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Tako Tuesdays: Welcome to the Eugene School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 made over a half-billion dollars worldwide this past weekend. It broke The Dark Knight's record for domestic gross, making 169.2 million dollars in the US. So naturally, it needs its own Tako Tuesday. 

This ATQ Fantasy Draft has got me fantasy crazy. Wait, that came out wrong. OK, it's accurate. My point is this: what if Oregon and Hogwarts were one and the same, and we could create a Quidditch team using the Ducks' current athletes?

And for those of you that aren't into Harry Potter, yes, this is absolutely happening. If you were looking forward to reading something not nerdy today, look elsewhere. 

If you aren't familiar with Quidditch, Wiki yourself some knowledge. The lineup is is set as such:

  • 3 Chasers - in charge of scoring goals with the Quaffle.
  • 2 Beaters - in charge of protecting their teammates from the Bludgers, and directing the Bludger at members of the opposing team.
  • 1 Keeper - in charge of protecting the three goal rings from the Chasers
  • 1 Seeker - if the Seeker catches the Golden Snitch, his team is awarded 150 points and the game is over.

Let's go over my starting roster:

Chaser #1 - Jordan Hasay A good chaser needs a combination of speed and stamina, and the women's track team's fastest rising star is a great start to my squad.

Chaser #2 - Jessica Moore Softball's #1 starter would possess a heck of a shot with the Quaffle. A 24-11 record in 2011 = lots and lots of goals. Hufflepuff's keeper doesn't stand a chance.

Chaser #3 - Darron Thomas Like Jessica Moore, DT has a cannon, and an accurate one. He has mobility, ginormous hands, and a killer instinct.

Beater #1 - Eugene Wong The Ducks' #1 golfer, an NCAA All-American, and the owner of one of the most dangerous swings on campus.

Beater #2 - Ryon Healy Healy had an .889 OPS last year, with a .320 batting average and 15 extra base hits. He'd be a natural at redirecting bludgers into Slytherin faces.

Keeper - Tyrone Nared You think the soccer keeper would be the smart choice. You'd be wrong. When you've got a 6'8" guy with an 8' wingspan (estimated) who can jump out of the building, you put his ass on a broom and you put him in front of those goals.

Seeker - LaMichael James Was there any other choice? Catching the Snitch is all about quickness, and there's no better choice than the notorious LMJ.

You job in the comments: come up with your own Quidditch roster, only this time, you can use any Oregon athlete IN HISTORY!