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When Matt Takimoto isn't comparing Oregon football players to Impressionist painters and Velvet Underground songs, or playing around with MSPaint, he is a graduate student in elementary education at UC-Berkeley. He started reading Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" in 2003, but can't seem to find the time to finish it, choosing instead to read "The Phantom Tollbooth" over and over again. He likes Irish whisky and sushi, hates wet socks and high places, and still can't understand why Ben Savage hasn't parlayed "Boy Meets World" into a Ryan Gosling-esque movie career.

Praise for Matt Takimoto:

"He's not wrong" - Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday

"I've wanted him fired for a long time." - ATQ author Matt Daddy

"You're the best." - ATQ user daisyduck

Tako Tuesdays is Rooting for Washington to Win the College Football Playoff

Hear me out.

An Open Letter to Rob Mullens

We’re waiting...

From the Desk of SWOOOOOOOP

In times of dire need, Swoop is here.

A Reasonable $10,000,000 Coaching Search

Eight figures can get you a lot, but there are a lot of bad ideas out there. Tako is here to help find cost-effective solutions.

A Bunch More Oregon Records for Justin Herbert to Tie

The Deadlock Don has a few more years as Oregon’s quarterback. He needs some goals to shoot for.

Tako Tuesdays Takes Inventory

Let’s dig through and figure out what good parts are left on this mighty wreck.

Oregon @ Cal - A Q&A with ATQ South Golden Blogs

Funny. They’re almost as iffy about their team as we are about ours.

Tako Tuesdays Tries to Polish this Turd

This season has been a hot mess, but Oregon football has a history of hiding jewels amidst garbage.

Tako Tuesdays is a Second Half Team

Oregon football is in some kind of mess right now. What will it take to salvage this season?

Tako Tuesdays: Eulogy vs. Euphoria

There are only two possible outcomes this Saturday: the end of an era, or the highest of high comedy.