
Chip's a Red Sox fan? Gag.
"And like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field."- Skip Caray
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Sep 14, 2011 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions
Hey. Bernie Carbo ref from the Chipster.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
Yet your profile says you're a Twins fan?
"And like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field."- Skip Caray
by TennesseeQuackAttack8 on Sep 14, 2011 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Of course he is
He’s from New England.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
T-Shirt Update
Due to popular requests:
Green
Go to the links to see the back side.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
by JShufelt on Sep 14, 2011 11:04 AM PDT reply actions 10 recs
You absoultely killed it with those shirts, Shu.
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Sep 14, 2011 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions
I would love to get one if not for the drug reference. But good work nonetheless.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
DRUG REFERENCE?!?!?
That smoke is from the tires, Gorby.
Geesh.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Why you gotta be such a square, daddyo?
Member of DaisyDuck's 2011 doody list.
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Sep 14, 2011 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions
My bad. In that case, I’ll order 7 of them.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
by Gorbachav5 on Sep 14, 2011 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
I will continue to rec this.
It’s spelled S-H-U-F-U-C-K-I-N-G-R-O-C-K-S
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
You are the man....
Just bought the green one!
1) Awesome shirt
2) True slogan
3) Let the dominance continue
by NICKPAPAGEORGIOTHEDUCK on Sep 14, 2011 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm for sure buying a green one
I may pick up a yellow as well.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Wahoooo!
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Sep 14, 2011 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions
You're my hero Shu
I might actually chip you a few bucks at the tailgate this weekend for putting the work in on these.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Do you have anything in a kind of carbon and anthracite blend?
You know, not quite black, but not gray, maybe a little charcoal but not graphite?
Has to be just right.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 4:24 PM PDT up reply actions
No.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Do you have anything in yeen?
/benzduck’d
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 4:36 PM PDT up reply actions
No.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Does it come in any other fabrics?
Human flesh coated in baby oil, perhaps?
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Is there a way to make lasers come out of the closed circle portion of the letters?
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Yes.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Hence the extra shipping cost, no doubt.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 5:26 PM PDT up reply actions
I knew it!
I’ll take seven, but first I want to verify that there will also be buttons next to each team whereby we can access the Shufelt poll numbers of each of their opponents, and their opponent’s opponents.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 5:34 PM PDT up reply actions
The Shufelt poll actually controls the lasers. Not the one wearing the shirt.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
I see The Shufelt as more of an explanation for everything, less a control.
In Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time”, he (sorta) posits that if physicists could finally come up with a mathematical theory which unifies the four fundamental forces – electromagnetic, weak nuclear, strong nuclear, and gravitational – then one would be able to predict every future action in the universe as well as trace every action mathematically back to the big bang, each phenomenon nothing more than the calculable interaction of these various types of physical impulses, given a computer billions of times more powerful those we have today, of course, in order to do the innumerable calculations.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Shufelt, just $20.99 from SB Nation.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 7:24 PM PDT up reply actions
I feel like you just became my pimp, and I’m your… worker.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Only The Shufelt knows the truth.
Also, The Shufelt is able to predict when it will reach self-awareness, even though it has not yet done so.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 7:45 PM PDT up reply actions
This thing sounds unstable.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
We can rebuild him.
We have the technology.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
I’m waiting for the human baby flesh ones.
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
The PANTONE number for Yeen is √-1. This makes it impossible to replicate.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
Another old program up..
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
by benzduck on Sep 14, 2011 1:22 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
rAMG'd
Love the page turns on the site, and the big Ad for smokes on the last page. Coz nothing says sports like smokin a pac of 20!
Or smoking a Pac o 10 for that matter.
/atqteeshirted!
Hoover: They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!
Random Duck fact that's been going around on twitter today - makes the 2007 season even more tragic
Of Oregon’s 26 alums on current NFL rosters, 18 played on the ’07 team #goducks #whatcouldhavebeen
Isn't that where we always find you?
I’m not sure why you’re making this time so special.
