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When Matt Takimoto isn't comparing Oregon football players to Impressionist painters and Velvet Underground songs, or playing around with MSPaint, he is a graduate student in elementary education at UC-Berkeley. He started reading Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" in 2003, but can't seem to find the time to finish it, choosing instead to read "The Phantom Tollbooth" over and over again. He likes Irish whisky and sushi, hates wet socks and high places, and still can't understand why Ben Savage hasn't parlayed "Boy Meets World" into a Ryan Gosling-esque movie career.

Praise for Matt Takimoto:

"He's not wrong" - Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday

"I've wanted him fired for a long time." - ATQ author Matt Daddy

"You're the best." - ATQ user daisyduck

THE LAST UNIFORM OPINION I EVER HAVE

Just when Tako thought he was out, they pull him back in...

Tako Tuesdays Rates Khalil Tate

Using advanced metrics, I will attempt to find Khalil Tate’s place among the greats of history.

Fraternizing with the Enemy: UW Dawg Pound Q&A

John Sayler from UWDP joins us to add fuel to our hatefire.

Tako Tuesdays is Filing a Complaint

I don’t want to have to disown you, so please help me out with this.

Tako Tuesdays is Playing Through Adversity

Much like the Oregon offense, I do not have the health necessary to get the job done.

Tako Tuesdays Can Prove Oregon Football is Elite Wait Where Are You Going Come Back

Tako Tuesdays Wants to be Sexy Iowa

Defense is exciting again! Let’s do the least Oregon thing of all, and embrace it.

Un-Break Tako Tuesdays

Say you love me again

Tako Tuesdays: Schrodinger’s Football Game

Cal-Oregon is this Saturday night, and literally anything is possible.

Tako Tuesdays’ Pac-12 Out-of-Conference Recap

Who’s still standing tall, and who fell flat on their faces to open the 2017 season?