Dear Ernie,
Hey Ernie. I know it has been quite awhile since I've written you and I feel bad about that. I really should make more positive time for you but things have been pretty busy at work lately. I'm sure you can understand. I know it's been a nightmare the last few months for you as well, what with all of those people saying all of those nasty things about you. Don't worry, the ferrets are fine including little Ernie. He asks about you often and wonders when you are going to come visit again. He liked the greenie you brought him.
Why am I writing? I'm worried about our relationship. We've had 9 solid years together with plenty of memories. Some good...some bad. Hey, remember that time back in 2002 when we went undefeated at home and won the Pac-10 title? We even went on to the Elite Eight and ended the season with a number 6 ranking in the country! Oh and remember when Luke Ridnour was Pac-10 Player of the year in 2003? Remember when you got me that present in 2007? I know you remember it, it was that upset of #1 UCLA at the Pit! Can you believe it was just yesterday that we were 18-1? I love remembering those good times.
But Ernie, there were bad times too. Remember 2004-2006? We had a lot of arguments then and I thought we were going to break up. I was almost ready to call it off right then and there but I'm glad we stuck with it. Not many relationships last past 3-4 years anymore and you...I've always thought we had something special.
Look, I don't know what I'm trying to say Ernie but...I think I need something to change. I know, I know. You told me this year was going to be pretty tough but after 0-9 in the Pac-10 season, I'm just not sure how much more I can take! I understand things are rough at work but I need attention too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pretty enough for you anymore. Has the spark left our relationship? I want to stick with you, I really do but people are starting to talk and...well, I just don't know if I can defend you anymore.
If you want to work this out, please show me a sign...any sign. I can only give 8, maybe 9 more chances to see some sort of hope for our relationship.
XOXOXO
Oregon Basketball Fans
PS: Please talk to your buddy Mark and tell him to stop calling me. I know he looks like he has bling but honestly, he has no substance.