Tako Tuesdays: How do I love thee? Let me count the TDs!
It's Valentine's Day, ATQ! It's a day that began with a few martyred Catholics who became a front for converting a pagan fertility ritual into something stuffy and all church-y, and has now evolved into a gajillion dollar industry for Hallmark, candy hearts that taste like chalk, and, ironically enough, a Pagan fertility ritual. But before all else, Valentine's Day is about love, and spending time thinking about, and being with, those you love most. And my Valentine this year is someone who took my breath away the first time I laid eyes on them. The courtship was a whirlwind; were these just moves being put on me, or is this really the real thing? I don't know, but I'm willing to take a chance with my heart. That's why my 2012 Valentine is De'Anthony Thomas.
Ahhhh, isn't he the dreamiest?
It's official: I love De'Anthony Thomas. I love that he's a Duck. It makes me love him even more that he ditched KiffyBear and the Trojans to become a Duck. I love that he fumbled twice against LSU. I mean, I don't love that he fumbled. But he was stripped by outstanding defenders, in his first college game, at the end of making two very athletic plays to gain yards. And I love that after he fumbled twice, he kept making those athletic plays, eventually scoring his first collegiate touchdown. I love this:
De'Anthony Thomas 69 yd. reception vs Nevada for TD (via madmike1951)
At the time, that was the sickest head fake we'd ever seen on a football field. Then he did this:
De'Anthony Thomas 45 yard reception for TD vs WSU 10/29/2011 (via madmike1951)
He took that same little quick head fake, and he did it FOUR TIMES in five yards.
I love this:
De'Anthony Thomas 91 yard TD run vs Wisconsin 2012 Rose Bowl (via madmike1951)
The timing of this play swung the entire scope of the Rose Bowl. Almost every coach in college football chooses not to run that play. Let time expire, and run it in the second quarter. Any momentum Wisconsin had built in the first quarter was gone. And it was at that this point that the Wisconsin fans sitting around me at the Rose Bowl gave up all hope of watching their defense stop the Oregon offense. One Badger fan said simply, "Welp, it's a shootout."
On my Top 25 TDs of 2011-12 list, DAT has the top three scores, 4 of the top 6, and 6 of the top 10. Simply stunning.
Now I know what you're all thinking; "Tako, he's too young for you, loving him would be a conflict of interests with your work on the blog, you've never spoken a word to each other." None of that matters! Let's consider the facts:
- At 5'9", De'Anthony is a perfectly reasonable height for a potential Valentine for my 6'1" self. I wouldn't want to get into that situation where there's a couple walking down the street, and they're both super tall. Cuz that's just weird. Incidentally, that's why Lavasier Tuinei and I could never work.
- On a bicycle built for two, his legs are so strong I wouldn't have to do any pedaling. Lazy man bonus!
- He loves roses.
- He looks good in any color combination. Green, yellow, black, white, carbon, steel, iridescence, chrome, volt, anthrocite, doesn't matter. He could make purple look good. Guh, never mind, forget I said anything MOVING ON NOTHING TO SEE HERE LALALALALALALA
- He, legally, has to spend two more years in a Duck uniform before considering the NFL Draft. This has nothing to do with eventually buying matching easy chairs for our imaginary den, but it's a fact I think about every time I'm having a bummer of a day. Stepped in dog poop? Two more years of Mamba. Homeless guy kicked you in the shins? Two more years of Mamba. Just got laid off? Two more years of Mamba. And food stamps.
- We both love Mexican food. Now, I don't know for a fact that DAT loves Mexican food, but he grew up in Los Angeles. You can't grow up in LA and not like Mexican food. That's like growing up in Portland not liking pine trees and complaining about the Blazers.
pic via cdn1.sbnation.com
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Comments
Well said!
I propose we adopt him as ATQ’s Official 2012 Valentine.
Unless you are too greedy to share.
ATQ's #1 fan of WINNING THE ROSE BOWL
Victory
If I could kiss Nick Holt, I would. Though, with him, I’m sure it would end in deep penetration and a score
by kalon on Feb 14, 2012 12:39 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Musgrave don't surf!
Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Feb 14, 2012 12:51 PM PST up reply actions
Musgrave is Musgravy
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 12:48 PM PST up reply actions
mmmm Mashed Potatoes and Musgravy
The All I Saw Was Green Blog, that's it I'm telling SBN legal
by Matt Daddy on Feb 14, 2012 12:59 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Get those vegetables away from me!
I love my Musgravy meaty!
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:11 PM PST up reply actions
My favorite part
The Musgracon (too much?)
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:12 PM PST up reply actions
Push button.
