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Week Eight Oregon Ducks Report Card

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Super Special Halloween Edition

Colorado v Oregon Photo by Tom Hauck/Getty Images

Now I know what most of you are saying— ‘Where has sodd been, and where’s our Report Card post, my weekend isn’t complete without his nuanced and thought-provoking commentary!’

Where indeed.

So you see, my wife and I every year host elaborate, themed Halloween parties. This was our tenth, and most likely, our last. We’re not getting any younger, and our friends are becoming old and crotchety, and would rather be home on Saturday night curled up in front of the teevee, watching some stupid reality show with a tall glass of Metamucil by their side. In short, there’s been a noticeable drop in the enthusiasm level amongst our compadres; plus, my wife and I want to start traveling more frequently, so we decided that our tenth party would probably be our last. But we decided we’d go out with a bang. This year’s theme was Medieval.

Welcome to Castle San Bruno

Monty Python meets Game of Thrones

Because no medieval feast is complete without fresh produce
Or exotic dancers from the Orient
Twas a bountiful feast indeed
Famous relics were on display
In case of attack
And what party would be complete without cherubs and REAL LIVE GOATS
My dear friend Rusty protecting the Royal Bar
Beware the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (look at the bones!)
A good time was had by all— or else

So anyway, where was I? Oh right, so I guess there was a football game Saturday, Oregon vs. Colorado. Ummm, I’d give the Offense an A; 568 total yards, 32 first downs, 52 points, Anthony Brown dropping dimes all over the field, Devon Williams making circus catches, Byron Cardwell— BYRON CARDWELL?

The Defense is still a work in progress; and I know that 15 of the Buffs’ 29 points came in garbage time against second and third stringers, but that’s still to many. Hoping the injuries to Verone McKinley, lll and Daymon David weren’t serious. I’ll give the defense a B-.

The Special Teams did their thing, Cam Lewis nailed all 8 of his kicks (7 PATs, 1 27-yard FG), while the offense gave punter Tom Snee the game off, as Oregon scored on eight of their nine possessions. The coverage team dodged a bullet, however, as Colorado’s Brenden Rice nearly broke a couple of returns on the day. We’ll give them a B-.

A blowout win on Homecoming Weekend, a revved-up offense, only 5 penalties for 40 yards, and a quarterback playing his best ball of the season. Maybe Head Coach Mario Cristobal does know what he’s doing. I’ll give he and his staff an A-.

Solid kit this week, liking the black pants with the yellow tops, A.

The crowd seemed jazzed, they were dressed up for Halloween, and the sun was shining, A

I actually like Brock Huard and despite my usual revulsion of all things FOX, their broadcast Saturday was solid, A-.