Dishing Quack: My Offseason Vacation in GIFs

As a kid, one of the worst things about returning to elementary school in the fall was the annual “What I did on my summer vacation” essay. The pressure of producing a narrative about an amazing fun filled summer that was so much better than everyone else’s was intense, especially when the reality was that I spent the entire three months riding my yellow banana seat Schwinn down to the corner store to buy sweet tarts and candy cigarettes with money I scrounged from recycling my dad’s empty Olympia beer bottles.

But the assignment is compulsory and the offseason is drawing to a close, so endure it we must. Because ATQ is a safe zone (HEY IT COULD HAPPEN) I can be transparent about how I’d like to frame my offseason, and the reality of my offseason. And because this is 2018 and not 197....er 1995, we don’t have to kick it old school by writing a shit essay in cursive with a Number 2 pencil on college ruled notebook paper. So without futher ado, I’d like to present Daisy’s offseason as told in GIFs.

**JANUARY - Started a new job!**

What I say my first day was like:

What my first day was really like:

**FEBRUARY - Skiing!**

How I say I was shredding:

How I was really heading:

**MARCH - Spring break in Belize!**

Me at the beach:

Really me at the beach:

**APRIL - Bought a new car!**

Act like I’m all:

Really I’m all:

**MAY - Uno’s high school graduation!**

What I say I did:

What I really did:

**JUNE - Ran a half marathon!**

How I say I finished:

How I really finished:

**JULY - Had a July 4th party!**

How I describe the party:

Actual footage from the party:

So how was your offseason? Post the real gifs in the thread below to tell us the story!