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Quack Fix 12/24/16 - Christmas Eve Edition

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Ho-freaking-ho. Since none of our early risers had published a Fix yet, I figured I’d have a bash.

And so it is the Eve of Christmas in this shitstain of a year, 2016. All appears to be quiet on the Duck Front, though we were alerted yesterday to yet another potential blackmark to the football program, courtesy of Messers Franklin and Wallace:

Just spreading Christmas Cheer, no doubt.

Anyway, what’s going on today? Well, there’s a full slate from the No Fun League, including a game with (gasp) Playoff Implications featuring Marcus Merry-ohta and the Nissan Titans. And for you college football masochists, there’s the Aloha Bowl this afternoon, featuring Hawai’i and Middle-Upper-Southwestern Tennessee State. Yippee.

Hope all of you have your Christmas shopping done; you mind coming and finishing up mine for me? And if you could get them gift wrapped too while you’re at it, that would be great.

Season’s Greetings to you all. Have a very, Happy Merry.