Receive Musgracon.
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:18 PM PST up reply actions
Surely you don't mean his belly button?
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
I hadn't thought that much into it
But, yeah, I suppose that could work.
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:46 PM PST up reply actions
OK, then. Where does the Muscragon come out?
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
See also
I hadn’t thought that much into it
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:59 PM PST up reply actions
Well it's time. Give thot a shot.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
"I have a really big head and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through."

Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 5:31 PM PST up reply actions
Some call me Wavy Musgravy
I'm not here to cause no trouble, I'm just here to do the… well, I don't really know what I'm here to do.
by Bill Musgrave on Feb 14, 2012 5:06 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Musgravy Baby!
"Forget it. If 21 gets behind you, you can play the fight song." --Scott Van Pelt
[Will Auction Off Sig To Highest Bidder]
There are very few pine trees in Portland. That being said, I have been complaining about the Blazers for almost a generation. It’s been almost 20 years since management broke up the team because they couldnt beat the Jordan in his prime Bulls.
The bungling of the Blazers front office indirectly led to the signing of DAT. As the state’s only pro team muddled around in mediocrity the Ducks were slowly building their brand. The Blazers will probably always have the edge, but there are two big time teams in the state now, and the Oregon football team might just be bigger nationally.
by H Stands for Halfwit on Feb 14, 2012 9:23 AM PST via iPhone app reply actions
I agree with you,
I’ll take a Ducks game over the Blazers any day.
By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!
hmmm
I would swap you a Ducks against Southnorthern West Dakota for a Blazer Western Conference Final game
Not all Duck or Blazer games are equal. I know, this week’s our Super Bowl….
scrappy
by Honka Playboy on Feb 14, 2012 2:55 PM PST up reply actions
On a related note
I have a free ticket to the Clippers on Thursday. Most years, that would be a must-miss scenario, but this season they might actually be more entertaining than the home team.
For the right to sit in club level seats, drink free booze and eat free food, I have to put up with a “short vendor presentation”. I’ve been doing that for years, so, no problem.
Need some advice. Should I go? Will it be worth the drive from Salem? I mean, it’s not like I can drink all the free booze, since I have to drive back to Salem. (And it’s a single ticket, so, no designation.)
Or, is there someone willing to pretend they’re me and use the ticket, so I can sit in the recliner and watch the game on the plasma and drink all I want?
I've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to my life.
I don't have any good basketball heckles.
I've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to my life.
Whenever someone flops (IE anyone who plays for the Lakers) I shout “Come on, get up, it’s not soccer!”
He was still on the Lakers the last time I watched Space Jam.
Which was like a month ago. That movie holds up surprisingly well.
Addicted to Quack
Death before chastity!
by Takimoto on Feb 14, 2012 10:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Surprisingly good soundtrack.
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 10:38 PM PST up reply actions
Surprisingly?
If “I Believe I Can Fly” is on it, it’s a good album. Plus, Seal, Coolio, the Quad City DJs, and I think Busta Rhymes was involved somehow. It’s up there with Batman Forever and Empire Records for Best Soundtrack of the 90s.
Addicted to Quack
Death before chastity!
It's more fun to heckle at women's games.
There’s no one there, so the players and refs can actually hear you. Short haired female refs hate it when you call them “sir”, ICYWW.
Addicted to Quack
Death before chastity!
To the guards on washington's women's team:
“Hey you! You’re a little husky!
Addicted to Quack
Death before chastity!
To the forwards, "Hey, darlin', you're quite husky."
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Feb 14, 2012 11:12 PM PST up reply actions
I'd prefer to just call them all bitches.
I've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to my life.
by benzduck on Feb 15, 2012 1:00 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I love it
do it for a crappy pre season game so that there’s only a couple hundred there, like 20 of us just ripping the other team and the refs.
"Forget it. If 21 gets behind you, you can play the fight song." --Scott Van Pelt
[Will Auction Off Sig To Highest Bidder]
If you don't want to go
I will do you the favor of using your ticket. You owe me though.
"Forget it. If 21 gets behind you, you can play the fight song." --Scott Van Pelt
[Will Auction Off Sig To Highest Bidder]
the vendor will never know the difference
scrappy
by Honka Playboy on Feb 14, 2012 8:52 PM PST up reply actions
It doesn't have his name on it
…does it?
"Forget it. If 21 gets behind you, you can play the fight song." --Scott Van Pelt
[Will Auction Off Sig To Highest Bidder]
It ain't like one is goin' in to VOTE.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Feb 14, 2012 11:13 PM PST up reply actions
I know soccer is a sacrilege that doesn't count, but...
