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The Third Annual Hate Week Poetry Slam!

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Submit your odes, haikus, slams and poems dedicated to the Oregon-Washington rivalry!

Portrait of William Shakespeare... Photo by DeAgostini/Getty Images

That’s right, after a brief interruption the Hate Week Poetry Slam is back on!

Please contribute your pieces to this thread, Ducks and Huskies. Here are a few of our favorite selected pieces over the years:

0-12

It started at Oregon, that year of ‘08;

The year that we Duck fans remember as great;

The Mormons, the Sooners, the Cardinal, three more;

Your record was suddenly zero and four;

’Zona, the Beavers got in on the mix;

Oh look at that now, you’re zero and 6;

The Domers were next, but somebody in heaven;

Was looking out for your loss number seven;

Back in the Pac were the Trojans and A-State;

Nine losses now, Ducks revel in hate;

The Bruins in Seattle for the tenth loss of the year;

Wazzu in the Apple Cup: “here, hold my beer”;

One last hope in Berkeley to avoid the sad fate;

Of the worst team in history, of which there’s no debate;

Our ATQ South brethren finished the job;

Hung 48 on the fuskies, Seattlites sob;

A decade has passed, since that year of years;

But hoist your glass now, your wine or your beers;

As we toast the wonderful year of ’08;

The year that we Duck fans remember as great.

By Anatra Da Spennare

There once was a team called U-dub.

One year every game was a flub.

They went oh-and-twelve,

said “Oh what the hellve!”

And retired, forth-with, to the pub.

By Schrödinger’s Duck

Dear Oregon Ducks-

I hope these words find you well, and that you all understand

I’ll use nice small words, nothing big or too grand

We don’t call it ‘Hate Week’ up here in the North

To do so is beneath us, it sullies the sport

We’re a proud bunch us Huskies, we’re noble a true

We’ve been through a lot, earned a championship or two

I know you don’t have one, and probably never will

Championships can’t be acquired with money from Phil

Some of you I respect, there are some true fans.

But your bandwagon grows full, quick wins in their hands

Fandom is not earned with pretty branded apparel

Your fanbase is hollow, like a shiny green barrel

Put a new uniform on it! Cover it in chrome!

It’s the flavor of the week, no tradition your own

This is where we differ, us Dawgs and you Ducks

Our fandom is won, while your fandom is bought

See, you held out your hand, “Give us money, you cried”

Losers for decades, yet Uncle Phil has obliged

But class can’t be purchased, you’re pigs in a dress

Still ugly on the inside, a train wreck, a mess

I’ve been to your stadium, had beer thrown at me too

But it sure cleared out early, when we hung 70 on you.

As a group you are great, at making headlines en masse

Throwing food at other teams, you’re tasteless, no class

You had a good run, 04 to 15

It was pretty impressive, the best that we’ve have seen

Money and Nike, almost straight to the top

But came crashing down, like Icarus, a flop

Had your chance and you blew it, thought you could lead the PAC

Webbed feet aren’t for running, so best stay at the back

If history holds true then it’s where you belong

You were never a leader, you were never that strong

So, Like the changing of seasons, our reign is back

We’re Kings of the North, you’re the Lannisters of Quack

So buckle your chinstraps, because here come the Dawgs

And we’re coming for blood, yours will run from our paws.

Hate is a strong word, not to be thrown around.

But you we do hate, signed sincerely, ‘The Pound.

By ceverman