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When Matt Takimoto isn't comparing Oregon football players to Impressionist painters and Velvet Underground songs, or playing around with MSPaint, he is a graduate student in elementary education at UC-Berkeley. He started reading Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" in 2003, but can't seem to find the time to finish it, choosing instead to read "The Phantom Tollbooth" over and over again. He likes Irish whisky and sushi, hates wet socks and high places, and still can't understand why Ben Savage hasn't parlayed "Boy Meets World" into a Ryan Gosling-esque movie career.

Praise for Matt Takimoto:

"He's not wrong" - Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday

"I've wanted him fired for a long time." - ATQ author Matt Daddy

"You're the best." - ATQ user daisyduck

Tako Tuesdays: The Threat of an Overreaction

Oregon football might be good. But probably, they appear as though they are good.

Tako Tuesdays Just Hopes You’re All Okay

Seriously. The state is on fire. Who gives a damn about football?

Tako Tuesdays - The Beatdown Edition Volume 2

Oregon’s given out its fair share of whompings; which one was the whompiest?

Tako Tuesdays - the Beatdown Edition Volume 1

because it’s important to enter each season with a measure of humility.

Tako Tuesdays: Best Case/Worst Case 2017

Tako Tuesdays is a year older, and a thousand years wiser.

Addicted to Quack Realigns College Football, Part 4

Everyone leaves town, and we limp to a sad and unsatisfying finish. So, just like your wedding night.

Addicted to Quack Realigns College Football, Part 3

Part 3 of our great hypothetical redraft of the college football conferences.

Addicted to Quack Realigns College Football, Part 2

The realignment draft begins, and goes off the rails almost immediately.

Addicted to Quack Realigns College Football, Part 1

Football needs fixing, and we’re just the idiots to fix it.

Tako Tuesdays Goes for Two

A retrospective on maybe the singular play of the Kelly-Helfrich era: the swinging gate PAT