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
by Duckfanatic10 on Sep 14, 2011 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Usually I’m not wearing a #10 jersey made out of grocery bags and magic markers.
by JonathanPDX on Sep 14, 2011 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, that DeLasalle article ruined my day....
The only thing that has saved it so far was that the article linked that hit or TJ Ward’s on Zac Robinson……
That hit will make me happy any day of my life for the rest of my life….
I still maintain that is the hardest hit I’ve ever seen in any game (pro or college)
by NICKPAPAGEORGIOTHEDUCK on Sep 14, 2011 5:05 PM PDT up reply actions
I live to disappoint, glad to hear I could bum you out.
Normally this is where I would link the Wes Mallard hit on Michael Jolivette from 2000, but since ESPN are a bunch of selfish dickbags it’s no longer online for now…I will get it back up soon, I’m going chronologically and still working on 1998.
Thanks.....actually that was my intent of posting that comment....
That someone else would post a harder hit.
And thanks for the article. Did you write the whole thing? That was THE best article I think I’ve ever read on Oregon football. As someone who went to school at U of O from 02-06 it was awesome to read that detailed history.
by NICKPAPAGEORGIOTHEDUCK on Sep 14, 2011 6:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Yup, every Wednesday I have a new article out about Ducks sports history in the “DuckTales” section of fishduck.com.
http://fishduck.com/author/keeerrrttt/
There’s also an awesome video section that is worth checking out…and without over-promoting other Duck sites on one, I should say fishduck.com does have a link on the frontpage back to Addictedtoquack in the spirit of cross-promotion, and I’m very thankful that the TAQ crew have been so generous with promoting my articles and all the fishduck.com content. The site is only a month old, so our biggest hindrance right now is just word of mouth, so this crew has been awesome about promoting our content.
There should be a FishDuck Action figure lineup.
Give FishDuck “LAZER POINTER ACTION!!”, keeerrrttt1 "KARATE CHOP FILM REEL ACTION!!!, and Dale a “DAILY ARTICLE ATTACK!!!”
Something like that. It will go places.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
While I was up in Oregon this past weekend we had a staff meeting, and among the topics actually was merchandising. I’ll have to bring that one up. I’m rather stunned whenever people recognize me and the fact that anyone ever bothers to read or watch any of my articles/videos, if somebody had a doll of me that wasn’t voodoo intended to cause physical harm that would be kinda creepy…but I could totally understand the voodoo doll, since I’m a complete asshole it’s probably deserving.
Would it make less creepy if it had KARATE CHOP FILM REEL ACTION!!!!?
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
It might help. Also if the doll was anatomically correct. Then somebody just needs to make an Amanda Pflugrad doll.
I see where you're going with this.
And it’s amazingly creepy!
Well done!
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
I feel like that could be done.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
You misunderstood
The Amanda doll is for the Kurt Doll
Member of DaisyDuck's 2011 doody list.
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Sep 15, 2011 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions
That last hashtag makes me cry.
Thanks, Andy McNamara.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
Ahhh memories
the first time I openly swore in front of my mother.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
And I'm guessing she didn't mind.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, no.
She was in the kitchen getting something (I can’t remember what) and when he crumpled and I started spewing hatred and death, she initially was incensed. She must have thought it was like a holding penalty or something.
:sob:
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Mrs Benzduck wondered what I was all upset about when DD went down during the ASU game.
I calmed down enough to tell her I’d seen this before, and it wasn’t good, and was probably really bad. Explained the difference between tweaking a knee and tweaking an ankle, which was what she’d associated it with.
Expressed my hope that he’d be OK, and my fear that we’d seen his last meaningful game. She told me to calm down. I did, for about five days.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
This is like the official Kennedy Moment of Ducks fans.
We all remember where we were when it happened. I was on a barstool at Full Sail drinking with an old friend from out of town who isn’t a football fan, but even he understood why the bar went dead silent and I didn’t feel much like celebrating any more.
