Dear ESPN,
It has recently come to our attention that you have created a new ESPN Insider page for the Ducks. That is commendable. Unfortunately, I cannot give your new page a look. I must request also request that my readers stay away as well. You see, there is a problem. You have given this page the name "Duck Nation" (it feels wrong to even type that). Lets forget that the name is mind-numbingly boring and unoriginal. The problem is that there isn't a "Duck Nation," and there will never be a "Duck Nation." Sure, there is a Beaver Nation and a Bruins Nation and a Red Sawx Nation, but like the Sasquatch and unicorns, there is no "Duck Nation" except in the misguided minds of the uninformed. Not only do we not identify ourselves as a "Duck Nation," but the very term and concept is something we despise and abhor, and reference to the term immediately identifies one as an outsider. And while we don't expect you to know every detail of Duck fandom, any kind of basic market research should have been able to tell you that your choice of a name was beyond terrible.
So, ESPN, I have made two requests of my readers here at ATQ. The first is to flood your feedback page with messages letting you know that the name of this site simply cannot be allowed to stand. The second is to encourage them to boycott the new site until the problem is rectified. You see, ESPN, you at least have to give the illusion that you care about the product and about your readers, especially when you are asking them to pay for Insider subscriptions to view your product. The name "Duck Nation" thoroughly implies that you do not.
Regards,
Dave