Timbers FC is a pro franchise that packs Jeld Wen with crazy fans every night. Nationally, yeah, people pretty much don’t care about MLS and soccer in general, but the local support is undeniable.
One year in the league,
let’s see how long that lasts. They lose, it’ll be just like the Blazers. I’d rather go watch a good co-ed softball game.
By the power of Grayskull, I have the power!
I am pretty sure they DID lose. They certainly didn't set the world on fire at least.
Plus, Jeld Wen holds just under 20K, so selling it out should be a sustainable feat.
I don't mean to impose...
History doesn't back up your argument very well.
The fan support did not arrive at the same time as the MLS. The Timbers previously spent 10 years in the USL, also a professional league. They failed to qualify for the playoffs three times, they went to the semis twice, and they never won a championship, yet their fan base continued to grow and played a huge part in the decision to join the MLS and renovate the stadium.
Enjoy your softball game.
MLS seems to be cobbling together a whole lot of "local support" markets.
I know soccer’s been trying to establish itself in the US for like fifty years or so, but there seems to be a lot of positive momentum right now, with it really growing in prominence. TV seems to have bought in a lot more in recent years. Particularly as a sport that runs through the often-dead summer months, it’s a great complement to MLB, or in markets like Portland, a good replacement.
Somewhere, somehow, a Duck is watching you.
I liked the Timbers better before they went to MLS.
They will do well in Portland win or lose, but there’s something about the new legitimacy and popularity that has ruined it all for me.
"Ain't no tuition for having no ambition." -Brandon Carswell
I will also take De'Anthony as my Valentine
I love all you say above and I say next to once in the R bar but I can bet De’Anthony would rather spend Valentine’s Day with me
"Valentines Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap." -Joel Barish "Eternal Sunshine For The Spotless Mind"

Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 10:38 AM PST reply actions
(Pours out some Mad Dog on the ground…may he always lock it down!)
For Oregon, King Kelly, and St Quack!
More appropriate
pour some weed out. Or perhaps bongwater.
If I could kiss Nick Holt, I would. Though, with him, I’m sure it would end in deep penetration and a score
I'm with you...
Terrell “Rollin’ Live with 45” Thomas
Terrell Thomas was probably my favorite all time.
by Brandon Duckerson on Feb 14, 2012 11:01 AM PST reply actions
Oh is there another Terrell?
I’m unfamiliar with “Terrell Turner”.
by Brandon Duckerson on Feb 14, 2012 11:18 AM PST up reply actions
Not to mention,
Tako seems oblivious to the fact that DeAngelo Thomas was the one to score that TD against WSU, not DeAnthony.
I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT LARRY SCOTT DID AND TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC INSTEAD - @DanBeebe
Also, do you remember how
Darron Thomas stole DeAngelo’s jersey during the Colorado game and caught all those Brian Bennett passes?
ATQ's #1 fan of WINNING THE ROSE BOWL
How could I forget?
That was nothing short of legendary.
I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT LARRY SCOTT DID AND TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC INSTEAD - @DanBeebe
He didn't get any of Fatty McFatterson's bday cake.
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 11:31 AM PST up reply actions
Is he the same guy as Fatty LaFatterson?
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
by Famous Duck on Feb 14, 2012 12:11 PM PST up reply actions
No
But they are distant cousins (I’m told).
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 12:48 PM PST up reply actions
How we wound up with De'Anthony Thomas
Like all long-term relationships, it began in high school. He was the captain of the football team, the most popular kid in school, and all set to go to the prom with the head cheerleader, who was not only a hot blonde but known to whip out a Trojan on the first date.
Before he could rent his tux, the cheerleader made a dare with him: Go out with the nerdy school up north instead, the one who always wears funky clothes that don’t match. Ask that school to prom, then TOTALLY dump them right before and all us popular kids will have a great laugh at their expense. It was the perfect plan.
But after De’Anthony made the offer and went on that first ‘dare’ date, he found out that we’re actually pretty hot once we take off our glasses and let our hair down. Add in some mirrored helmets and the fly sweep and we’re not so nerdy at all! What started as a cruel joke blossomed into something real.
But then our story takes a tragic turn. After sharing a heartfelt slow dance on prom night with his new found love, De’Anthony went to the party next door to tell the cheerleader that he was having second thoughts about their relationship and had real feelings for the other school. He was torn between his brain and his heart, much like that Wazzu defender trying to tackle him along the sideline.