Since I went to high school in 1980’s Maryland, I also have a Kennedy Moment for Len Bias. But I think I’m going to cry already, so I’ll leave that one alone.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions
(The UA game, not the ASU game)
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 5:27 PM PDT up reply actions
And for ASU, I was in section 13 with my throat sunk into my gut, only to wipe off the sweat from my brow as I saw him jumping and running along the sidelines.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
This was me
At that game and I kept saying to my husband “He’s okay – look, he’s jumping up and down on the sideline and smiling! He’s not hurt bad.” But somewhere deep inside I just KNEW that wasn’t the case because we can’t have nice things.
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
we can’t have nice things.
But…But…We have you!
/amidoingitrite?
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
You know, you really are a very sweet little howler monkey.
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
by daisyduck on Sep 14, 2011 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
What I can remember is being so fucking hurt and the soooo angry at the Arizona fans for all the shit that they did...
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
I was at home watching the game and talking to someone on the phone, who was also watching the game. His broadcast was about 2 seconds ahead of me.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
I was at a bazaar in Constantinople, watching between the swinging pig ribs with Atuk.
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 5:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Here's an odd note too
I went to look at the Wiki page for our 2007 recruiting class and Damn it was good. Players of note:
Kenny Rowe
Drew Davis
Jeff Maehl
Darrion Weems
Carson York
Anthony Gildon
Will Tukuafu
Casey Matthews
Talmadge Jackson
Brandon Hanna
David Paulson
Eddie Pleasant
Terrell Turner
Mark Asper
Aaron Pflugrad
Rishard Matthews (The odd part, because he’s currently Nevada’s offensive playmaker, and was their #1 receiver last week).
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
I had just gotten a brand new 47-inch plasma
Got the HD cable hooked up that day, cleaned the house, rearranged the family room invited a bunch of friends over, and… splat.
Worst. Party. Ever.
I turned off the TV about 2 drives later
The season was over and I couldn’t take watching anymore. I reluctantly turned on the Sun Bowl and found it something of a catharsis.
I was the same way in the stands
Everyone around me was going “Phew, he’s up and around on the sidelines” and the 14 year old me kept saying out loud “I’ve seen this too many times…I hope not, but I’ve seen this before…”
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Yeah
We had a keg at my house and a bunch of friends of mine and my dad’s over…..
Dixon crumpled and I just started doing keg stands until I couldn’t really stand up….then I went to bed and hoped I would wake up and someone would tell me I was just having a bad dream.
by NICKPAPAGEORGIOTHEDUCK on Sep 14, 2011 5:06 PM PDT up reply actions
You guys want a sports article?
Here’s one that’s getting a lot of “wows” and “amazing work” from around the country. It’s a hell of a long read, so snuggle up next to the fire, or whatever floats your boat.
The Shame of College Sports from The Atlantic
"I’m not hiding," Sonny Vaccaro told a closed hearing at the Willard Hotel in Washington, D.C., in 2001. "We want to put our materials on the bodies of your athletes, and the best way to do that is buy your school. Or buy your coach."
……
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Holy cow, that’s a long article.
No… that’s a book. I’m going to have to print this and have it near the toilet.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
...I wish I'd thought of this.
You’re so much smarter than me Mr. Felt.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
A quick microsoft word count shows
14514 words, 18 pages. Holy christ.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
That's more words than everything I've ever written on ATQ, altogether.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
I started reading it
but lost focus when I realized vast stretches of it are the History of Football 101. It’s like Benzduck on steriods.
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
Trust me
You do not want me on steroids.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
INSERT HRD BONERZ (JOKE) HERE
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 14, 2011 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
BENZDUCK ANGRY
BENZDUCK SMASH BENZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Hilarity from the mind of Ted Miller.
On the injury report for this week:
Oregon: LB Michael Clay (foot) is extremely day-to-day with a dash of doubtful, perhaps for multiple weeks. WR Josh Huff (ankle) is day-to-day with a smattering of doubtful. WR Justin Hoffman (concussion) is day-to-day with a dab of doubtful. RB Kenjon Barner (ankle) is day-to-day with a pinch of questionable (he dressed for practice Tuesday). Kicker Rob Beard (illness) is day-to-day with a glaze of probable.
"It's not about style. It's about winning the game. That's it." - Chip Kelly
Is he making duck soup?
