TAKE THESE BROKEN WINGS AND LEARN TO FLY AGAIN

YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT DANA ALTMAN WASN'T THE LEAD SINGER OF MR. MISTER, CAN YOU? SEE? YOU CAN'T.

Oregon basketball went from potential top-3 NCAA seed to fringe NIT team in what felt like a heartbeat; a 2-6 January, in which the team looked disinterested in both scoring and preventing scoring, made the 12-0 2013 feel like a hypoglycemia-induced hallucination, minus the cold sweats and lethargy. Halfway through the Pac-12 season, Oregon sits at 3-6 in conference, with their only wins over the three worst teams in the conference, and an extremely tough schedule ahead.

But this is February. Thanks to even-more flailing USC, Oregon's already got one win under their belt. Next up: Arizona, who is beat up after their 21-1 start, coming perilously close to an 0-2 trip to the Bay Area last week (though, to be fair, they were really close to a 2-0 Bay Area trip too). The Wildcats lost forward Brandon Ashley for the season to a broken foot, and leading scorer Nick Johnson went 1-14 shooting against Cal while fighting through a wrist injury. If there's a time to beat Arizona on its home floor, it's now. And call me crazy, but Oregon's got the guard depth to hang with Jahii Carson and Arizona State. Even a split on the trip is a win, and Oregon comes home to three winnable games against the rest of the Northwest. Four out of five wins puts Oregon at 7-7 and and re-swaggered for their trip to the LA schools. Can the team that tactically broke down teams like Ole Miss, Georgetown, and Illinois split those last four games (@UCLA and USC, home against ASU and 'Zona) to finish 9-9 in conference? I think they can. And I am the treasurer of the Unabashed and Woefully Uninformed Fanboys of America, and we are always right.

But how do the Ducks pull off this miracle turnaround?


BABY, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY WE JUST CAN'T GUARD, ZONE OR MAN TO MAN
THIS TIME, MIGHT BE THE LAST
UNLESS WE MAKE MORE SHOTS
MAYBE FROM THREEEEEEEEEEE

TAKE, THESE BROKEN WINGS!
AND LEARN TO FLY AGAIN,
LEARN TO WIN SO FREE

AND WHEN WE HEAR
THE VOICES SING
THE BIG DANCE WILL OPEN UP, AND LET US IN
TAKE, THESE BROKEN WIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS

DANA, I THINK TONIGHT
WE CAN TAKE WHAT WAS WRONG
AND MAKE IT RIGHT

DANA, IT'S ALL I KNOW
THAT TO GET TO THE LINE
YOU GO TO THE HOLE
WOAHHHHH-WOOOOOOOOOAH
AND IF YOU'RE COOOOOOOOOLD...

TAKE, THOSE BRICKIN' THREES
AND REEEEBOUND THEM
MOSER, COOK, AMARDIIIIIII

AND WHEN YOU DO
PUT THEM BACK IN
AND THEN THE TOURNEY OPENS UP AND LETS YOU IN

BABY, WHAT I DO KNOW
YOU'VE GOT JUST NINE GAMES LEFT
SO GET ON WITH THE SHOW
YEAH YEAAAAAAAAAAH
YEAH YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

SO TAKE THESE LAST FEW GAMES
AND WIN SOME MORE OF THEM
SO WE WON'T ALL COMPLAIN

AND WHEN YOU DO,
WE ALL WILL SING
WE KNEW IT ALL ALONG CUZ WE ARE FILTHY LIARS

TAKE THESE BROKEN WIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS

/drinks vodka from a briefcase

/gazes at sassy eagle

/jumps off cliff, probably

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