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The Week 5 QuackPoll Huddles Together for Warmth

By conserving body heat, some of us may make it to December alive.

Derick E.Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

This week was weird. It started with Kansas State handing Auburn a win on Thursday night. Saturday wasn't much better. Oregon looked shaky, Florida State played sans-Jameis, and Alabama let Florida score 21 points. 21 points! Florida scoring 21 is like Oregon scoring 80,000. But what would that do to the QuackPoll? Let's take a look.

Rank Team Points Change
1 Oregon (2) 239 0
2 Florida State (4) 237 0
3 Oklahoma (2) 233 0
4 Texas A&M (2) 223 0
5 Alabama 207 0
6 Baylor 194 -1
7 Auburn 189 +1
8 Mississippi State 175 +26
9 Ole Miss 156 +1
10 Notre Dame 152 -1
11 Michigan State 150 +1
12 Arizona State 123 -1
13 Georgia 113 +1
14 South Carolina 110 -1
15 Stanford 93 0
16 BYU 92 +2
17 UCLA 69 -1
18 LSU 66 -11
19 Utah 62 +2
20 East Carolina 59 +12
21 Wisconsin 52 -1
22 Duke 49 +2
23 Nebraska 43 -2
24 USC 42 +4
25 Marshall 25 +2

Also receiving votes: Arizona (24), Kansas State (23), Ohio State (21), Oklahoma State (12), Pitt (3), Penn State (2), Boston College (1)

Dropped out: Missouri, Kansas State, California

***

The top 5 remains the same, but the gap between the teams has shrunk considerably. Last week, Oregon held a 27 point lead over #3 Oklahoma, and a 48 point lead over #5 Alabama. This week, those leads are down to 6 and 32 points, respectively. The Ducks also lost four first-place votes, two each to Oklahoma and Texas A&M.

I don't have anything to say about the following part of the poll, other than it looks funny.

Screen_shot_2014-09-23_at_10.36.57_pm_medium

Check that out. Four different pas de deux, the teams switching back and forth so gracefully. And Mississippi State has crash-landed right in the middle of all of them. It's like Swan Lake, starring the Jabbawockeez. Very strange.

***

Drunk this week: Nobody. I know, it's like we all ran out of booze on Saturday night. But everyone's polls, power ranking or resume, makes at least a modicum of sense. I'm disappointed also.

Lazy this week: There isn't a clear lazy man this week either, because frankly I don't feel like digging hard enough to find one. Wait, that makes me the lazy man! Problem solved.

Sheep this week: Chris damn near hit the AP Top 10 on the nose, switching Baylor and A&M, and Michigan State and Notre Dame. Close counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and the Sheep of the Week.

***

THE BIAS LIST

Blogger Loves Hates
Tako Utah (#9) Michigan State (#17)
Chris Auburn (#5) South Carolina (#23)
Brandon Arizona State (#8) Auburn (#11)
Ryan Georgia (#8) Notre Dame (#20)
Rusty USC (#16) Duke (#25)
Sean G. Marshall (#19) Nebraska (#25)
Sean L. Ohio State (#17) BYU (#21)
Dave Mississippi St (#5) Baylor (#11)
Dom Arizona (#15) Pitt (#23)
Noah Stanford (#9) Georgia (unranked)

Drunks: Rusty, Brandon, Tako, Chris

Lazy: Dave, Ryan, Sean G. and Noah, Ryan, Tako

Sheep: Sean L, Sean L, Brandon, Brandon, Chris