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Apparently...
there is some new issue re: Chip that should drop in 4-6 weeks, per Brian Berger. He said so on 750 the game today. Offseason issues need to stay in the offseason.
"I love Oregon's obsolete recruiting report on an unhealthy level. Just more proof how balla Chip Kelly really is." Dr. Saturday
SPOILERS
The new issue is that Chip has lived in the Pacific Northwest for almost five years and still drinks Corona.
Addicted to Quack, #1 Oregon blog among female Duck fans, including the ageless and ever-radiant daisyduck.
OH MY GOD!!! THE WORLD IS OVER!!! PELICANS ARE EVERYWHERE!!!
WHAT’S THE NCAA PUNISHMENT FOR SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Apologies in advance for the years of counseling Daisy's going to need after the following picture.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Dear god man, look what you've done!
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Hmm...
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
by JShufelt on Sep 15, 2011 7:37 AM PDT up reply actions 8 recs
Is this a recruiting issue?
www.searchingforakilismith.com
by jcgoducks on Sep 14, 2011 8:09 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
It’s a local Portland radio host that doesn’t actually say anything.
He’ll get replayed tomorrow on everyone’s radio show.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
oh ok.
i have decided that i will no longer take in regional media. it blows too hard for me to tolerate anymore. what did canzano say? i don’t care anymore. i don’t go to oregonlive, i dont go to the RG (except for moseley who’s my dawg), and i only read national publications, you know, wehre good writers are.
www.searchingforakilismith.com
God dammit
I hate that this actually makes me nervous. Talk me down, ATQ’ers! Bring me back to earth here. Why shouldn’t I worry about this?
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Sep 14, 2011 9:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Since nobody's helping me out here, I've got one.
“If you believe everything the media has to say, then you have nothing to worry about, because Chip Kelly has already lost his job according to SportsByBrooks.”
"[Autzen Stadium's] steep concrete banks and closed ends turn a small but rabid crowd from WAC-sized cheering section into a horde of bees with megaphones capable of reaching 127 decibels of hatenoise." -Spencer Hall
by ProbablyMonty on Sep 14, 2011 10:20 PM PDT up reply actions
SportsByTMZ hasn't even mentioned this yet.
Not that everything he says is accurate, but what he doesn’t say always inaccurate.
It's spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-I-M-P-A-T-I-E-N-T".
"YOU ARE THE KING OF THE AWESOME GUYS, JSHUFELT!!!" - daisyduck
That's right, because she's a "real journalist" who has credibility.
Credibility to ask stupid questions, that is:
The Oregonian’s Lindsay Schnell attempted to pin down Kelly in a Q-and-A that went like this:
Schnell: “Did Huff and Barner practice today.”
Kelly: “They were at practice, yes.”
Schnell: “Did they participate?”
Kelly: Silently nodded yes.
Schnell: “Did they participate on the field?”
Kelly: "Actually, they floated over the field. They are working on leverage drills. They can levitate really well.
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
Listen putz, get some more followers and then we'll see how stupid Chip Kelly can make you look.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 8:56 PM PDT up reply actions
What actually stuns me is how absolutely terrible they are at even asking questions.
Asking closed end questions (while good in a court room) is stupid if you want information. Open end questions require the interviewee to actually talk or open up. For example, little miss credible prissy here could have easily changed any one of her questions and actually received a decent answer (open end questions start with How, Where, When or What. Not why. Never ask why, it’s controversial). For example:
Instead of:
Did Huff and Barner practice today? (which the only answers Kelly could give would be yes or no).
Ask:
How were Barner and Huff at practice today?
Instead of:
Did they participate:
Ask:
What level of participation did they practice?
Instead of:
Did they participate on the field?
Ask:
Actually there is no way to make that question good. It was just stupid.
It stuns me how basic this is to interviewing yet we constantly see closed end (yes or no) questions or long winded, hoping to make myself part of the story questions. Personally, I think a lot of these “credible journalists” need to go on a few more interviews (the sooner the better) so they learn how to ask good open questions.
