So my birthday was just a couple weeks ago, and my wife gave me the greatest gift a human could receive from another human. Not a trip to Hawaii, not a new car, not a little bundle of joy. It was... a DVD of the Rose Bowl.

The words... should have sent... a poet... via www.nmnathletics.com

My brother, also a born and raised Duck, is coming into town to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. As you may know, it falls on a Saturday this year. I live in Chicago, a town which takes St. Pat's day pretty seriously. Things will be magnificent. By magnificent I mean I won't be able to sleep from all the drunks wandering outside my apartment alternating between yelling, punching, singing, and boning.

However, I want this time to be more magnificent. I, like most people with a drinking problem, enjoy a good drinking game. And what better way to celebrate with my brother than to indulge in a Rose Bowl Drinking Extravaganza! (Patent Pending).

This is where you come in, my gentle ATQ'ers. I leave it to you to choose our fate. Create for us, nay, for all the world, something which is worthy of being called the Rose Bowl Drinking Extravaganza! (Patent Pending). Leave your ideas in the comments section, and my brother and I will turn them into a memorable experience. A few words before you begin:

1) The Musberger game is in effect. Jtlight did a wonderful job on that, and I won't let it go to waste. Further announcer rules are encouraged.

Everytime he looks like this, you have to do a grain alcohol enema. via www.sportsgrid.com

2) I drink heavily, but don't try to cheap shot me. Drink every first down? Fine. Drink every snap? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

That's pretty much it. I'll be sure to share the tale of this evening when all is said and done. Goodnight Rose Bowl Champions!