Rumors are running rampant about the next Oregon basketball coach, including the big fish: Tom Izzo, as the highest paid college hoops coach of all time. So it's clear that cost is not an issue here. As you know, we are are also without an athletic director. So I'd like to put my seal of approval on the following people as hires.
[Edit]: Keg Stickers have been updated.
Head Basketball Coach: The Ultimates
Phil Jackson
via thebestten.files.wordpress.com
The Zen Master takes his laid-back style to a laid-back hippie town. It would be THE biggest coaching hire in college sports history. What would it take? $20 million a year? 30 million? Money well spent. Every recruiting exchange would go like this:
PJ: Hi, I'm Phil Jackson, and I'd like you to come play at Oregon.
Recruit: Yes.
There is no bigger hire the program could possibly make. Except maybe...
Jesus
via missanthropy.files.wordpress.com
Yeah, that's right. Jesus. Imagine the headlines:
- This Duck Can Walk On Water
- Oregon Men's Basketball is Resurrected
- Manger to Matt
Needless to say, this would be awesome. His coaching acumen remains to be seen, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. He's the son of God.
Head Basketball Coach: The Wildcards
Pat Summitt/Geno Auriemma
You want a big name? Here you go. This is news of the groundbreaking kind, and the first opportunity we have to see one of the bigger questions in college sports: can a high-profile women's coach succeed at the men's level? For a school that prides itself on innovation, here's another chance to continue that tradition. I think Pat Summitt would be easier to pry away (two straight years not making the Final Four! OMG!).
Head Basketball Coach: LOL!
Tony Bennett
How fun would this be? Only one year after he leaves the Palouse for the East Coast, we hire him right back into the Pac-10. Remember how annoying it was to play Tony Bennett-coached WSU teams? You never felt comfortable, you almost had to beat him as his game. Now we can have that game! Suck it Cougs! We know he can recruit in the Northwest, he's a great defensive coach, and he's just so dreamy!
Athletic Director
Phil Knight
He's filthy rich, he's a shrewd businessman, he loves his Ducks. But I think he's better off as a donor that flies his helicopter around and acts silly.
Kurt Widmer
via www.wweek.com
Now this is what I'm talking about! Oregon grad, experience growing a business, has a brother he can pawn the brewery off on while he's the AD. And...he MAKES BEER! Done and done.
I've got a cold and feel like crap so I'm going to bed. Keg Stickers up in the morning. Booyah.
Keg Stickers!
It's been a while, hasn't it? First off, thanks to Matt Daddy for his Sunday Conversation as a way to relieve the pain of not having a Tako Tuesday for two weeks. Dave gets one for saying what we all were thinking in his Open Letter to PJ Carlesimo. Gorby gets one for nailing the TP-shooting-from-an-airplane caption, and HoodRiverDuck, JonathanPDX, and Matt Daddy get one for the funniest art show submissions.
Bill Musgrave - 4
Matt Daddy - 4
Gorbachav5 - 3
JonathanPDX - 3
Addicted to Quack - 2
Takimoto - 1
ntrebon - 1
echo31 - 1
CaDuck - 1
trumpetduck - 1
HoodRiverDuck - 1
QuackinAK - 1
jtlight - 1
benzduck - 1
axemen23 - 1
JShufelt - 1
AllSaintsDay - 1