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Why You Should Hate: Arizona Edition, Part II

Sports tend to bring out hate in even the most introspective and civilized of fans. Whether your team is playing their long-time rival or a pitiful underdog, there's always room to hate.

By JohnnySoccer
Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

This one will be short and sweet, and frankly, of very little quality. Enjoy!

First off, shout out to Kevin Hogan for going full on Eli Manning (Super Bowl edition), against UCLA, to give Duck fans the rematch they all wanted.

In case you forgot, this is what happened the last time these two teams met:

Then I received a bunch of nasty comments and emails from Arizona fans! Oh the travesty! Nothing grinds my gears more than mean emails, LET ME TELL YOU.

Their record since October 2nd: 2 losses! After Oregon, they lost their next game to USC on a missed field goal. I'm chalking that up to karma for the "Hill Mary" game. Two weeks later they lost to UCLA. They scored a TD early in the first quarter, which ended up being their only points the entire game. Not good, boys. Just remember, Duck fans who may be anxious about Friday's game; Arizona should have lost to lowly Cal and Washington.

Their coach: Yup, it's still Rich Rodriguez. Rich Rod looks pretty darn appealing now doesn't he, Michigan? Unsurprisingly, Rich Rod turned perpetual plain Jane Arizona Wildcat football into a SEXAY 10-win team with a chance to win the conference. Regardless of the outcome from the game though, you can bet your ass his name will be rumored to coach elsewhere next season. I have a suggestion, Rich! Come coach my Niners so I can see someone other than Phil Dawson put points on the board! I want THIS in S.F.

Key players, aka players to hate: This guy.

Yes, his self-given nick name is 'Two Star Scoob'. I'm convinced Scooby isn't made up of carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, etc. like the rest of us. I think he's made of motivational quotes and creatine. No one has a bigger chip on their shoulder than Scooby Wright, so KEEP DOUBTING HATERZ. Fun fact: Scooby has a tattoo that reads something along the lines of, "May God have mercy on my enemies because I won't. (I'm paraphrasing of course.) If I had to guess, Scooby's next tattoo will be on his other bicep and read, "TALK SHIT GET HIT." Scooby acts like he was the ONLY player in history to ever get shafted by scouts. Here's the thing, Scooby; there were guys who didn't get a single Division 1-A offer that went on to have successful careers in the NFL. You being labeled a 2-star recruit is not some sort of tragic injustice. (But I'M SURE your 20 tackle games against teams like Ukiah deserved you far more praise, Scoob). Also, the best player in the country right now was a three-star. You'll be playing against him Friday. But Marcus Mariota doesn't mention how overlooked he was every five-minutes like Scooby Wright.

More inspiration complementary of Scooby:

I don't think that was a sarcastic #blessed either.

Meet Jared Tevis. Like Scooby Wright, he too seems like he would enjoy a Metal Mulisha clearance sale.

Us against the world? I'm pretty sure the majority of college football fans were rooting for Arizona to upset Oregon. But ok, if you say so.

Jared loves himself some war analogies.

Oh, and WR, Samajie Grant got a DUI and WILL NOT START FRIDAY. Rich Rod is really dropping the discipline hammer with this one. Regardless, get your shit together, Samajie. As a fellow ASL man, I expect better from you.

Their basketball program: Gave us all Jason Terry and his annoying antics. Seriously, when is that man going to retire? I could have sworn he was in his forties. They are also responsible for Luke Walton. Luke Walton gave my delusional younger self a false sense of hope of making it to the NBA. I would watch him brick about five ill advised turn-around jumpers a game and think to myself, "That guy is shit! I can make it to the NBA. I'd at least be better than him!" Then I realized you can only be terrible and make it to the league if you're 6'7, like Luke Walton. Figures.

In closing, this edition is for YOU, folks. Let's hear YOUR reasons to hate Arizona...

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