Day #4000. It has arrived. It feels... good, I guess?
The #LastTimeUwBeatUO trope will never not be funny. The last time UW beat UO, The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were Super Bowl champs, and the Florida Marlins were World Series champions. If a UO student spent his 21st birthday bemoaning a Ducks loss, he'd now be a 31 year old man, full of smug. If a jubilant Washington couple fornicated irresponsibly on November 1st, 2003, that child wouldn't have very many friends. It's great, and I love it. But the last thing I want to see is Oregon fans going, "4000 days? That sounds pretty dominant. It's probably time to stop hating Washington." But can you imagine what would happen if other people through history had stopped at 4000?
- If George Lucas had stopped making Star Wars at 4000 seconds, the saga would have ended with Alderaan unavenged, and the Millennium Falcon captured by the Death Star. No trash compactor, no scoundrels, no "Great shot kid, don't get cocky," no Grand Moff Tarkin exploding in his moment of triumph, and forget about the sequels. Can you imagine how many more antibiotic-resistant strains of STDs there would be if Star Wars was a flop, and thousands more would-be nerds were out getting laid in the late 1970s? Have mercy.
- What if The Proclaimers has stopped walking at 4000 feet? That's less than a mile, well short of the 500 needed to fall down at your door. No way they'd be the ones havering* with you.
- If Seattle's favored son Macklemore had stopped at 4000 hours instead of continuing to 10,000, he wouldn't have given us Thrift Shop, and we wouldn't have scores of white kids wandering the streets in fur coats, long johns, and sombreros. Wait, no, I'd love it if that never happened. Bad example. God damnit, Seattle, you can't do anything right!
- If Galen Rupp had stopped at 4000 meters, he wouldn't be an Olympic silver medalist.
- If the kids from Rent had stopped measuring their year at 4000 minutes, instead of 525,600, they'd have moved out of the Village after dinner on January 3rd, leaving ample room for rampant gentrification. That happened anyway, but in this scenario Roger doesn't write his one great song, and save Mimi from death by AIDS with it. And don't look at me like that, you're the uncultured one. Turn off Jim Rome and go see a show, you cave-dwelling knuckle-dragger.
- Can you imagine if there were only 4000 Maniacs? That's like, way too few maniacs.
- The Titanic decided to come to rest 4000 yards below sea level. Jules Verne went 20,000 leagues under the sea. Way to just give up, frozen white people.
See what I mean? Letting up at 4000 is soft. It may have been nearly eleven years since the purple-suited canines beat the Ducks, but as Rusty so aptly put yesterday, we can't forget our roots as the doormats, the scrawniest kids in class being picked on by the big bad Huskies. 4000 days since a Husky win is an amazing achievement. Let's go for another 4000, and then 4000 more after that.