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National Review: meet the new boss, same as the old

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Shocking few people, Bama beat Mississippi State like they have the last 7 times. How does this affect Oregon's chances? Is FSU going to go 12-0? This week, we attempt to answer none of these things.

Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Alabama doesn't shock anyone in completely predictable win

Pictured: Dak Prescott vs. Alabama

Yep, Alabama won almost precisely like everyone thought they would: stopping the run, forcing Dak Prescott to pass (and that not going well, to the tune of 3 interceptions) and slowly, but surely, moving the ball down the field and getting points here and there when it was convenient for them to do so. The only question is whether or not Mississippi State gets dropped out of the top 4 completely. Fortunately, they've got those great wins against Auburn and LSU to fall back on and HEY STOP LAUGHING

Auburn loses second straight as Georgia romps

Todd Gurley was lost for the season, but that didn't stop Georgia from doing whatever it wanted on offense and completely shutting down Auburn.

Arkansas gets their very first win in the SEC under Bret Bielema

And Texas A&M loses to Missouri

Between that, Mississippi State's great wins are against a 3-loss Auburn, a 4-loss LSU and a 4-loss A&M squad. That...doesn't look so good. The committee has been so far fairly sane, so I suspect MSST is going to be out of the CFP come Tuesday.

What about the other top 4 team, TCU?

Really? You needed a kick return to beat Kansas? Well, good job dodging that bullet I guess, but the CFP doesn't take kindly to close calls against bad teams.

Naturally that meant ASU had a great chance to move up to the top 4 and show a dominant win over OSU YOU'RE LAUGHING AGAIN STOP THAT STAHP

Well, they had their shot. So who is next?

Ohio State beats the mighty Gophers

Yeah, there's really nothing else to be said about this. Ohio State beat a team whose coach eats ice cream bars in a snow storm.

Meanwhile, we have the most hated team in the history of ever, who is somehow making the college football fandom root for Notre Dame, Miami and Bobby Petrino's Louisville teams to beat them.

We come to Florida State vs. Miami.

Florida State looks precisely like the 2012 Notre Dame team - a team with fairly meh wins over okay teams, pulling out wins from nowhere and having a completely entitled fanbase. And they'll probably be #1 or #2 this week, and realistically have no shot to lose another game this season.

Clemson, of course, showed no sign of life in their game against Georgia Tech.

And then there was the bad news.

Melvin Gordon wins Heisman, basically

I know that we're pretty committed to Marcus Mariota winning, and normally he would be a great candidate, but Melvin Gordon just broke the single game NCAA record against the 19th best rushing defense in the nation in 3 quarters of play. Expect that Mariota loses no matter what Mariota does from this point on, and know that Mariota lost to a running back whose single game's amazing performance will almost certainly never be eclipsed in our lifetime.

Finally, while this is not normally part of the national review, here's Utah beating Stanford.

Man, that's satisfying.