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IRRATIONAL NATTY THOUGHTS, WILL BE DELETED IN THE MORNING

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UGH

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

The original title of this post was "Tako Tuesdays Can't Even", where my ability to even breaks and I get pissy like a white girl who is handed a vanilla latte when she CLEARLY ORDERED A FUCKING CARAMEL MACCHIATO.

But then I decided that would be petty.

Instead, I will just put my biased, emotional nonsense in the ether, and like the Dread Pirate Roberts, most likely kill it in the morning.

- The game was over when Dwayne Stanford dropped that third down pass. It was probably over when Charles Nelson dropped that third down pass. But it was definitely over when Dwayne Stanford dropped that third down pass. The opening Oregon drive was crisp. It's the best opening drive Oregon had all season. Their second drive, after an Oregon stop, started the exact same way. The Nelson drop killed a drive that, had it continued, could have made it 14-0 Ducks. The Stanford drop came after Ohio State answered Oregon's opening score. The Stanford drop was the last time Oregon had the ball when tied or in the lead. I'm convinced in my emotional, drunken brain that both those drives lead to touchdowns. That was it, right there. The rest was just posturing.

- One play, over and over again. That's how Ohio State destroyed Oregon. That one counter play, with the H-back delivering a punishing block, the pulling guard crushing someone, and Ezekiel Elliott making two cuts and getting a Reggie Daniels arm-tackle from a 70 yard touchdown. They ran it when they needed yards, when they needed to make it hurt, and when they knew Oregon was looking for it and knew it would work anyway. That counter play was a hammer, and Ohio State bashed Oregon over the head with it repeatedly, until they stopped moving.

- Urban Meyer can get fucked for that last touchdown. Yes, Oregon had timeouts left. Were they going to use them? Probably not. Did you kneel once to find out? No. I get it, you wanted to get Cardale Jones a touchdown to troll the world, and I respect the long con, you vicious wizard-man. Your players will love you for that move, as will the recruits you'll continue to get in order to replenish your death-machine. But still, that stung in a way it didn't need to sting, and I'd like to believe that Mark Helfrich has his guys kneel if he's in that situation. So you can go get fucked.

- Oregon did so many un-Oregon things. They didn't run the ball with any fire. They weren't very fast. They got tired. And they punted in the fourth quarter of the GOD DAMN NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME while down FIFTEEN POINTS WITH SEVEN MINUTES LEFT. That was the most Oregon time to go for it on 4th and 7, and they sent out a half-assed fake, followed by a punt, all while the FUCKING HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER STOOD ON THE SIDELINE. THAT WAS THE SEASON, AND MARCUS MARIOTA STOOD AROUND WHILE IAN WHEELER WAVED THE WHITE FLAG.

- I can't help but feel we're on the backside of this era. In 2011, I knew we'd be back. I knew that Oregon was building something that was more than a national championship appearance built on a innovative offense run by capable-enough players. But this year. This was it. This was the title shot programs dream about. We had the Heisman winner. We were coming off an absolute evisceration of the defending champs, in the most picturesque of all football settings. We were gifted four turnovers by a team that didn't need to give us four turnovers. CARDALE WENT FULL JAMEIS FOR FUCK'S SAKE. AND WE LOST BY A THOUSAND. And now I just can't shake the feeling that we'll be an 8-10 win-a-year program for the rest of all our lives, and we'll never get a better look at the trophy. And if we do win a national championship, we'll sit there afterwards going, "How the hell did we do that?" Had we won tonight, we'd know exactly how we did it.

- Fuck. This sucks.