YELLOW REGIONAL FINAL: (4) 2014 Badasses Wear Yellow vs. (2) 2014 These Ones Go To Eleven
The third straight calendar year matchup features two of 2014's most important Ducks performances as well. There's a clear favorite and a surprisingly powerful upstart, and again, two decidedly different montages. I've got my GMO popcorn nuking in the microwave already. You guys?
TO THE MODELING RUNWAY!
(4) 2014 Badasses Wear Yellow
Photo credit: Steve Dykes
Time: September 6, 2014.
Result: Oregon 46, Michigan State 27.
Bracket victims: HURR I'EM A HOERS, Green And Yellow Are Our School Colors, Bumblebees.
Laundry: Before making this bracket, you could've told me an all-yellow kit was going to go this far. I would've laughed at you. And yes, Badasses had some obvious things in its favor: awesome win, incredible plays with good photos, and an easy draw. But on its own merits, I love this thing more every time I look at it. When the helmet wing plays off the shoulder wing, it's a thing of beauty. When the helmet wing plays off THE WHOLE FREAKING UNIFORM, it goes to some whole other level that makes my inner football nerd feel strange things in its nether regions.
There are plenty of curmudgeons who will point out the lack of green. Tako will still hallucinate that the helmet wing is grellow. And y'know, I probably won't vote for it because the tags are still on my Wheaton throwback and eBay exists. (Like I'd ever sell it. I just like to make jokes.) But I gained new love for the color yellow, and you can't put a price on that. Oh wait, I just said eBay exists. I'll start the bidding at $1.99. There will be no Buy It Now option. Buyer assumes all responsibility upon receipt of goods.
(2) 2014 These Ones Go To Eleven
Photo credit: Scott Olmos-USA TODAY Sports
Time: October 18, 2014.
Result: Oregon 45, Washington 20.
Bracket victims: Sweet Jesus These Things Are Ugly, Stop Me If You've Seen This One Before, Chimera.
Laundry: It's gonna be great when Marcus Mariota wins us our second consecutive National Championship and Heisman next year isn't it? That joke makes people cry, and so it really can't be that great a joke. On second thought, Andrew Luck came back. And we love Marcus more than those three Stanford fans in existence loved Andrew. Of course, Luck has a neckbeard, so his decision making can't be all that sound, then, can it?
BUT I DIGRESS. If I have a nit to pick with this uniform, it's that in a certain light, the green is a little too aquatic for my taste. I always thought Aquaman was kind of cool despite all his haters, though, so maybe I can live with it. I mean, can you shoot concentric elliptical beams out of your head and summon a Kraken, Superman? And why don't you try breathing underwater without Morgan Freeman's help, Batjerk?
Oh who am I kidding, this is the quintessential throwback uniform: 20 years after #20's pick, we trot this out against the same opponent? Say what you want about Nike, but marketing like that doesn't happen by accident. It's TOTALLY BRILLIANT.
Lastly, here's the link to the Google Sheet of the bracket, for those of you who want to check on the latest tallies, or simply reminisce about all the time we've wasted on this over the past month.
POLL WILL CLOSE NOVEMBER 16, 2014.