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
I can do this better than they can
No really, I do. I’m a better interviewer than these people. Hands down. Dead serious. Promise. An 18 year old not-even-started-college-yet has a better grasp of how to ask a question.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
How many followers do you got on Twitter?
/itain’tenuf
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
/mom’sbasement’d
Member of DaisyDuck's 2011 doody list.
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Sep 15, 2011 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions
This is also Lesson A in taking a medical history.
Your doctor is paying more attention if they say “What can I do for you?” as opposed to “So I understand you have a cold.”
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 9:17 PM PDT up reply actions
they are paying attention more even though they couldn’t bother to read the chart in front of them that says I have a cold?
They’re still waiting for the chart history to open on their laptop.
The "Beano Cook" of ATQ.
Follow @MrBenzduck on the Twitters!
BRRRRRRzumbula Haters GIF
slowing download
scrappy
by Honka Playboy on Sep 15, 2011 7:00 AM PDT up reply actions
Was it written in ALL CAPS?
did you adequately convey PANIC?
scrappy
by Honka Playboy on Sep 15, 2011 6:59 AM PDT up reply actions
To be fair, there is this CRAZY phenomenon that occurs in the hospital:
In which the exact same question asked by a nurse, then a tech and then the actual Dr. will yield 3 quite different answers…..
Hence, the need for redundant questions.
by NICKPAPAGEORGIOTHEDUCK on Sep 15, 2011 7:15 AM PDT up reply actions
Perhaps we're all just fucking with you
for asking the same question over and over again.
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
Sweet, sweet Second Doctor Phenomenon
Worst thing about being an intern.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 15, 2011 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions
I thought it was somehow bringing your sins back physically… and they're pissed.
/Flatlined
Euler's #1 fan
by Bill Musgrave on Sep 15, 2011 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Well,
the part about making complicated mental decisions on two or three hours sleep for several nights in a row might also qualify.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 15, 2011 2:42 PM PDT up reply actions
When did you first experience the symptoms?
What are some of the other areas it’s effecting you?
When does it get worse?
How has it gotten better?
vs
Do you have a runny nose?
Have you been coughing?
Does it get worse at night?
Did anything make it feel better?
"the putz from that UO blog, Matt Daddy" - Steve Tannen
The Daily Faberian
Shhhhhh
HRDbonerpillz wull cuere wutevur ales u
Member of DaisyDuck's 2011 doody list.
And Cliff Harris was like, "VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by DuckUntilDeath on Sep 15, 2011 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions
/patswrist
/therethere
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 15, 2011 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions
HEY YOU
I HAVE A GRIEVANCE TO FILE WITH YOU, I TOOK YOUR DAMN PILLZ AND NOW I HAVE A 3RD ARM COMING OUT THE BACK OF MY NECK. WHO DO I TALK TO ABOUT A REFUND?!?!?!? AND DON’T YOU DARE CONNECT ME WITH THIS GUY!
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
Well if it isn't my good friend Mr. Gregg
with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 15, 2011 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions
So how much attention are they giving me
when they say ‘Good grief, What is it THIS time?’
ATQ's #1 fan of ATQ Guys
It's not just journalism or medicine
it’s lesson 1A in “Giving a shit.”
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
or
how well did huff and barner do in drills today? requiring him to answer if they particpated or not, and then how well they looked
www.searchingforakilismith.com
What's he hiding?
WHAT’S HE HIDING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? We’re taxpayers, damnit! We pay to support the general organization which contains the self-funding subordinate organization which pays his salary! WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW ALL THE SECRETS HE KEEPS IN ORDER TO EFFECTIVELY DO HIS JOB!!!!!!!
by omb on Sep 14, 2011 9:02 PM PDT up reply actions 4 recs
Rec'd for demanding answers.
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Sep 14, 2011 9:04 PM PDT up reply actions
I think by this logic
the playbook should be public record.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
This has to have been intentional
“We have to go out there and arrest victory.”
—Les Miles, 9/14/11.
Journalism allows almost anyone to direct questions they would never ask of their own friends at random people. --Chuck Klosterman
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