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Emergency Sunday Quack Fix 12-30-2018: Your home for all of your PANIC needs

No really, Bite me Florida

New Era Pinstripe Bowl - Miami v Wisconsin Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images

What the fuck Mark Richt? Is someone bribing you to make our lives miserable? Is this some sort of cosmic joke? WHY CAN’T COACHES IN FLORIDA JUST STAY THE FUCK PUT??

Mario’s not leaving. He’s building something here. People don’t take a job, sign a big contract, agree to rebuild a program and allow that program to build their culture around you only to bail after one freaking year because you can’t bear to be more than 5 miles away from your parents and/or sibs as a 40 year old man.


Seriously, FML

Okay, here’s your PANIC thread, feel free to panic about Miami, Mario or this little football game thing we having going on tomorrow. I’m going to be staring at Twitter, willing Mario to tweet HAHA EFF YOU MIAMI I’VE GOT KAYVON THIBODEAUX HERE to all the world.

This isn’t going to be the last article over the next several days with Cristobal’s name in it.

Here’s another one.

But remember, Mario loves Oregon

And also, there’s this: