FanPost

Pac10/12 Worst Of All Time Playoffs: Game One - 2008 UW vs 2000 USC

Ed. Note: Bumped to the front page because it's that awesome - dvieira

Now that we've all had a chance to fill out our brackets and schedule appropriate sick days, it's time to fire up the sim and find out who reigns subpreme. If you missed the conceptual framework, or just wonder WTF, click here. If you're too lazy to click, shame on you, but here's the concept: The worst Pac10/12 teams from each of the last 16 seasons is seeded into a four-round bracket, with game simulations generated via WhatIfSports.com.

The WOAT Playoffs - the battle for the Avezzano Cup, named for the legendary former Oregon State coach who, if his teams had been eligible, would almost certainly have qualified for six entries in the bracket -- kick off with the marquee game of the first round: The only USC team to ever finish in the conference cellar meets the only 0-9/0-12 team in conference history. The Huskies did it on the field, but can they do it where it counts? (There is some debate over whether the '08 UW team coached by the great Tyrone Willingham was even the worst team in the conference that season. Such was the state of football in the state of Washington. Oh well, at least they had the Sonics.)

How They Got Here

2000 USC (#16 seed): 5-7 / 2-7; Sports-Reference SRS: 4.37 (45th of 116) ▪ SOS: 6.94 (9th of 116)
PTS/G: 25.8 (59th of 116) ▪ Opp PTS/G: 28.1 (79th of 116)
Yardage: 415.9 gained, 343.0 allowed; YPP offense 5.6, defense 4.9; turnovers 3.0 / 1.4

Carson-palmer_mediumThe team that brought us Pete Carroll. The Trojans, led by lame duck Paul Hackett, were not without talent - they did have eventual Heisman winner and future frankfurter fellator Carson Palmer, healthy after having his collar and psyche broken in Autzen Stadium in the third game of 1999, along with Sultan McCullough, hailed by then-USC AD Mike Garrett as "the fastest man in the history of football" but now mostly remembered for misspelling his mother's name on a chest tattoo.

But the team is best known for introducing this guy to the sports world.

USC came into the 2000 season ranked #15, mostly on reputation, after going 6-6 in ‘99. A lethargic 29-5 August win over P*** S**** did little to excite any but the fan base, but attrition combined with unimpressive wins over Colorado and San Jose State allowed the Trojans to float as high as #8 AP.

Then the bottom fell out; starting with a loss to Oregon State (the first since 1967), USC dropped five straight, including a 28-16 home loss to a terrible Cal team, and lost its final five home games. Notre Dame earned the right to get slaughtered by OSU in the Fiesta Bowl with a 38-21 win that sealed Hackett's fate. Palmer set a team record with 18 interceptions.

Hackett was sacked shortly after the ND debacle, but he returns to coach the defective Trojans against...

2008 Washington (#1 seed): 0-12/ 0-9; SRS -12.08 (109th of 120); SOS 7.87 (1st)
PTS/G: 13.2 (118th of 120) ▪ Opp PTS/G: 38.6 (117th of 120)
Yardage: 263.2 gained, 451.8 allowed; YPP offense 4.0, defense 6.6; turnovers 2.3 / 0.8

This kind of says it all.

Winless: Salute to the 2008 Huskies (via HuskiesSuckDotCom)

In retrospect, maybe they really were this bad.

They probably shouldn't have been, although nobody was picking them for the first division; the Huskies caught a horrible break in game 2, hosting BYU, when Jake Locker excessively celebrated his potential late-game-tying TD into a 35 yard extra point. But they had other chances to get off the schneid and failed.

Two games later, future two-time pre-season Heisman winner Locker broke his thumb throwing a block on a reverse, leaving the team in the hands of Ronnie Fouch, and from there it was a matter of time. The only question that remained: which team would prevail in the Crapple Cup? (Wazzu, in double overtime.)

You have to wonder why Ty should have even cared what happened in 2008; he was still being paid by Notre Dame for not coaching the Irish, and Mark Emmert's vote of confidence after 2007 wasn't exactly a ringing one.

Benzduck's Line: USC -21

Results: USC 32 Washington 10

Tumblr_m7xuus8qww1r7xwi8o1_500_medium

USC cashed a fumble by Brandon Johnson on UW's second play from scrimmage and coasted to the easy victory, sending Washington to the second round. Sultan McCullough shredded Washington's alleged defense for 229 yards on 30 carries and three TDs. Ronnie Fouch was sacked four times and the Trojan D forced four turnovers.

Here's how the sim says USC ran out the clock:

2000 USC (USC) at 2:51

2:51

1/10

own 44

10 - 32

122

MacKenzie picks his way for 2 yards.

2:23

2/8

own 46

10 - 32

221

McCullough gains 10 yards on a sweep left.

1:53

1/10

44

10 - 32

131

MacKenzie picks his way for 13 yards.

1:22

1/10

31

10 - 32

212

Palmer takes a knee.

0:55

2/11

32

10 - 32

212

Palmer takes a knee.

0:28

3/12

33

10 - 32

212

Palmer takes a knee.

0:01

4/13

34

10 - 32

212

Papadakis pounds ahead for 9 yards.

End of 4th Quarter ... 2008 Washington: 10 2000 USC: 32

Silly Petros, always having to have the last word.

2008 Washington advances to the next round, while USC advances to a large number of vacated games.

Tumblr_m7xwalorpq1r7xwi8o1_500_medium

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of SB Nation or the Addicted To Quack Moderators. FanPost opinions are valued expressions of opinion by passionate and knowledgeable Oregon fans.

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