(4) Baylor: 27
West Virginia: 41
FINALLY. If Oregon can’t go undefeated, then their imitation version better not. Fat Bryce Petty is no longer in Heisman contention. For consolation, Baylor will likely build a statue in his honor sometime next year. Baylor is known to erect statues of players prematurely. Not having a conference championship game is realllly going to hurt the one loss Big 12 teams. What a shame.
(14) Kansas State: 31
(11) Oklahoma: 30
Watching Oklahoma and their blue chip, All-American recruits lose to Kansas States group of 2 stars and Junior College transfers will never get old. Also, who would win in a fight between Bill Snyder and Tom Coughlin? My money is on Iron Bill.
*Not his real nickname. I completely made that up.
(8) Michigan State: 56
Oregon has finally surpassed Michigan State in the polls. The fact that MSU was ever ranked above the Ducks is mind-boggling. If the Spartans never collapsed in the 2nd half against the Ducks, they’d still be undefeated and in great position to make the playoff. Their chances now are slim. Oh well, Michigan State! Better luck next year.
(21) Texas A&M: 0
(7) Alabama: 59
Kenny Hill was kicked out of a bar this past Thursday night for being too intoxicated. Now, Kenny might be benched. Kenny seems to be all about that life. He should have foregone collegiate athletics entirely, joined a fraternity and began an unrivaled intramural football dynasty. There, they don’t care if you’re too inebriated to function. In fact the more destruction you do to your liver via copious amounts of drinking, the more popular you’ll be! Fly Johnny Backup in from Cleveland to give Kenny a good talking to. Manziel probably hit the town five nights a week back at A&M, but at least that kid can still be productive while being a degenerate. Take notes, Kenny.
(10) Georgia: 45
Dawg fans are going to be heartbroken when they have to endure another loss in the SEC championship game this year. How is Georgia still only with one loss after the Gurley suspension? The answer lies in their schedule. THEY HAVEN’T PLAYED ANYONE. Every year it’s the same story in the SEC. The teams in the west bloody and maim each other over who will earn the right to represent the division. Meanwhile Georgia, in the east, has the likes of Kentucky and Tennessee essentially gifting them the division every year. Then, after the stomping at the hands of Alabama, their fans are somehow devastated and shocked.
(15) Oklahoma State: 9
(12) TCU: 42
J.W. Walsh just isn’t your guy, Cowboy fans. I don’t care how much his name reminds you of T. Boone Pickens. Brandon Weeden should have stayed in school for a few more years. He’s only like 35 now, right? He had so much eligibility left! Oklahoma State would have had a dynasty on their hands.
(24) Clemson: 17
Boston College: 13
USC admires your tremendous feat, Clemson.
(13) Ohio State: 56
Somehow a Braxton Millerless Buckeye team is much easier to root for. Then I realized Urban Meyer is still their coach. I’m going to lay off the Big 10 jabs because there is no way a team from that conference will be represented in this year’s playoff. They are way off the grid, and frankly unworthy of discussion. Rutgers is apparently in the Big 10 now too. I just learned that. In my eyes, Rutgers exists solely so the Patriots can misguidedly draft one of their players every year because they love those east coast guys despite the region being piss poor for football talent. TOM BRADY WILL MAKE THAT KID A STAW.
(19) Nebraska: 38
Did any of you honestly care about the outcome of this game? Yeah, neither did I.
(5) Notre Dame: 27
(2) Florida State: 31
Commence the Notre Dame complaints. Note to Irish fans, you weren’t making it to the playoff this year anyway. Not with your entire run game seemingly evolving around Cam McDaniel. Despite proving to be completely unmatched against teams loaded with athleticism, Notre Dame still elects to stick with their usual recruiting strategy, which is get as many burly and slow Midwestern farm boys as possible. I love how the NBC sycophants who broadcast the Notre Dame games praise Everett Golson’s leave of absence from Notre Dame as if it was by choice. You'd think he took a year off to build houses for orphans in Ecuador. Rumor has it he was suspended for either cheating on a test, or was unable to meet the minimum GPA requirement. Jameis Winston managed to not do anything stupid this past week, so let’s give it up for him.