clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Dishing Quack: Daisy’s Offseason Play by Play

NCAA Football: Oregon Spring Game
And the Crowd Goes Wild!
Troy Wayrynen-USA TODAY Sports

My darling Quackers, it is 4 weeks and 1 day from our FIRST GAMEDAY 2019! It’s been quite an offseason for your dearest Daisy. Let’s go ahead and get EVERYTHING that’s been going on out there so we can hit the season in full stride!

January: January is always detox month. You spend the first 2 weeks hating everyone still playing football, cheering for meteor strikes and then you wake up one Tuesday morning and realize: IT’S. OVER. No more college football. All you have in front of you is 7.5 months of teenage inconstancy, rainy spring practices and....OH WAIT, AND SABRINA IONESCU! Leave it to a kick-ass sister Duck to save the winter for all of us!

February: I don’t remember a single significant or interesting thing happening in February. I mean, why do we even have February? It just stretches out Winter a month too long YET this is also the month with the snow gets heavy and the skiing starts to kinda suck. Let’s abolish February.

March: BARCELOOONA! BARCELONA! (channeling Freddie and Montserrat Caballé) Okay no one sounds like Freddie but I took the most amazing 2 week long trip to Spain and Italy with my two sister-in-laws in March! Known as the #FuckCancerSisterTour, we visited so many sites, ate so much good food and drank ALL THE WINE. It was the best time ever.

Oh, and there was also March Madness and a FINAL FOUR to be enjoyed!! As per my normal modus operandi, I finished in the penultimate position in my office March Madness pool. Next year I’m making them offer a prize for finishing last.

April: This conversation happened:

Daisy: “Hey Deuce, I want you to..”

Deuce: “Mom, I’m done, I’m not answering to Deuce any more. For god’s sake, do you know what that means to a guy my age?”

Daisy: “Well what am I supposed to call you now?”

Deuce: “You can call me Ian. I always wished you would have named me Ian.”

Daisy: ... ... “I can’t believe you are my kid. Fine I’ll call you Dos.”

May: Uno came home!! After an interminable 9 months away at college. It was heaven for 3 days. And then I realized that he thought he was an actual adult with actual free will and wanted to actually do what he wanted to do and not what I wanted him to do. You can imagine that all his wrongness caused some discord at Casa Daisy. This is a serious design flaw in children, I don’t think god really thought this whole thing through very well when he created teenagers.

June: My workplace was named one of the Best Places to Work in Denver! Given that I just started to build this site from scratch 18 months ago, it’s a pretty cool and significant achievement. I’m pretty sure someone should give me a raise, or a medal or a plastic trophy or a leg shaped lamp in recognition.

July: Dos and I went to ComicCon International in San Diego. Dos dressed up like some dude from some video game and was evidently so impressive that he was asked to take pictures with strangers every 20 min. He also freaked out to no end about meeting some guy from some Youtube channel who does something or another with some kind of gaming.

As for me, after waiting in line for 2.5 hrs I got to see George Takei speak on his experiences in Internment Camps in the United States during WWII. It was really, really moving and particularly germane given the current political climate.

August: We’re just two days into the month and so far the best thing about August is that we’re only Kani Benoit days until Duck Football!!

How was your offseason my Duckies? Drop the best and worst of your offseason in the comments below!