As he walked into the party, he saw the cheerleader shoot a guy! He turned to flee, but it was too late, they saw him and marked his face. He ran in tears, realizing the school of his dreams was nothing but a dirty scoundrel. But even then, he wondered if it could work, maybe that was where he belonged anyway. Maybe he deserved this. When he got home, which took about 3 seconds, he turned on his computer and logged onto Facebook. There it was, in cruel black text on a white background: “I know what you saw. I put out a hit on you. And your family. Toodles!” He buried his face in his hands, knowing he could never stay here, it was over.
He wasn’t a punk, in fact, he was a good kid. But they forced his hand and the tragic end to their courtship forced him into the arms of another school. For that, we will always be grateful.
by JonathanPDX on Feb 14, 2012 11:47 AM PST reply actions 7 recs
Wow.
This starts out like Not Another Teen Movie, but it actually gets interesting at the end.
I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT LARRY SCOTT DID AND TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC INSTEAD - @DanBeebe
I was thinking the of the same reference
Also, recs, recs for everyone!
15-yard penalty for my avatar. /Pereira'd
by Brass-billed on Feb 15, 2012 7:09 AM PST up reply actions
Here's a drawing of Tako receiving a Valentine from the Black Mamba.

Now with mustache guarantee!
by HoodRiverDuck on Feb 14, 2012 11:50 AM PST reply actions 3 recs
Poor Ralph.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 11:51 AM PST up reply actions
He, legally, has to spend two more years in a Duck uniform before considering the NFL Draft
I wish this were true, but he could spend one year sitting and then another year in someone else’s uniform … why would you tempt fate like this?
And he's so fast, he'd warp time and space and be drafted this year.
That’s how he rolls.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 12:16 PM PST up reply actions
So he would do his entire college career in under 3 parsecs?
Michael Jackson: A million dollars. You feel me? Holla!
by Babablockhead on Feb 14, 2012 12:52 PM PST up reply actions
No, in 30 furlongs.
Or maybe 20,000 leagues. Why not? All the same, right? He’d finish college in 2 feet.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 1:11 PM PST up reply actions
Quick, consult the fan fiction!
I mean, knowledge base!
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 2:21 PM PST up reply actions
I think it a jillion cubits.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 3:13 PM PST up reply actions
And forget the fucking entropy argument AND Ted Nugent's Law
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
And "reality" and "science."
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 3:25 PM PST up reply actions
Ted Nugent has a law?
It must involve guns.
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
It's more of a clothes thang.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
As in, it is (or was) legal to go topless in Eugene?
The women who choose to go topless are not necessarily ladies you would like to see that much of?
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:16 PM PST up reply actions
That's kinda close actually but not to the mark:
More like it’s against Nugent’s Law for those who should not go topless to be topless – something like that.
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
He already did
The kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.
by doomsdaymachine on Feb 14, 2012 7:36 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Being that 6 parsecs in distance is 116 TRILLION miles,
and 12 parsecs is 6 parsecs shorter than the average spacecraft makes the run in the SW universe, I think rather than a lovable rogue in a very fast spacecraft, old Han was simply not a drooling cretin like EVERY SINGLE OTHER CAPTAIN FLYING apparently was.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 11:52 PM PST up reply actions
Well, two parsecs per parsec is pretty damn fast though.
I'm not here to cause no trouble, I'm just here to do the… well, I don't really know what I'm here to do.
by Bill Musgrave on Feb 15, 2012 5:14 AM PST up reply actions
In my craw
Like them or not, we call them fir trees. Maybe you call them pine trees in Frisco
That’s like growing up in Portland not liking pine trees
scrappy
Silly Tako.
"Screw them all" said Coach Chip Kelly, "trololololol lolol lol lol!
by BigGreenWreckingMachine on Feb 14, 2012 3:15 PM PST up reply actions
Why must you curse at us?
Today, of all days?
Go ahead and run around with your off-season rumors. I'll be at the corner of Wait and 'C'.
by DuckUntilDeath on Feb 14, 2012 4:09 PM PST up reply actions
What was it the protesting gays were singing?
"What you are entrusted to do as a coach is to create an environment where your players have a chance to be successful." CHIP KELLY
Oregon's birthday, you know. San Fran can try and steal our thunder but
RESPECT OUR TREES
scrappy
by Honka Playboy on Feb 14, 2012 8:58 PM PST up reply actions
Oregon blog bro, not Stanford
I'm not here to cause no trouble, I'm just here to do the… well, I don't really know what I'm here to do.
by Bill Musgrave on Feb 15, 2012 5:15 AM PST up reply actions
Notice how the silver shoes make him look like Sonic?
“too much speed”
Speed Endurance Talent is how Track Town USA plays football. Win The Day

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