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THIS DIRIGIBLE BE ON AND POPPIN!

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WHATUP GANGSTAS?

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SCOTT MUH-F***IN' FROST IN THE BUILDING! HOLLA!

So listen, imma bout to get real up in here. Ya'll know me well enough already: Scott Frost, wide receivers coach and recruiting wizard, national championship-winning quarterback, the only man proven stronger than LeGarrette Blount, and a stone cold fox. But here's something you don't know: I can fly.

You heard me, fool. Flight. Foreal.

Now, it ain't like I'm just flapping my wings and going airborne. Come on, that shit's crazy. Naw, I roll in one of these:

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The HMS Keep-It-Frosty. Feast ya eyes. Haters? You just jealous.

Until you been up in one of these, you can't even say shit. There's no feeling like floating in the clouds, wind whipping through your hair. There's nobody around, no hassles, no cares. It's an escape from the endless grocery store checkout line of life, when you can go where you want, when you want, and no one can tell you otherwise. It's freedom. Pure, uncut, straight from the source freedom.

Plus, you know how much tail I pull with this thing? Ladies love airships. And don't nobody have a airship like my airship.

But I ain't here to talk about how much ladies love me, or how clean my dirigible is, or my piercing blue eyes and ripped pectorals. I could do that all day, but I won't. I'm here to talk about THE EVENT OF THE CENTURY.

SCOTT FROST'S 1ST ANNUAL BLIMPOCALYPSE JAMFEST

THAT'S RIGHT EUGENE, SCOTT MUH-FUCKING FROST IS BRINGING THE FUNK BACK TO AEROSTATIC APPARATUS! MARK YA CALENDARS: APRIL 2ND, THE NIGHT BEFORE SPRING PRACTICE STARTS, THE DIRIGIBLE RISES AND THE PARTY DROPS!

I'M LOOKING FOR THE 50 MOST DIEHARD DUCK FANS TO JOIN ME IN THE GONDOLA FOR A NIGHT OF DRiNK, DANCING, AND SPITTING ON PEOPLE FROM 1000 FEET UP. SPECIAL GUESTS MAY INCLUDE:

  • FORMER OREGON GREATS GEORGE WRIGHSTER AND JOEY HARRINGTON!
  • ESPN ANCHOR NEIL EVERETT!
  • OREGON LEGEND DON ESSIG, AND HIS MAGICAL DISAPPEARING BOTTLE OF GLENLIVET!
  • ROCK GOD SAMMY HAGAR!
  • TV STAR ERIK ESTRADA!
AND OUR SPECIAL CELEBRITY PILOT FOR THE NIGHT: FORMER DUCK CB CLIFF HARRIS! THIS BLIMP CAN'T GET TO 118 MILES/HOUR, BUT YOU'RE STILL GONNA SEE SOME SERIOUS SHIT!

SO DUCK FANS, WHAT I NEED YA'LL TO DO IS TELL ME, WHY YOU DESERVE TO BE ON MY BLIMP? WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU A BETTER DUCK FAN THAN THE REST? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS, OR TWEET @addictedtoquack WITH THE HASHTAG #SCOTTFROSTBLIMPJAM. IT'S ABOUT TO BE OFF THE HOOK, YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT. HOLLABACK!