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I'm Done With This Season and Now Just Hoping for Surprise

We're sick of it. And calling out the Ducks for the pathetic display they've put on this Pac-12 season.

Scott Olmos-USA TODAY Sports

I've watched enough crappy basketball from this Duck team to last me a lifetime this season.

From here on out any win will be considered a surprise rather than expected. And that goes for wins against even the likes of WSU or USC who are the only two teams below Oregon in the Pac 12 standing at this point. Think about that for a second. Actually don't; it will make your brain hurt.

No one is innocent of the debauchery of a display of ineptitude we're calling the 2013-14 Ducks Basketball season.

So many times Duck fans this year have shook their heads at the end of games and wondered "what the hell just happened?" Why did Dotson try and save that ball in the backcourt against OSU only to turn it over and give them a 7 point lead late? How did you miss a layup late Artis against Stanford at home that might have tied the game? Why the hell is 5 foot 6 inch Johnathan Loyd guarding 6 foot 5 inch CJ Wilcox late in a close game?

So for the anguish this team has caused Duck fans this season, I'm here to call out each one of them on the turd pile they have dropped in our living rooms and made us have to deal with.

Dana Altman

It starts at the top big man. This isn't an indictment of you on a whole, but this is the least Altman-like team I've ever seen. You used to be about defense first, rebounding second, transition basketball third, and finally let the rest fall into place. Hell, that's the way you started the season against Georgetown. So what the hell happened? Oh yeah, and you don't get extra points for saving timeouts at the end of games. I remember watching games the last 3 years and thinking "why the fuck is he playing" (Garrett Sim) only to later realize you understood he knew how to take care of your three priorities. So what has happened this year? Did you forget who you were? So far it looks like it.

Joseph Young

Here's a little bit of advice. When you're 1 for 4 in the last 8 minutes of a game, it's not a heat check. It's a bad shot. I could build a house with the bricks you've laid on bad shots at the end of games this conference season. How about you run the offense that has given Oregon 3 straight 20 win seasons and a sweet 16 appearance and stop worrying about whether or not you're hot with 1:20 left on the road against the #2 team in the country.

Mike Moser

I guess Ben Howland was right about you. Surprising that another coach that focuses and cares about defense didn't want you on their team. There's a reason that in one of the most important games of the season against Ucla you spent the last 8 minutes observing from the bench. There are two ends to the basketball court; defense and offense. It would be nice if for once you played a little of both.

Jason Calliste

Man I love so much of your game, but I wish there was a stat for how many times a guy beat you off the dribble. Your pump fake 3 - draw a foul is sick. Unfortunately, it's not as sick as the number of guys that blow right by you when you're on defense and get easy looks at the basket. Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about those 3 straight free throws you missed against Colorado.

Damyean Dotson

What the hell happened to you this year? Did you miss Dominic Artis so much you decided to carry out your own hunger strike on the basketball court just to show up the NCAA? You're shooting 41% from the field and 26% from 3 in conference games. That's called not showing up.

Richard Amardi and Elgin Cook

You realize there is a need for some consistent play down low on this team right? I mean, you don't like sitting on the bench watching Altman try and play 4 guards against teams with 7 foot centers, right? I'll text you the number for one Arsalan Kazemi and let him describe to you what being great at defense and rebounding and not caring one bit about how many points he puts up gets him. PROTIP: Drafted into the NBA.

Dominic Artis

I swear you're on the bench checking Ebay during games. Why else would you not be playing?

Ben Carter

Ten dollar talent, ten cent brain. I don't blame you, this team has played that way pretty much every game this conference season

Waverly Austin

[sigh] I don't even know what to say. The only center on this team an you're averaging 4 minutes, 0.22 points, and 0.55 rebounds a game. You're 7 feet and your stats don't even add up to that.


Did I miss anyone? Oh yeah that's right...

Johnathan Loyd

Dude, you're the heart and soul of this team. You were in that locker room last year when Kazemi and Singler ripped every one of you a new asshole for not playing to your potential. I can't believe that you would sit idly by and watch this shit show of a display week in and week out without saying a word. I only hope that is how you got that broken nose. In all honesty I consider you the linchpin for what turned this program around, and I'll be damned if I watch you sulk away a season by a bunch of brain-dead me-first guys. It's on you to rally this team and finish the season strong. Your tiny shoulders have carried much of the weight the last 4 years, but none bigger than they carry now. Go punch Austin in the dick and wake him up. Go yank on Moser's collar and make him realize he's taller than 6 feet, go get in Young's face when he shoots an ill-advised shot early in the clock and go throw some "we're better than that" cold water on Dotson, Artis and Carter cause they need it.


This team has so much talent and so little discipline. I hate watching a team squander its talent because their basketball IQ is lower than their shoe size. I'll forever be a Duck fan, an Altman fan, and college basketball fan, but the last ten games have sucked the lifeblood out of me for all three.

At this point I've moved beyond expectation, beyond disappointment, to now I'm just hoping for surprise.