CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: 2012 Things Of Beauty vs. 2014 These Things Go To Eleven
Is it really any wonder that both finalists sport our actual school colors? Oregon wears the so-called neutrals as well as anybody, but let's be honest: we're all green and yellow at heart.
ONE LAST TIME: TO THE MODELING RUNWAY!
2012 Things Of Beauty
Photo credit: Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images
Time: September 1, 2012.
Result: Oregon 57, Arkansas State 34.
Bracket victims: Things Of Ugly, We Mean It This Time, Kelly. Chip Kelly, Liquid Metal, Silverdome.
Laundry: Lo, the primary deity of 8theism (h/t legalduck!) looks his most resplendent when ensconced in the Holy Papal Robes of Eugene, which by decree are green and yellow. His flock of ducks, his field of battle, and the Divine Floodlights of Autzen reflect gorgeously in his winged helm. The Blessed Oblate Spheroid awaits its mission, cradled in...OK, this is getting a little weird, guys. Even for me.
I will say though, from top to bottom, this uniform is beyond much reproach. This is probably the best football helmet ever worn on a sunny day in September. You can quibble with the candyappleness of the green, but it's a green jersey with yellow numbers, and probably the best-looking shoulder wings we have. The pants are the exact shade of yellow as the number and the helmet. And the socks and cleats the exact green of the jersey. Even the undergear matches the shoulder wings. This is how you do a football uniform, everybody. It's innovative AND traditional, it's perfectly balanced. It's truly a thing of beauty.
2014 These Ones Go To Eleven
Photo credit: Steve Dykes/Getty Images
Time: October 18, 2014.
Result: Oregon 45, Washington 20.
Bracket victims: Sweet Jesus These Things Are Ugly, Stop Me If You've Seen This One Before, Chimera, How Could We Lose When We Look This Awesome?
Laundry: Throwback haters gonna hate on throwbacks. Why on Earth they'd hate on this one is beyond me. It's a perfect nod to our past, commemorating the most historic occasion in all of Oregon football lore. To this very day in our weird little corner of the internet, we still pay homage to Jerry Allen's call of The Pick on a regular basis. It deserved to graduate from the Jumbotron to the field eventually. I want to know how hard Oregon lobbied the Pac-12 schedulers to give us Washington precisely the same week as the 20th anniversary, and I also want to know if UW had any freaking clue.
The uniform itself? As perfectly balanced as its competitor, but with white flair instead of black. Again, you can argue the actual shade of green or yellow, but they go exceedingly well together, regardless. It has a helmet stripe, and that matters to some
weirdos people around here, for better or worse. And I guess some of us may see Donald Duck as somewhat demeaning to the speech impaired of the world, or see Disney as a faceless, assimilating corporate automaton from which we should divorce ourselves. But to that, I say, "Aw, phooey!" (Which Disney Wiki totally tells me is a Donald Duck catch phrase. Thanks, internet!)
Lastly, here's the link to the Google Sheet of the bracket, for those of you who want to check on the latest tallies, or simply reminisce about all the time we've wasted on this over the past month.
POLL WILL CLOSE NOVEMBER 29, 2014.