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Washington State-Oregon Post Game Recap, Written By Someone Who Didn't Watch

Just gonna assume everything went well, and go from there.

Steve Dykes/Getty Images

Oh hey everybody! Was there a game today? I was at a teaching conference all day, so I'm kinda out of the college football loop.

Hey look, Oregon played Washington State today! Man, that seems like a bad matchup considering Oregon's porous secondary and Washington State's pass-or-death offense, and Oregon's general lack of ability to keep up due to their inconsistent and obnoxiously stunted and out of sync offense. I could totally see the Ducks losing this game if they can do absolutely nothing to stop the Cougars offense. If they lost though, it'd be close. Like a one-score loss. Maybe in overtime.

Nah, it's Oregon. We'll be fine. We looked like a hot bag of garbage against Colorado, and still won by a couple scores. We'll be fine. And plus, we've got Royce Freeman against a bad WSU run defense. He probably ran for like, 200 yards. No way we lose if he does that. We'll be fine. No problems whatsoever. We'll be fine.

Hey look, our uniforms are new! That's a thing to talk about in the comments.